- Today we ask the age-old question.
- Will it taquito?
- Let's talk about that.
(mystical electronic music)
- Good mythical morning.
- Taquitos AKA little tacos AKA rolled up deliciousness
that's super fun to eat and also super fun to say.
I mean seriously, it is very fun to say taquitos.
It makes you want to smile.
- Taquitos. - Taquitos.
It literally makes you smile.
- Taquitos.
- No, but you smile.
- Taquitos.
- [Link] Taquitos.
- [Hosts] Taquitos.
- Taquitos.
- Taquitos. - Taquitos.
Taquitos.
- Pretty fun.
Not as fun as I was thinking it was going to be
when you built it up,
but pretty fun.
Okay, now some people wait until they're married
before trying their first taquito,
but most of us couldn't wait that long
and we chomped down on some tasty taquitos
out of wedlock a long time ago,
but today will this already perfect snackatizer be able
to roll with what we got planned for it?
It's time for.
- [Hosts] Will it Taquito? (fiesta music)
- Here's what the mythical kitcheneers have decided
officially makes taquitos taquit.
One, they're rolled in a crispy tortilla of some kind.
Two, they gotta have some sort of filling inside
of that rolled up stuff,
and three it's got to have
at least some of the classic accoutrements
and accompaniments, sour cream, guac, salsa, and/or cheese.
- Okay so we're going to begin
with the ever confusingly named Ruth's Chris.
Now, if you go to a Ruth's Chris Steak House,
you're probably celebrating something.
I mean every time I've ever been there
I was celebrating something.
Everybody's celebrating something.
Every table is celebrating a birthday,
graduation, anniversary.
- Happy graduation. Happy anniversary.
- But with a taquito- - Happy third marriage.
- Made up of Ruth's Chris's menu.
- Ruth's Chris's, yeah.
- Ruth's Chris's menu I think is how you say that.
Is it going to be good?
Is it going to be high budget?
Well, say hello to Ruth's Chrisito.
- [Link] Oh my gosh, Josh.
- [Rhett] Now we gotta get prepped for this.
- [Link] What did you do?
- [Josh] Yeah so this is Josh's Ruth's Chris's taquitos.
We made a crab cake infused tortilla
and then we filled that with mashed potatoes
and filet mignon on top, classic steakhouse accoutrements.
We got the cream spinach, the cream corn,
(Rhett whispers)
a little bit of A1 crema.
- A1 crema? - A1 crema.
- Hey button your top color button.
- Button my top collar button?
- Yeah I mean, we're going to Ruth's Chris.
- Oh yeah sorry. How's that?
Okay, it still kind of looks
like I'm wearing a pajama top, but whatever.
- Put your napkin in there.
- Oh did I?
- I think you unbuttoned me with your elbow.
- Yeah, I hit your elbow with my elbow
and it unbuttoned your collar.
- I think it was just timing, bad timing.
- Oh look at that. Whew yeah.
These look absolutely amazing.
- They smell great.
I love the fact that you did the cream spinach on top,
which is like a classic side,
if you've ever been to Ruth's Chris's.
- I don't think I've ever been.
I don't think I've celebrated anything with Ruth's Chris.
- We should celebrate you not ever having celebrated there.
- You got some steak hidden down there in the center,
but the first thing I'm getting,
let me pull out some of that steak.
Whoop, there it is.
- Hmm, I think I'd overpay for that.
- They don't have any type of chips or anything
on their menu, right?
- Can we get Ruth? - That wouldn't make sense.
- Or Chris to go for this?
- [Josh] Yeah, I think if you get both,
I think that's what you need.
They need a third person to be a tiebreaker though.
- Who calls the shots, Ruth or Chris?
- Well I think-
- I think it's Ruth calls the shot
because it was Chris's steakhouse
but Ruth owns Chris's steakhouse.
- Yeah Ruth owns Chris, it's Ruth's Chris.
- Does she own Chris's steakhouse or does she own Chris?
- I think she owns Chris and he owns the steakhouse.
- [Rhett] They have like an agreement.
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
- Is it like just a bad marriage
where there's a power dynamic thing?
- Yeah, it's pretty ugly.
They're never in the same room,
but they're both eating steak,
and they could add this to the menu.
- And they should add this to the menu.
Ruth's Chris Steak House, will it taquito?
- [Hosts] Yes. (bell dinging)
- Ramen is of course one
of the tastiest slurpables our slurp holes ever did slurp,
but for days when a bowl is not the goal,
will a taquito made a ramen be
just what the taste doctor ordered?
