- Happy-ween, everyone.
I hope your pumpkin's are nice and juicy.
(laughs)
I don't know.
I'm not doing anything for Halloween this year.
The UK is kind of lame, actually,
when it comes to Halloween.
America, you do it better.
You have baths in candy corn, all of that stuff.
Who needs to go to a party with actual friends,
when I've got all of you
to watch me have a party by myself.
So if we're going to ween it up,
I needed a last minute costume.
And obviously Squid Game is the most popular
Halloween costume this year.
So I thought, why not join in on the trend?
I could wear a Squid Game.
But, obviously, as it's so close to Halloween,
they were all sold out.
Except for this one star Squid Game costume.
It really did spark my interest
because how can something be so bad
that it universally gets one star from everyone?
First red flag on the product page
was that they just used a picture from Squid Game.
There was no picture of the product.
I don't know what I'm going to get.
So I bought it.
I haven't read the reviews, but I want to read them now.
"The worst quality."
(laughs) "The quality is shocking.
It looks like a red bin bag."
"It's red. It's not even pink."
"Look like something you would wear
to process a crime scene."
"I would not go trick or treating in this."
Oh no.
Wow, people are mad.
I wonder if I'm going to be as mad as everyone else.
This is just making me more excited to try it on.
What is in the box?
Ooh. Okay.
That is definitely not the right color.
The Squid Game outfits were a shade of pink.
And this is like tomato red.
No, are you kidding?
(laughs)
The mask is just two face masks, right?
So they want you to put two of these over your face
and then they've just attached a square sticker.
(laughs)
To stick on the front.
I can't believe this.
This is worse than I thought it would be.
And then we've (laughs) also got an inflatable machine gun,
which I didn't know was going to be included.
So that's actually a bonus.
Right, the jumpsuit, how are we doing?
Look how cheap that is.
It feels like it's made out of paper.
I can see you through the hood.
I can actually see the camera through the hood.
I'm gonna try and put it on without tearing a hole in it.
(breathes)
This is very tight.
I feel like I've lost all blood supply to my legs
Oh, I'm in.
I mean, that is completely see-through.
You can totally just see what is underneath the jacket.
I definitely recommend wearing clothes under this,
otherwise it'd be a very nippley Squid Game.
The legs just end like this, like some kind of horse hoof.
Oh, what?
So I've got one boot with nothing.
And then one which is this entire stomper.
All right, time to get my masks on.
So I put one, what's it say?
Apply the square sticker to the mask
you'll wear on your forehead, all right.
Oh, this sticker is so cheap
it's definitely just come out of someone's home printer.
Right, okay.
So I'm going to apply the square to the forehead.
Apply the top mask to your forehead, okay.
(giggles)
All right, wear the second mask
just like you would wear a normal face mask
leaving only your eyes visible, okay.
This is so bad! (laughs)
Really?
This is so much worse than I thought it was going to be.
Are you kidding?
Oh, my stickers already peeling off, look at that!
Wait, I need my gun.
I don't really want to put this in my mouth,
but it's happening.
Actually though, at least if you go into a Halloween party,
you'll be safe.
Oh, I'm surprised,
it's actually quite a good-sized machine gun.
I assumed this would be the size of a machine gun
if it was real, just a lot less floppy.
I'm just going to disinfect this mouthpiece.
Didn't really want to put a one-star blower in my mouth,
ff you know what I mean.
Come on. Oh, I'm sweating.
(coughs)
The blower is not doing anything.
Please.
Oh, here we go.
(tropical music)
Whoa, I'm dizzy.
Oh my gun is a lot happier to see me.
Whoa. Okay, I like that.
That's good, that is fine for a Halloween prop.
Hang on. (chuckles)
Oh my, God, my sticker no, please.
Wait, wait.
No, I just want one shot of it being finished.
Gun is pretty solid.
The jumpsuit is terrible
and the mask is just a crime against humanity.
The fact that they're charging 20 quid for this,
they're having an absolute laugh,
so I understand why people gave it one star.
I think if people are at a few drinks at a Halloween party,
you could show up late and everyone would be like,
"Oh, Squid Game!"
Especially in a dark room.
Look, if I switched the lights off,
see now it looks all right.
Because of the gun,
I'm going to tip them up to one and a half stars.
(dramatic music)
(horn blows)
(laughs) So bad.
Oh. (laughs)
I can't keep this on, it's not going to work.
I was going to wear this for the whole video,
but it's just really, really crap.
So now I'm costumed up, if you could say that,
I thought I'd live my American fantasy
of going trick or treating.
And I found a lighter box
of the ultimate American Halloween candy.
This was not the box, by the way,
it was just an ugly cardboard box.
So I thought I'd jazz it up a bit.
I'm just going to see what I missed out on in my childhood.
Now that I'm a sad British man.
And it would be weird if I knocked on your door
and asked for sweets.
(dramatic music)
The first thing we have,
which we do not get in the UK is candy corn, oh no.
It's marshmallows.
I thought this was going to be real candy corn
from the picture.
All right, it's still candy corn flavor though.
You can't win them all.
Oh, oh! That smells potent.
Smells like you've just stuck your nose
in the top of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.
Here we go. (crunching)
Mm, oh, oh, oh.
Good first taste, very strong,
gone-off butter aftertaste.
Like you've had a really buttery toast.
Now I've got over the shock it's actually quite addictive.
I'm going to give it a three out of five, yeah.
Swedish Fish.
I had you before before.
