Oh yes. You're comparing yourself to other human beings. How's this working out
for you?
Probably not so good.
This is a good place for you to be. My name is
Kris Krohn with Limitless TV and today we're going to talk about how we can
help you rid yourself of this really horrible habit I'm comparing yourself to
other people!
So
you got it bad right?
The sin of comparison.
Worrying about the judgment
of others. What do other people think of me? and how do I get over this? how do I
stop comparing myself to other people?
First of all,
Check in on this.
If this is something you do you might be a people pleaser.
Now it's a label but you know
what a people pleaser is right?
people please are somebody that feels a need in
a desire to be recognized by others by making others happy. Doing things that
would put smiles in other people's faces. Wanting to come across pleasing, kind,
nice, always with tact and politically correct.
I Got News for you, if that's true
for you, you're a big liar.
People pleasers are liars.
I know, take it from one of the biggest ex people pleasers there was. I didn't
really believe it that way and see it that way but I could dishonor myself so
easily for the pleasure or happiness of somebody else. The first step in fact I
got a massive piece of advice that is coming your way in this next segment but
I want to break this down for you.
I didn't become aware of this until I had
a really unfortunate circumstance. There was a person in my life who I viewed as
a mentor. They had taught me many things from a very spiritual perspective of how
to see the world and they were having a huge impact on who I was becoming as a
human being.
And over the course of the years that we spent time together, at one
point I invited this person's husband to come and work for me. And this individual
didn't have a have a job or work and when I hired them, they stepped into a
higher financial status but it was kind of feast and famine. Sometimes it was
really big and some months there was no money and then there was $10,000 and it
was really kind of up and down and I really didn't know what was going on in
my mentors mind until one day I got a letter from her. And there was so much
financial scarcity and so much anger and frustration over the financial setup
that she wrote a really scathing letter. And in it she said a lot of things that
hurt.
Things that I couldn't reconcile. I was comparing myself to this
the image of this person that, that she was raising and bringing up and I was so
angry. I was so frustrated. I was so sad. I cried. And this moment I was kind of in a
funk for six months. I pull off the letter and my wife and I would spend our
time because we disconnected from this from this once truly good friend and
mentor and we would spend a time talking about it and trying to reconcile this until
one day I realized with the help of a mentor,
that I was a people pleaser.
And I
started taking accountability for looking at the element of truth in every
statement that hurt me in that letter. And I realized that this mentor was
actually a great teacher teaching me many wonderful good things. I became very
grateful to this person for their moment of honesty and feedback even though it
hurt at the time.
And I decided what I learned from this was I needed to stop
being a people pleaser. I needed to become true to my highest and myself. I
needed to learn how to honor myself instead of just always trying to honor
others and sacrificial lamb throwing my own wants and needs in life under the
bus.
Is this something that you do? because when you're comparing yourself
to other people and it hurts, and it doesn't feel good,
are you ever going to
find happiness in doing that?
Listen you're always going to find someone
smarter than you in one area of life where you're naturally just less smart
than other people. You're going to, you're going to see very attractive and
pretty people in the world and if you compare yourself to others and use that
as a weapon to weaponize it and bring yourself down or relationally aggress,
aggressively lash out at other people you're going to become in time one of
the worst kind of people I do not like to spend time with.
Crotchety
you become
a crotchety human being. An unhappy human being. That's what ultimately it happens
when you're comparing yourself to other people as if other people in the
comparison of that could even tell you who you are.
I want to share with you peace advice I got from reading a book that helped me
truly transform from comparing myself to others and learning how to simply love
and honor everyone else where they were at and
loving and honoring me with where I was.
So years ago, I've read a book by a
woman named Katie Byron called loving what is. And what I loved about this book
is it shared one simple idea. And I think this is one of the most powerful ideas
to help break free of this this idea of judgment and comparing yourself to other
people and am I measuring up.
And the idea that Katie shared was really simple
it says, in life there is your business, my business, and God's business.
And any time you are in somebody else's business meaning their business or God's business,
that's when you're not living anymore. That's when you're living somebody
else's life. And you know what? your life was given to you for you to live. Stay in
your business. Comparison is found outside of your business. Comparison is
actually an expression of not just judging you but also judging others and
I really am not sure what there is to truly gain from it so my invitation is
to is to let go and learn how to set up a very healthy boundary system. The
boundary system says, I'm not going to get in God's business and I'm not going to
get in your business I'm going to stay in my business because this is my life.
Any time you find yourself in judgment you're simply in somebody else's
airspace. You're in their bubble, you're in their business. And so just get used
to living your life and what you might want to do is um you could put a little
reminder on your wrist there that just you just get to remind yourself the
moment I step into judgment it's give myself a little snap and remind myself,
be in my business.
I'm in my business.
there's one last thing I want to share,
the Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis. He wrote this book he didn't want to write
it he felt really inspired and compelled by inspiration that he needed
to write this book. And it's the story of you know, if there's a god and he has his
angels then this book is written from the perspective of the devil and his
angels. And it's done kind of an acutesy not so dark format. And the point that it
makes is that there's this this higher level devil that is serving in Satan's
government and he's constantly berating his nephew for not doing that great as a
tempter for the human being that he's me to watch over.
And at one point, his
nephew really boches it with his human and lets his human make good choices and
he's reading them and basically he says, how could you have got allowed your
human to become present?
You need to keep them in the past. You need to be giving
them thoughts and ideas and reminding them of everything that hasn't been and
and keep them in the past because there's no power in the past. But if you
fail at that you idiot more more or less then you've got to put them in the
future.
Put them into the fear of what hasn't happened, what may never happened,
or even fantasizing about what's never going to happen because there's no power
there either.
but whatever you do,
do not let your human become present.
for in the
present is power.
I want you to know that when you're in someone else's business
there's no power.
You're not really living. You're not really taking
advantage of this life that you've been given. So create a new habit and the new
habit is is that you get to acknowledge yourself,
you get to recognize yourself, and you don't need judgment in comparison to do
that. You today and this moment get to choose to rise above that so that you
just step more powerfully into your own present life making amazing good choices
and honoring who you are.
I hope this video helped you today.
If you feel like
you need even more help, if you feel like you're ready for next steps, I got some
really big advice for you. If you want to experience truly a massive
transformation, come hang out with me and my team for three days at our event
called limitless. We do it every single month. You're going to find a link below
and I'm going to tell you something right now, we're going to help rid you of
some of the habits like judgment and comparison that are holding you back in
life to really discover your inner genius. Figure out how incredible and
amazing you truly are. Because the sooner you stop living in everyone else's
business and then the sooner you start taking your life as the business of you
and living it seriously and powerfully and with all the fun, I'll tell you what,
your stars are going to change. Your destiny is going to change. So come
click the link below, spend three days at limitless and experience the magic of a
life-changing experience.