Alright, play along at home.
"Focused Vision"
Average age, three months.
So, "babies can finally start seeing their parents."
It takes three months before a baby can see their own parents?!
You get them lizards that hatch out of their eggs
and they instantly have to race across a snake filled beach in order to survive,
where as us, humans, can't even see anything for the first three months of our existence.
Right, what's next?
Teething, that's takes four months.
Eating solid food?
It takes us five months before we can eat solid food!
Humans are pathetic.
It takes us six months before
we could sit up straight?!
Oh, my God.
"Say first word," one year.
Alright. Well- Well, that's fair enough.
I don't know what my first word was.
Do you know what yours was?
Let me know in the comments.
On average, you can walk...
by the time you're one year old,
and, at four years old, you have an imaginary friend.
Oh, my god!
I've not thought about my imaginary friends-
I had so many imaginary friends!
Maybe the issue is I..., I didn't have any real friends.
"Ride a bike," average five years old.
Bit embarrassing.
I don't think I learned to ride a bike until I was, like, thirteen.
My grandad and my dad tried to teach me to ride a bike when I was younger,
but, I wasn't instantly amazing at it,
so, I, like, threw a tantrum and I got the hell out of there,
and I refused to learn for the next seven years of my life!
"Loose first teeth"
Six years old.
Aah! "Tooth fairy will visit shortly."
20p under the pillow the next morning...
Do not mind if I do.
Start reading at seven years old.
I think I was probably about that.
"Stop believing in Santa Claus" at seven years old.
What...?
Hold on a second!
In our family house,
we had a tradition on Christmas Eve
where Santa would bring us an early Christmas present,
and, it was always a DVD that was wrapped up in Christmas paper,
and, then we'd like watch the film on Christmas Eve.
It was a little tradition.
But, like, three years ago, for the first time,
my mam didn't bother wrapping the DVD that she bought from Tesco's
two hours earlier, and, me and my 36 year old
brother made her feel so guilty about it!
Average ten years old, you get your first phone.
That's probably still about accurate, isn't it?
I don't think I got a phone until I was thirteen,
but, that was a long time ago.
These days, I understand there's more of a need for a phone at this point.
"Start puberty," twelve years old?
I wish!
I'm not convinced I started puberty until I was in college.
There's a picture of fifteen year old Jack.
Fifteen years old!
"Body insecurities," twelve years old.
Ah yeah, shocker.
What's that? You didn't think prepubescent twelve year old Jack,
who looked about four years younger than all of his classmates,
didn't have body insecurities? Alright then.
"Start period." Average twelve years of age.
Still waiting on mine.
Start touching yourself,
thirteen years of age.
We'll move on from that one.
Watch R-rated movies,
thirteen years of age.
We'll move on from that one, as well.
"First kiss," fourteen years of age.
Ah... I should be so lucky.
I think, I- I think I was eighteen.
First trip out of the country.
Ay! I went to Turkey when I was three.
Apparently...
I- I remember none of it,
but, thinking about it, I feel sorry for every[one] that sat near me on the plane.
"Smoke cigarettes," average fifteen years of age.
Never smoked cigarettes.
Average sixteen years of age, "fall in love for the first time."
So, when I was in secondary school,
I thought that I had fallen in love,
but, I definitely had not fallen in love.
First time I fell in love was, of course, when- When I met
my lovely girlfriend,
editor Becky.
And, that's what I call her... (GIGGLING) Editor Becky.
Sixteen years of age, "try illegal substances."
I'll leave that kind of thing to turd boi420.
People, on average, lose their virginity at the age of seventeen.
I am comfortable in saying
that I was older than that when I lost my virginity.
"Have first drink," eighteen years of age.
I think I was sixteen when I had my first Foster's Gold,
and it was horrible, but, I couldn't tell anyone that I thought it was horrible.
So, I just had to keep forcing it down.
Attend Universität, eighteen years old.
That makes sense. That's the average.
We have not yet done that.
"First relationship" was at eighteen.
My first real relationship did start at eighteen for me,
I don't think we can count relationships that I had when I was fifteen that
only took place over MSN.
Say, "I love you" for the first time, eighteen years of age.
Yep, I did that one.
I think I was eighteen when I moved out.
First breakup. Not happened yet.
Yet...?
"First full time job," 20 years of age.
So... when did I start YouTube full time?
I guess it was when I finished college,
because I'd been doing YouTube for a couple of years
while I was still going.
So, I'll have been seventeen or eighteen.
"Buy first car?"
"There's nothing like the freedom of having your first car."
You do have so much more freedom once you learn to drive.
I r-recommend people learn to drive as soon as they can.
I think I was 20 years old when I bought my first car.
Lovely, little Citroën C1.
Thank you very much.
Apparently, you're most social at 25 years of age.
Yet, here I am, sat by myself,
recording comparison videos.
And, on average, people get married when they're 26.
(SNARKINGLY) "Some girls dream about this day from early childhood"
"Move in with partner"
"Taking the relation to the next level"
When did me and Becky move in together?
I think we were eighteen, you know.
Which is- It- That is young.
And, we'd only been together for six months, at the time,
but, it all worked out!
Here we are, eight years later.
"Have a first child" at 29?
(DISGUST)
Alright, thanks.
Wrinkles start appearing at age 30.
Well- Well that's nice.
And then you get divorced at age 30,
so, that's something to look forward to.
"Buy first house," at an average age of 32.
I'm sure that number is rising all of the time.
And then, you become a millionaire at age 37!
Guaranteed!
There you go.
But then, you get grey hair at 40.
So far...
no grey hairs.
Occasionally, get, like, a weird white one,
but, I think that's, like, a skin issue,
as opposed to just me getting old.
'Cause it's white like plastic rather than grey like grey hair.
Anyway...
Apparently, when you are 41, is when you are the highest earning
that'll you'll ever be in your life.
"Enjoy your many years of work, you're earning is peaking"
Oh, great. Good to know.
Ah, and then at age 40
is the "peak of unhappiness."
"At this age, people feel the most unhappy.
Life doesn't necessarily get any easier."
Well, that's lovely, isn't it?
Ooh, and then...
then we are at midlife crisis at age 50!
That's great!
Oh! But you become grand parents at 53?!
Then your parents die at 55.
Oh, but hey! Don't worry!
Then you retire at 64 years of age,
and then, you have to get hip replacement surgery.
My knees already giving me a bit of jiff,
I'm not gonna lie.
Oh, well that's nice!
That's a nice way to end.
70 years of age is apparently your average peak of happiness.
Oh! But then, you die.
Alright, well-
Ooh, I laughed too loud and I've annoyed me dogs.
Sorry, Kong.
Thank you very much for watching this video.
Hopefully you enjoyed.
Link to WatchData in the comments down below.
Subscribe so we can get to a million subscribers,
and I'll see you later.