We're calling this one taqramen.
- Ah, explain yourself Josh.
- [Josh] So we have made
what we're calling a noodle tortilla
that's filled with chashu pork.
On top you have some beni-shoga or red-pickled ginger.
You got a little bit of baby bok choy.
We have a ramen crema and a little bit of bean sprouts.
- [Rhett] Ramen crema.
- [Josh] Ramen crema.
- Sounds like somebody you went to high school with.
Yeah, Ramen Crema was a really good friend of mine.
- [Josh] She's doing great. She's making it work.
- Ramen crema.
When you say tortilla,
are you saying that the noodles are just
on top of it or the noodles are inside of it?
- [Josh] Well, so what we did is we took raw tortilla dough
and then we layered noodles
across that folded and deep fried it.
- [Link] It's going to be real crunchy.
- [Josh] Oh yeah.
(ramen crunching)
- Ooh.
- It feels dangerous to eat.
- Which is good.
- Man, so crunchy. - I can sell danger,
and if you go deeper, you get some more of that pork.
(Link groaning)
- It tastes incredible, the texture is incredible.
- Am I bleeding anywhere?
- I think that's just crema.
Is that blood or crema?
Do you bleed crema?
- I hope not.
- That's like something you say
like that's something that people at culinary school say.
- I bleed crema. - I bleed crema.
Is that a funny culinary school joke?
- [Josh] It is. I have that tattooed on me actually.
- I don't know culinary school humor.
I just saw Nicole like just shaking her head
like no, no, no, never, never would we say that.
(group laughing)
- Once you get to that pork, it's some good tasting.
- But the real test, here's the real test though.
The best part of ramen is the slurpability.
- Oh.
- You're making a little bit of a mess.
And I just want to know what happens
if you suck as hard as you possibly can on this thing?
- You're gearing up for it.
- Could you tell me godspeed because I feel
like I might suck a noodle in
and you might have to do some sort of CPR.
- Godspeed.
(group laughing)
(lips vibrating)
- [Link] Toke it man.
(Rhett coughs)
- All right, I got pork air. I got mostly pork air.
- [Josh] Pork air's a thing you'd make in culinary school.
That's like, see Nicole laugh at that one.
(group laughing)
- Now pork air is what,
is when culinary school students do parkour.
(group laughing)
I got some pork air.
- Really guys?
- See, I'm learning the culinary school language.
- What they like.
Well if you're getting on the good side.
- [Rhett] I love 'em.
- I think I'm gonna get on their bad side
because I think with no slurpability at all.
- And I tried real hard.
- As good as it tastes and as dangerously crunchy as it is,
I think we've got to say without the slurp it don't work.
- [Rhett] Ramen, will it taquito?
- [Hosts] No. (buzzer ringing)
- Before we continue, we want to let you know real quick
that we're super excited to announce a very special project
that we've been working on
with our friends at Q Code and Wood Elf,
a new scripted podcast
that we're starring in called Ronstadt.
- Yeah that's right, we said scripted podcast.
This is a whole other genre
of storytelling that now is very immersive
and we have immersed ourselves into it,
and you can immerse yourself into it by listening to it.
- Your ears.
- Very excited.
Ronstadt is a supernatural noir comedy set
on the mean streets of LA about a 911 dispatcher Ronstadt
who's played by Rhett.
- Hello.
- Whose night job along
with his self-described craydar leads him deep into Side B,
which is a world filled with magic, monsters,
and all things mythical.
- Check out the trailer for Ronstadt on Spotify,
Apple Podcast, wherever you get your podcasts,
and be sure you follow so you don't miss it
when the episode, the first two episodes drop.
For more information, come over to, hey.
- Come on over guys. - Come over
to mythical.com/ronstadt.
- Ronstadt, there's a D in there.
- Ronstadt.
All right, ever since they first opened their doors in 1956,
Jersey Mike's has claimed to be a sub above,
but will a taquito made out
of Jersey Mike's menu be subpar or subperb?
Please give a warm Jersey welcome to taquito Mikes.
All right Josh, what have you done here?
- [Josh] Well, so instead of a tortilla,
we're starting with a large sheet
of provolone cheese that we have rolled salami-
- Now before you take it off that, we gotta-
- Okay I'm just pinching it. Can I pinch it?
- [Josh] And then on top of that,
we got some lettuce, some tomatoes, some red onion,
and then if you want to make it Mike's way.
- Right, that was what I was waiting on.
Make it Mike's way y'all.
You got some oil and vinegar.
- I always go Mike's way.
- Okay I'm getting back for this.
