the relationships in your life the most important relationship of all the most
lasting relationship I will ever have is the relationship I have with myself all
other relationships come and go even marriages that last until death do us
part end eventually the one person I am with
forever is me my relationship with me is eternal so what is this relationship
like do I wake up in the morning glad to find myself here am i a person I like to
be with do I enjoy my own thoughts do I laugh with myself do I love my body am i
content being with me if I don't have a good relationship with myself how can I
have a good one with someone else if I don't love myself I will always be
looking for someone to complete me to make me happy to fulfill my dreams
attracting healthy relationships being needy is the best way to attract an
unsuccessful relationship as author Wayne Dyer says in any relationship in
which two people become one the end result is to half people you see if you
expect the other person to fix your life or to be your better half you are
setting yourself up for failure you want to really be happy with who you are
before you enter a relationship you want to be happy enough so that you don't
even need a relationship to be happy also if you have a relationship with
someone who does not love himself or herself then it is impossible to really
please that person you will never be good enough for someone who is insecure
frustrated jealous self-loathing or resentful too often we knock ourselves
out trying to be good enough for partners
who don't have any idea how to accept our love because they don't love who
they are life is a mirror what we attract always mirrors those qualities
we have or beliefs we have about ourselves and relationships what others
feel about us is their own limited perspective of life we must learn that
life has always loved us unconditionally jealous people are very insecure they
don't value themselves they have no faith in their self worth jealousy is
really saying I'm not good enough I'm not worth loving so I know my partner is
gonna cheat me or leave me for someone else
this creates anger and blame if you stay with the jealous person then you are
saying that you don't deserve a loving relationship it's often the same thing
with spousal abuse errs they either grow up in a family where abuse was normal
and they just continue the family pattern or they blame the world and
their partners for their own lack of self-worth
abusers will never stop the abuse pattern unless they undergo therapy
abusers almost always have a parent they have deep resentment towards forgiveness
is a vital issue for them they must understand their patterns and be willing
to change our parents influence all my relationships are based on the
relationships I had with my parents I was so shocked when I first discovered
this years ago I'd gone to a loving relationship workshop conducted by
Sondra ray expecting to learn how to attract a loving relationship
I was so dismayed when I learned that we were going to work on our relationships
with our parents by the end of the workshop though I learned that the
reason I had so many problems in my personal relationships was because of
the very difficult childhood I had the abuses my mother and I had endured the
abandonment and lovelessness of my childhood it had all transferred itself
into my current relationships no wonder i attracted abuse of men no wonder they
always abandoned me no wonder I
felt unloved and unwanted no wonder I always seem to have bosses that
frightened me I was just living out what I had learned as a child that was a very
important workshop for me I released a great deal of resentment and learned to
work on forgiveness the relationship with myself
improved enormous ly and never again did I attract an abusive man
so rather than wasting our time saying men are no good or women or no good
let's look into the relationships we had with our parents or that our parents had
between each other for example what are your current complaints about the men or
women in your life think about how you would fill in these blanks he never he
always she never she always men won't women won't is this the way your mother
or father behaved toward you did your mother treat your father this
way or does this describe the way your father treated your mother how was love
expressed in your home when you were a child you may have to reach back into
your childhood relationship with your father or mother to resolve deep-seated
fears surrounding a relationship ask yourself what do I have to give up to be
in a relationship how do I lose me when I'm in a relationship what messages did
I receive as a child that created a belief in me that relationships are
painful affirm the love for yourself perhaps you have a very difficult time
setting limits and people tend to take advantage of you you may be sending out
a message that says I do not value and respect myself it's okay to abuse me and
take advantage of me but this does not have to be true for
you any longer begin today to affirm your love and your respect for yourself
look into a mirror frequently and tell yourself I love you as simple as this
sounds it's a very powerful healing affirmation
as you grow in self-love your relationships will begin to reflect this
love and respect as well you may wish to consider joining a support group such as
codependents anonymous or al-anon these are wonderful groups that will assist
you in establishing boundaries in your relationships and help you reconnect
with the self love and respect that is within you check your local phone
directory for a group near you it pleases me to notice that self-help
groups are becoming the new social norm people getting together with similar
problems working on solutions if you meet someone at one of these groups you
know that while they may have some problems they are working to improve the
quality of their lives I believe that we have comfort zones in our relationships
with others these comfort zones form when we are very small if our parents
treated us with love and respect then we associate this type of treatment
with being loved if as is the case for many of us our parents were unable to
treat us with love and respect then we learn to be comfortable with this lack
in an effort to get our needs met to feel loved and cared for we associate
being treated badly with being loved this becomes our pattern and as a
pattern is formed in childhood it becomes the pattern we use unconsciously
in all our relationships this belief pattern that being treated
badly equals love knows no gender bias I believe that this type of dysfunctional
pattern is more widely recognized in women because culturally women are
encouraged to express vulnerability and are thus more willing to admit when
their lives are not working this is changing however as more and more men
become willing to reconnect with their vulnerability women who love too much by
Robyn Norwood is an excellent relationship book and I also recommend
the audio cassette album making relationships work by Barbara DeAngelis
an affirmation for all of us is I open my heart to love and I am safe
all of the important work we do is on ourselves wanting your mate to change is
a subtle form of manipulation a desire to have power over him or her it may
even be self-righteousness because it is saying that you are better than he or
