I THANK YOU FOR JOINING US ON
ONE OF THE MOST HISTORIC AND
IMPORTANT DATES IN THE HISTORY
OF THE UNITED STATES.
MY BIRTHDAY.
THANK YOU.
I DON'T LOVE MY BIRTHDAY I IT'S
NOT A BIG THING FOR ME.
BUT I WILL SAY THIS, I GOT
EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED THIS YEAR.
>> GOOD MORNING, EVERYONE.
THIS IS THE FIRST OF A SERIES OF
PUBLIC MEETINGS THE HOUSE WILL
BE HOLDING IN AN IMPEACHMENT
INQUIRY.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT, I TURN
ON THE TELEVISION AND THERE IT
WAS.
THE IMPEACHMENT HEARING.
WE GOT TESTIMONY FROM BILL
TAYLOR, THE TOP DIPLOMAT FOR THE
UKRAINE.
THEY DID NOT PAINT A FLATTERING
PORTRAIT OF OUR PRESIDENT AND
HIS BOOT LICKERS IN THE HOUSE
DIDN'T LOOK TOO GOOD EITHER,
DEVIN NUNES OPENED THE SHOW FOR
HIS PARTY.
IT WAS OBVIOUS RIGHT OFF THE BAT
THAT HE WAS MUCH MORE INTERESTED
IN DEFENDING THE PRESIDENT THAN
IN GETTING THE FACTS.
>> NOW I RECOGNIZE RANKING
MEMBER NUNEZ.
>> IN A JULY PUBLICATION OF THE
MUELLER REPORT, THE DEMOCRATS
ENGAGED IN A LAST DITCH EFFORT
TO CONVINCE THE AMERICAN PEOPLE
THAT PRESIDENT TRUMP IS A
RUSSIAN AGENT.
>> Jimmy: GOT SOME NEW
MERCHANDISE I GUESS.
DEVIN NUNES SET THE STUPID BAR
TO SET IT OFF.
THEN JOHN RATCLIFFE TOPPED IT
MEETLY.
THEN CHRIS STEWART.
BUT JUST WHEN YOU THINK WE'VE
REACHED THE BOTTOM LEVEL OF
HUMAN INTELLIGENCE, IN COMES JIM
JORDAN FROM OHIO TO TAKE GOLD.
PEOPLE WERE ACTUALLY LAUGHING AT
HIM DURING THE HEARING.
THERE HE IS, SPORTING HIS QUID
PRO COMBOVER.
EACH ATTORNEY HAD A LIST OF
QUESTIONS.
THEY BROUGHT IN A LAWYER NAMED
STEVE CASTER.
SINCE HE COULDN'T ASK ABOUT THE
FACTS, ALL HE WAS LEFT WITH WAS
TRYING TO GET BILL TAYLOR TO SAY
THAT SENDING RUDY GIULIANI TO
UKRAINE TO SHAKEDOWN THEIR
GOVERNMENT ISN'T SUCH AN OUTLAND
ISH THING FOR THE GOVERNMENT TO
DO.
>> THE DISCUSSION OF THE
IRREGULAR CHANNEL YOU DESCRIBED.
AND, IN FAIRNESS, THIS IRREGULAR
CHANNEL OF DIPLOMACY, IT'S NOT
AS OUTLANDISH AS IT COULD BE.
IS THAT CORRECT?
>> IT'S NOT AS OUTLANDISH AS IT
COULD BE.
I AGREE.
>> Jimmy: IN OTHER WORDS, IT
COULD HAVE BEEN MORE OUTLANDISH.
[ APPLAUSE ]
FOR INSTANCE, INSTEAD OF RUDY
GIULIANI, TRUMP SENT GARY BUSEY
TO UKRAINE, THAT WOULD BE MORE
OUTLANDISH.
WE DID GET SOME NEW McNUGGETS OF
INFORMATION.
BILL TAYLOR SAID A MEMBER OF HIS
STAFF WAS THERE WHEN GORDON
SONDLAND CALLED THE PRESIDENT.