- [Link] What are you? You're afraid that I'm...
- Yeah I mean, you got something that squirts liquid.
I'm stepping back.
- I always ask for extra Mike's way.
- And what about this, some oregano?
- [Link] I love that.
- Okay so Josh, I mean it's hard not to just believe
that this is a cheese roll-up, but you know what.
- [Josh] I don't understand. That seems accusatory.
- No but I mean, I don't have a problem
with a cheese roll-up.
- What is going on here?
Yeah it definitely looks like a cheese roll-up.
It looks like something from close-up.
- [Josh] But does it taste like one?
- I would make for myself, you know,
in middle school. - Let's decide.
Dink it and sink it.
Wow, that is a cheese roll-up.
(group laughing)
- I don't know if you can imagine for a second
if you were to take cheese and you would roll it up
and inside of it you would put deli meats.
- Yeah.
- Can your mind go there?
Hey, it's really good.
- But now that we're here.
- [Josh] You know how long it took
to make crab cake tortillas?
You gotta cut corners somewhere, all right.
- Okay my favorite thing about Jersey Mike's,
I love the subs but the best thing is the slicing machine.
So I've got a knife here.
I'm ready.
Stick your taquito out and see if we can get it.
- I mean, don't we have to put it on the table or something?
- There we go. There we go. There we go. Look at that.
We sliced it right open and look what's inside.
Meat.
(group laughing)
I mean, that's a surprise.
- It seems like what you would expect to find inside
of a cheese roll-up.
Jersey Mike's, will it taquito?
- [Hosts] No. (buzzer ringing)
- Edible arrangements, not a sponsor,
is a great way to send someone you kind of know a little
something to show that you kind of care a little bit,
you know, but would it be a total game changer
if you could send taquito-fied edible arrangements?
This is edible taquitos.
Josh, how did you?
- Oh wow look at that.
It's got some motion in its ocean.
- How did you arrange this?
- Little boingy in its toungy.
- [Josh] We've arranged it taquitos three.
You'll see the chocolate-covered taquitos
are filled with strawberry,
and then there is the ones with the pineapple,
or the ones with the chocolate
and sour cream drizzle has pineapple in it.
And then the plain tortillas are filled with honeydew,
and no one's going to eat those.
- Yeah yeah, you leave the honeydew out,
and you just let it, you know, you let it rot.
- I like honeydew.
- But is anybody on the same page
when it comes to edible arrangements that I'm on,
which is if you receive one, you're a little embarrassed?
I don't know what it is, it's just like.
- You have to feign gratitude.
- There's like, I don't know,
there's something a little embarrassing about giving
and receiving edible arrangements
because there's something embarrassing
about just beginning to pick at something like that
that's just kinda food that's just kind of out
and you just start eating.
Am I wrong about this?
- [Josh] Yeah you're dead wrong.
When I was 11 years old,
my Nana sent us an edible arrangement
and I ate the whole thing before my family got home.
And then I threw it in the dumpster out back
and then denied everything
and said that it never came to our house.
I love 'em.
- Oh wow.
Now you're coming clean.
- [Josh] Yeah, it was like 150 bucks.
- The first edible arrangement, there's a lot of excitement.
Every subsequent edible arrangement,
it drops off really quickly.
How's that one?
- I've almost eaten the whole thing.
- This is a pineapple one.
- [Stevie] I gotta say it looks so good.
The way Rhett was eating it didn't look as good,
but the amount that he ate.
- This pineapple one is really good.
- This is like a few steps up
from the regular edible arrangement.
I'm gonna try the honeydew.
Oh I did get the honeydew.
I thought this was gonna have pineapple in it.
- Oh I'll tell you, the pineapple is great.
- [Josh] You gotta trick people into eating the honeydew.
- It's very fair foodie, and I like that.
- Okay, I've got to get a pineapple.
Where is it, right here?
- I mean, it looks stupid,
but edible arrangements look pretty cool
and then they don't taste that great.
This is the opposite and I prefer this.
- See but how could I eat this that you would enjoy?
- [Stevie] I was just giving you a hard time,
but you did eat 90% of the first one
as Link was talking without taking a breath.
- Welcome to our lives.
How about if I, should I nibble?
If I nibbled a little bit,
would it be a little bit more easy to watch?
- [Stevie] No. You know what?
I feel like you're making eye contact with me
through the screen and I don't like it.
- You don't like when I look at you bashfully when I eat.
- [Stevie] No (laughs).
- It's just an edible arrangement.
- I mean, it may just be fruit wrapped in a tortilla,
but it's pretty, it's pretty magical.
