-You just did a fundraiser for public housing
here in New York City, which is fantastic.
-I did, I did. Thank you. -A stand-up show...
-They weren't that impressed, but...
[ Cheers and applause ] -It was very cool, yeah.
A lot of people -- Schumer came out,
Jeff Ross, Michelle wolf. It was awesome.
-And you raised over 100 grand, which is fantastic.
-We did, yeah. [ Cheers and applause ]
We raised it. -"We raised it."
And this is -- And it was --
It's the public housing you grew up in, yes?
-That's true. I grew up in public housing.
So this is -- That's the thing I did for them.
And now I'm never gonna do anything else.
[ Laughter ]
-You more than made up for it.
Jost, you did a charity event last year.
What did you do? -We did it together.
-Okay. -For Puerto Rico.
-Right, he also came and did mine, as well.
It was very fun and nice of you to do.
-So you raised some money for Puerto Rico.
-We raised, like, 100 grand for Puerto Rico last year,
'cause after the hurricane, we did gringo bingo together.
[ Laughter ] Hosted bingo.
Realized we do not know how to do bingo.
-Okay, gotcha. -Harder than it looks.
-Really? -We raised a lot of money,
and then Che always says
that he thinks I'm doing it for Puerto Rico,
because I have a second family in Puerto Rico.
-Oh, gotcha. -Yeah, so...
-Yeah, you're always in Puerto Rico.
And I just find that to be odd. [ Laughter ]
-But you do like Puerto Rico. -I love it.
-So it's very nice that you would do that.
-Yeah, it was fun. It was fun to do.
The same for Che's event. It's like, anyone...
You want to hang out anyway, so you might as well do it
and do something fun that actually helps people.
-Yeah. -Versus just getting paid.
-I really wanted to help out public housing,
because there's a good chance
I'm gonna say something really bad
and then I'm gonna have to live there again, so...
[ Laughter ]
-So you're gonna get, like --
You're gonna get one of the nice ones now.
Guys, I want to ask about this.
So, Che, you went on Instagram and wrote this post about Jost.
-Well, yeah. Well, yes, I did. I did.
And you know -- Yeah. You want to read it?
[ Laughter ]
-Let me explain, by the way, what I --
I don't go on Instagram,
but I get e-mails from friends that are like,
"Do you see what Che is saying about you on Instagram?"
And I'm like, "What,
is it something kind of fun and goofy?"
And they're like, "You should take a look."
[ Laughter ] -Here's what it looks like.
I'm gonna show you guys real quick,
then I'm gonna read it.
"The thing that burns me up the most about Colin is
that deep down inside, I think he's a nice guy,
but he hides behind this cool-guy persona
that makes him push me down and make fun of my hair
and put dog food in my lunch and gum in my chair
and prank-call my parents
to make them think I was in a terrible car accident
and rip up my paychecks
and plant hard drugs in my desk and tip off the police.
And that gets so annoying."
[ Laughter and applause ]
Now... [ Cheers and applause ]
Now, I think most -- most people...
-Planted hard drugs in your desk,
and your response would be, like, "Annoying"?
-Most people would think that's a joke,
but not everybody. -Not everybody, no.
-Yeah, so, then somebody wrote to you --
-To me, oh, yeah. -So, this is to him, right?
-They wrote to Che, first. -Yeah, "What a disgusting man.
So sorry you have to work with him.
It's a shame he can't even try to be decent for a day
to help people. He's a monster."
And then you, instead of saying, "Oh, man, he's my pal.
Just joking around," wrote back,
"I just got to get through this season in one piece."
[ Laughter ]
"Sometimes he attacks me physically."
[ Laughter and applause ]
-You're -- You're joking.
You're gonna actually get me murdered.
Someone is going to murder me. -What's this one?
-Maybe you should stop pushing me down.
[ Laughter ] -Did you fake a text exchange?
-Oh, yeah, Colin text-- Colin texted me.
-What?! -I asked him to.
-You faked my own text messages.
-All right, how about you --
I'll read mine and you read yours, okay?
I'll be blue. -See if this seems like me.
-"Hey, Colin, I know you're busy and all,
but could you help me with my charity show
for the people in public housing?"
-"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Fat chance, loser."
[ Laughter ] Don't those bunnies have enough
without sucking from our government's teat?"
[ Audience groans ] -"Oh, Colin.
That's really unnecessary, man."
-"You're unnecessary, and my grandpapa
is gonna shut down your little charity,
just like Mr. Trump shut down the government."
[ Laughter ]
-"That is uncalled-for."
[ Laughter ]
-Do you want me to read the last one?
-Yeah, there's one more that you sent me.
-"Yeah, besides, I have my own charity event.
It's to take children in private schools
big-game hunting in Africa." [ Laughter ]
-You're, uh... [ Cheers and applause ]
-You're gonna get me --
-Somebody wrote back to Che, "Didn't think
this piece of [Bleep] could make me that mad, but he did."
And then you wrote back, "I don't know what to do.
Every time I try to stand up to him,
he just pushes me on the ground."
[ Laughter ]
"And everybody laughs."
I got to say, a lot of -- you know, just know
that whoever does eventually come and assault you,
based on this, know they're dumb.
[ Laughter ]