HE SAID HE OVERHEARD THE CALL IN
WHICH TRUMP SPECIFICALLY ASKED
ABOUT THE INVESTIGATION AND
AFTER THAT CALL SONDLAND TOLD
THEM TRUMP CARES MORE ABOUT
INVESTI
INVESTIGATING BIDEN MORE THAN
UKRAINE.
ILLEGALITY ASIDE, THIS IS THE
DUMBEST PLAN EVER.
SO AMBASSADOR SONDLAND TRIED TO
EXPLAIN THIS TO THE GROUP AS IF
IT WAS A NORMAL THING IN THE
WORLD OF BUSINESS.
>> AMBASSADOR SONDLAND TRIED TO
EXPLAIN TO ME THAT PRESIDENT
TRUMP IS A BUSINESSMAN.
WHEN A BUSINESSMAN IS ABOUT TO
SIGN A CHECK TO SOMEONE WHO OWNS
HIM SOMETHING THE BUSINESSMAN
ASKS THAT PERSON TO PAY UP
BEFORE SIGNING THE CHECK.
MR. VOLKER USED THE SAME
LANGUAGE EARLIER AT THEI Y
YALTA CONFERENCE.
I EXPLAINED IT MADE NO SENSE.
>> Jimmy: IT DOES MAKE NO SENSE.
WHEN HAS DONALD TRUMP EVER PAID
UP FOR ANYTHING.
THIS IS A STRESSFUL DAY FOR THE
PRESIDENT.
THE POPEYE'S NEAR THE WHITE
HOUSE, THEY HAD TO WAIVE THEIR
TWO CHICKEN SANDWICHES PER
PERSON LIMIT TODAY FOR HIM.
THE PRESIDENT CALLED THE HEARING
A JOKE, A SHAM AND HOAX AND SAID
HE DIDN'T WATCH T WHITE HOUSE
SPOKESPERSON SAID THE PRESIDENT
WAS TOO BUSY WORKING.
THEY MIGHT AS WELL HAVE SAID HE
WAS AT A ZUMBA CLASS.
TRUMP SAID HE DIDN'T WATCH A
MINUTE OF THE HEARING, BUT THIS
EXCLUSIVE FOOTAGE OBTAINED
INSIDE THE PRESIDENT'S PRIVATE
QUARTERS SAYS OTHERWISE.
♪
>> FOLLOWING THE CALL WITH
PRESIDENT TRUMP, THE MEMBER OF
MY STAFF ASKED AMBASSADOR SOPD
LAND WHAT PRESIDENT TRUMP
THOUGHT ABOUT UKRAINE.
AMBASSADOR SONDLAND SAID
PRESIDENT TRUMP CARES MORE ABOUT
THE HE INVESTIGATIONS OF BIDEN,
WHICH PRESIDENT TRUMP WAS
PRESSING FOR.
>> EVERYTHING OKAY IN HERE?
>> CHICKEN, MORE CHICKEN!
>> EXTRA CRISPY, SIR?
>> EXTRA CRISPY, YOU IDIOT.
>> YES, MR. PRESIDENT.
>> Jimmy: THROW POTATO SKINS IN
THERE TO BE SAFE E A.
HE WAS TWEETING AND RETWEETING
ALL OF THESE THINGS FROM RIGHT
WING TWITTER FEEDS.
IN BETWEEN HOSTING ONE OF HIS
FAVORITE FOREIGN STRONG MEN,
TURKISH PRESIDENT ERDOGAN.
PRESIDENT TRUMP SAID HE'S A BIG
FAN OF ERDOGAN WHO NOTABLY LAST
MONTH SLAUGHTERED OUR ALLIES THE
KURDS.
SENATORS FROM BOTH SIDES URGED
HIM TO RESCIND THE INVITATION,
BUT HE SAID HE WAS A GOOD
FRIEND.
THE WAY HE TREATS THE PRESIDENT
OF TURKEY, YOU WOULD THINK HE
WAS THE PRESIDENT OF FRIED
CHICKEN.
NEW ROUND OF TESTIMONY FRIDAY