- I love it.
- It makes me feel a little bashful too.
- Get a little bashful bite.
Edible arrangements, will it taquito?
- [Hosts] Yes. (bell dinging)
- Now I was shocked to find
out that has been over three years
since we last tried to will something with a penis.
- Speak for yourself.
- It seems like a shorter period
of time than that, doesn't it.
- It seems like only yesterday we were willing a penis.
- And I guess in a certain light,
one might mistake a taquito for a penis,
maybe like a low light.
- A very low light.
- Like a very, very low light, maybe from a distance.
I don't really know anymore.
We're calling this one the taquinis.
- Yeah, you know what, let's be proud of this.
We're calling this one the taquinis.
Josh, what did you do?
- [Josh] So we braised some penis.
We stuffed that inside a tortilla.
We rolled it and fried it.
We soaked that in the penis braising liquid
that we're calling penis juice.
We've got some penis de gallo
and then a little bit of a penis crema.
- Penis crema.
- And then you gave me this, what is this?
- [Josh] That is additional penis crema.
If you want squeeze some penis cream on there, go ahead.
- It looks like there's plenty of penis cream on here.
I mean.
- [Josh] I don't know how much cream you like.
- [Rhett] What kind of penis is it?
- [Josh] A 100% grass-fed beef.
The penis only ate grass.
- Okay right, okay.
(Link laughs)
- That's nasty.
- [Stevie] Please do not look at me.
(group laughing)
- I'm going to be so bashful when I eat this
in front of you, Stevie.
- I feel like I want to eat from the middle.
- Okay, you wanna go to Jersey Mike's here?
- Cause the end is just, you know,
you don't really get to the meat of it until it's too late.
- I want to just cut right through all of them
but there's really no reason to do that.
I can just cut one.
And that makes one.
Oh, you're going for the guac penis.
- I'm just grabbing a half.
- Oh gosh.
- [Josh] It's slippery.
- It's a slippery penis.
- I'm nervous.
- Sometimes when you're touching, you know,
a foreign penis for the first time,
it will just poof, it will slip right out of your hands.
- Outside of this show,
is there any reason for this to exist?
- Well isn't that what we're trying to figure out right now?
- I just, I can't tell,
and if you order this at a restaurant
and found a pube in it,
would you have any right to complain?
- Well, I think if you found a pube,
you would be very worried
because I don't think bulls have pubes.
- Sure.
- I mean, they look different.
- That's a good mythical more. Let's save it.
- Can you select a bull pube from like a boy pube?
- Did you eat one of these?
- [Josh] What? Oh no, I filled up on the Ruth's Chris ones.
I'm not hungry, I'm fine.
- Okay Stevie look away.
- Dink it and bashfully sink it.
- Oh it's soggier than I wanted it to be.
- Yeah, why is it so soggy?
- [Josh] Penis juice.
- Aww.
- The consistency is not good for me.
- It's very gelatinous,
but the fact that you cubed it or whatever you did,
and I didn't have to like grab onto a penis
and pull and then stretch right out of the tortilla,
it would have been very difficult to do that
and still be bashful.
If I was like tugging on a penis.
- [Josh] Yeah yeah.
(Link laughing)
- I gotta say, it is hard to swallow them.
- Yeah, try and get it down.
- [Josh] It's more about enthusiasm.
- Down boy.
- But you know what, I will swallow.
- Ah.
- Yeah, there we go.
- Better soft than crispy in this instance.
(Link shudders)
- Well you were asking if there was any reason for this
to exist outside of this show.
- I can't think of one.
- Yeah, I just searched deep in my soul and found nothing.
- Penis, will it taquito?
- [Hosts] No. (buzzer ringing)
- But boy we thought for a second it could.
- We tried.
I mean, as much penis cream as I've had in my life,
I gotta say it wasn't enough to pull this one out for me.
- Thanks for subscribing and clicking that bell.
- You know what time it is.
- I'm Jen.
- And I'm Justin.
And we're asking the age-old question.
- Will it road?
- But first.
- [Both] It's time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality.
(Rhett laughs)
- Will it road?
- You gotta take opportunities like that and y'all did.
Click the top link to watch us debate
which snacks are the best to serve at a divorce hearing
and a funeral and other events,
and to meet Link's new dog Jasper,
and Good Mythical More.
- And to find out
where the Wheel of Mythicality is going to land.
Check out the trailer
for a new scripted podcast we're starring in called Ronstadt
on Spotify, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcast,
and be sure to follow us so you don't miss an episode.