Welcome back to my Dark Corner of this Sick World.
‘We’re not filmmakers, we’re film hounds’
In a change of pace this week we’re looking at The Ski Bum.
‘Nobody’s scared, just a little worried’
Which tells you what it’s all about from its opening sex while sledding scene.
Establishing the liberated lifestyle of our outsider hero Johnny.
‘Sex and speed. America is a fantastic whore’
Here he is chatting up Charlotte Rampling.
‘I ever show you my grandfather’s harmonica?’
Okay the harmonica line, for some reason, isn’t sealing the deal, move on.
‘You wanna see my harmonica? Huh? Do you?’
Really wedded to that approach, huh?
But I’m sure he’ll succeed, I mean based on the opening, what else is the film about?
‘Hi I’m Sam’
But don’t go rushing out to buy it just yet.
‘It’s not going to be as easy as he thinks’
The history of The Ski Bum is quite interesting and we should talk about it because, God knows, the films isn’t.
‘Heavy’ ‘Out of sight’
It was based on a book by Romain Gary which producer Joseph E. Levine had tried to make into a movie for years
with stars like Peter O’Toole, Warren Beatty, Robert Redford, but with no luck.
‘Oh come on, Don’t do this’
So he handed it over to 3 UCLA film students who chucked out the book and went their own way.
‘Why don’t you make a film with us Cochoran?’
Sort of. In its array of wacky side characters...
‘I’m the woman of the new revolution. Joy is on my side’
Simultaneous dialogue...
#inaudible crosstalk– really nothing here is important.#
and anti-establishment ethic,
‘We can’t let the little man be destroyed’
This has all the hallmarks of a film made by people who saw Robert Altman’s MASH yesterday,
and didn’t realise that going skiing is actually not the same as going to war.
‘Much better, much better’
Characters in Altman’s masterpiece do behave like dicks but they are under appalling pressure,
seeing terrible things and dealing with it any way they can.
I just don’t think being in demand as a ski instructor is on the same level.
'You work for Burt Stone, don't you? We'ren't you the one sent to Aspin?'
'I don't know who told you that, but I'm not interested.'
And it should be noted...
‘And she knows I don’t want to teach anybody how to ski’
Where Johnny’s money comes from is never made clear but he has enough of it to ski every day...
get high...
‘You kids into dope?’
'Yeah'
and seduce women.
'Mary, Liz, Gabrial, Ah Gabrial.'
And the counterculture rage against materialism would be a lot more meaningful if the hero wasn’t independently wealthy.
‘You can take your job and you can shove it up your ass’
It doesn’t help that Johnny is played by Zalman King, whose acting range only goes from moody to angry.
‘Because they piss me off’
He can’t even offer a drink without losing it.
‘I said is a screwdriver alright?!’
The message that all this self-indulgent fun is ultimately unfulfilling is kind of lost when the lead is miserable from moment one.
‘It’s like I’m in the middle of some bad 1950s movie or something’
As is any comparison that might be made after he sells out.
‘I work for the man!’
The combined pressue of all these factors makes Johnny so mad that....
Only bad guys kick dogs in films, that’s the rule.
‘I killed your dog’
Oh, he outright killed it then?
‘Out of sight man, come in and have a drink’
That’s genuinely the response.
And I feel like the point they’re trying to make is; look, in their materialistic world,
they don’t care about a dead dog, but the hero’s the one who killed it!
‘Man I don’t know what you’re talking about’
I guess all this would matter less if the film was entertaining on any level.
‘I don’t know why he insists on doing everything with such a James Bond Flair’
But after the opening it inserts its head up its own bottom
‘We’re making a film’
‘It’s called the Ski Bum’
And never even attempts to take it out again.
And to make matters worse, it sets stuff up.
‘Well if it ever comes to anything I’d like to watch – I’ll lend you Johnny if you like’
And never follows through.
‘You’re not going to sleep with my mother’
Preferring to be an accumulation of scenes meant to signify the decadence of corporate America.
But which end up suggesting that the only alternative to capitalism is to be a dickhead.
‘I don’t want to say nothing but I think he’s right’
Also the dialogue is atrocious.
‘I never did know anything, I never did know anything, I never will know anything.'
The ski bum looks tempting, especially if you watch the trailer;
'Very soon he'll be out in the cold, caught in a tale of passion and lies.'
'The Ski Bum, down hill is where he is heading.'
Don’t be fooled.
‘What does it all mean?’
‘Yes! What does it all mean?’
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Should we do more movies like this or should we stick to horror and cult your opinions in the comments below?
'Will you turn that crap off!'