I thought these were from Sweden and they're not,
they're from Canada.
Why aren't they called Canadian Fish?
So you're saying, if you go trick or treating in America,
they're going to just whack a massive box
of these in your basket.
You lucky little imps.
These are some sad Swedish Fish.
Are they gone off?
No, March 2022.
Oo, Pina Colada, I'm such a stereotypical gay.
I love myself a Pina Colada.
Mmm, that's delicious.
The texture of a Swedish Fish is beyond a Haribo,
I would say.
That is the best fish I have put in my mouth.
I don't know if it's the sugar high,
but I'm giving them a five.
Twizzler, controversial opinion.
I've had this before.
It's not that great.
They kind of taste like plastic, I'm sorry.
If you've ever had Australian red licorice
that makes me make almost demonetizable noises.
This, it's just like its weak, less hot cousin.
Now I'm having more bites, it is very addictive.
Do they put Class A drugs in this sweet?
I think the trick is just to shove the whole thing
in your mouth and then it tastes a bit better.
I'm going to give it a three.
Hershey's, the war between Cadbury's and Hershey's rages on.
Which side of the war are you on?
I'm Team Cadbury's because I'm British,
but Cookies and Cream is a whole other level.
I think you will be mad to give this away
in someone's candy box.
It's like being slapped in the face by an Oreo.
It's really delicious, slightly chemically,
but it's also pretty dreamy,
so it's getting four out of five.
If this was standard normal Hershey's chocolate,
it would get a one, 'cause that just tastes like hands.
Oh, we got a Twinkie.
I had one of these back when we lived in Manchester
and I think I liked it.
I got a lot of cream in my mouth.
This one looks a bit wet (laughs).
Like it's been condensating in there since 2012.
(crunches)
Hmm, good cream, good vanilla taste.
That's not a candy though,
that tastes like an American breakfast
you'd have with bacon and maple syrup or something.
So as a candy, I don't know why you'd put it in this box,
I'm giving it a three.
We got a Tootsie Roll.
What are you?
(internet dial up tone)
It doesn't say what it is.
What is it with American candy?
And they're just like, here have this thing.
You don't know what you're buying.
In the UK, there'd be a big description,
like Tootsie Roll, a caramel-covered slice of egg
or whatever it is.
I'm assuming it's not a slice of egg.
I hope to God it isn't.
Oh, it's chocolate.
This does not look appetizing.
Ah, oh, ugh.
Ew, no.
It's like already pre-chewed chocolate.
Like a bird has regurgitated it into my mouth.
The flavor's kind of bitter,
Like they mixed chocolate with tree bark or something.
Kind of like dark chocolate.
It's more of a refined taste
than I thought it would have been.
Maybe this is a chocolate for the sophisticated American.
Giving it a one though, sorry, guys.
Red Hearts, cinnamon-flavored candy.
Why would anyone make cinnamon-flavored candy?
Is this a prank?
This is what you give the really annoying kids
on your street that you don't like?
Come on then, how hot can it be?
(crunching)
Ah, ugh, that is not a pleasurable experience
in the slightest, minus two.
Ooh, a Reese's Stick. We get loads of Reese's stuff,
but we don't get Reese's sticks over here.
Oh, it's like a Reese Twix.
Mmm, if you put that in my basket on Halloween,
I would marry you.
Not if I was a seven-year-old child.
Ooh, yes, that has delighted me
after that disgusting cinnamon nightmare.
This Reese's is getting a six out of five.
Now And Later, what are you?
I'm not a fan of artificial grape.
I'm doubting this is going to tickle my grapes.
This just looks like a Starburst.
This kind of sweet, you always end up eating
a little bit of paper.
This is a horrible texture.
The grape flavor is not my fav.
Oh, my God, is this ever going to end?
The long lasting chew?
Oh, okay, this is a jaw workout.
- (Computer) 2000 years later.
Two out of five.
Last one, Warheads Pucker Packs.
All right, well, it's like a dip down.
So I'm dipping my watermelon in the apple.
That sounds like a euphemism.
Right, let's get a hefty coating.
(smacks lips)
Oo hoo! I pulled the face like the man.
Yeah, that is- ugh.
That is a bit too sour for me.
I feel like all my taste buds have been eroded,
but when I was a kid, I would love it.
I would just like, pour it into my eyes.
I'm going to give it a three.
But I think young Phil would have given it a five.
(tropical music)
Overall, I'm kind of sad
that the UK doesn't do Halloween as big as America.
There are Halloween parties,
and if you live on a nice cul-de-sac,
some kids might go trick or treating,
but it's not the crazy thing you see in the movies.
And I have been to America during Halloween
and seen how insane all the house decorations and stuff are.
So, I would like a bit of that over here.
But if you're like me and you're not doing any of that,
I hope you've had fun just hanging out with me
and learning about the joys of American candy
and why you shouldn't buy anything
with one star off the internet.
I'm probably going to go into a sugar coma now,
so I'll get the end of the video done.
Give me a thumbs up if you've enjoyed this,
check out my shorts channel,
where I tried to get some stuff from Minecraft
with zero context.
Spoiler, I wasn't very good at it.
And you can also check out my last video
about when I got catfished,
which has more plot twists then, I think,
the average episode of Catfish, it was crazy.
So check out that, have a good day,
have a good life and I'll see y'all later.
Goodbye.
For science, I just tried it without my shirt
and (laughs), yep, nips are out for the lads.
Just, just, don't buy this.