she is allow your partners in life to be as they choose to be encouraged their
self exploration self-discovery self-love self-acceptance and self-worth
finding love if you are looking for a mate I suggest that you make a list of
all the qualities you would like this person to have and do go beyond tall
dark and handsome or cute blond and pretty list all the qualities you want
then review this list and see how many of these qualities you possess are you
willing to develop the ones you don't have then also ask yourself what it is
within you that could be denying or delaying the attraction of this person
to you are you willing to change those beliefs is there still a part of you
that believes you are unlovable or unworthy of love is there a habit or
belief you have that pushes love away is there a part of you that says I don't
ever want to have a marriage like my parents therefore I won't fall in love
perhaps you have feelings of isolation it is very difficult to feel connected
to others win for the most part we are disconnected from our own selves in this
case you need to really focus some quality time on yourself right now
become your own best friend rediscover what makes you happy what you love to do
pamper and spoil yourself so often we look to others to make us feel loved and
connected when all they can do is mirror our own relationship with ourselves what
do you think you deserve in an intimate relationship when we are coming from a
place of feeling we can never get what we really want it usually means our
belief system supports not deserving is this what you truly believe about
yourself that you can't have what you truly want
this particular mental pattern no longer needs to be true for you you can begin
to make a change today make a few lists such as what I believe about men women
love marriage commitment fidelity trust and children these lists will show you
any negative beliefs you need to change you may be surprised by some of the
messages that are hidden in your consciousness
clean them out and you may be delighted to see how different your next
relationship is it's interesting to note that most psychics report that the
majority of people who come to them ask at least one of three questions
psychics hear these same questions over and over how can I get a relationship
how can I get rid of a relationship how can I increase my finances if you are in
a relationship that you really want to get out of use that all powerful tool
blessing with love affirm I bless you with love and I release you you are free
and I am free repeat this often then really be clear on what you do want in a
relationship make a list if you need to in the meantime work on loving yourself
non-stop love and accept the other person completely just as they are as
you change and grow inside you'll find that one of two things happens
automatically the other person will either align with your desires or they
will disappear altogether if they leave your life this transition will be smooth
always begin by loving and appreciating yourself everything else will change use
the affirmation I now discover how wonderful I am I choose to love and
enjoy myself it is very important to clean up and resolve old relationships
in order to commit to a new one if you are always talking about or thinking of
your last love you are not yet free and clear to enter the new one sometimes we
deify our previous love in order to protect
ourselves from being vulnerable in the present moment in her book a return to
love marianne williamson shares this wonderful barometer for our choices she
states than in all of our interactions we are either moving towards love or
moving away from love ideally to be fully happy and alive we want to be
making choices in our life that move us towards love as you work on resolving
the blocks that stand between you and your relationship practice being your
own lover treat yourself to romance and love demonstrate to yourself how special
you are pamper yourself treat yourself to small acts of kindness and
appreciation by yourself flowers surround yourself with colors textures
and scents that please you life always mirrors back to us the feeling we have
inside as your inner sense of love and romance grows the right person to share
in your increasing sense of intimacy will be attracted to you like a magnet
most importantly you will not have to give up any part of your own self
intimacy to be with that person the end of a relationship the end of an affair
is often a very painful time we go into the I'm not good enough routine and
punish ourselves we think that because the other person no longer wants to be
with us there must be something wrong with us and we often fall into deep
despair it is not true that there is something wrong with us though all
relationships are learning experiences we come together for a period of time we
share energy and experiences for as long as we can we learn what we can together
then there comes the time to part this is normal and natural don't cling to an
out worn romantic relationship just to avoid the pain of parting don't put up
with physical or emotional abuse just to be with
you will never have a fulfilling life if you cling to old experiences when we
allow ourselves to be treated with disrespect we are saying I am NOT worth
loving so I have to stay here and accept this behavior I can't bear to be alone
with just myself and I know that I'll never find another relationship these
negative affirm ations pull you down instead listen to the signals when a
relationship ends life is giving you a chance for a new experience this can be
a time for deep gratitude of acknowledging the good times you had
together and of appreciating all the learning experiences then you can
release that relationship with love and get on with the next step in your life
this is a time for loving yourself with tenderness and understanding this is not
the end of your world it's the beginning of a new phase with love for yourself
this new time of your life can be far more wonderful than what you are just
ending affirmations for the relationships in your life I have come
here to learn that there is only love I am discovering how wonderful I am I
choose to love and enjoy myself as a magnificent creation of a loving God I
am infinitely loved and I accept this love now I am open and receptive to a
wonderful loving relationship by thinking loving supportive thoughts I
create a loving supportive relationship I open my heart to love it is safe for
me to express love I get along with everyone wherever I am there is joy and
laughter I relate from my heart people love me and I love people I am in
harmony with life I always have the perfect partner in my life I am safe and
secure in my love for myself I am in a harmonious relationship with
life life loves me and I am safe i envelop everyone in my life in a circle
of love no matter if they are male or female I include my friends my loved
ones my co-workers and everyone from my past I affirm that I have wonderful
harmonious relationships with everyone where there is mutual respect and caring
on both sides I live with dignity and peace and joy I expand my circle of love
to envelop the entire planet and this love comes back to me multiplied within
me there is unconditional love and I express it to everyone
my unconditional love includes me for I know I am worth loving I love and
appreciate myself and so it is