Has it ever happened to you?
That you walk into a room and you see this person extremely
attractive, extremely charismatic, and very, very positive energy.
The very confident people.
The communication skills are strong.
Their English is very, very fluent, but what sets them aside
is certain strategies that they use in their communication skills.
They're not just good speakers.
They're very, very smart conversationlists as well.
Ladies and gentlemen, if you are an introvert and if you want to be a great
communicator, then this lesson is for you.
This lesson is all about 10 conversation strategies to speak
like James Bond for introverts.
So if you want to be that confident communicator, this lesson is for you.
First of all, let's understand why learning conversation
strategies is important.
We are all aware of the fact that good English is very, I.
But you may be a very fluent speaker, but you may not be that
charismatic, confident person.
And that is because communication skills are very different
from just speaking English.
And therefore, in this lesson today, we understand Wildt
speaking English fluently.
What are some of the conversation strategies you should keep in
mind to be able to become that James Bond of your own person?
So let's get started with tip number one, and that is embrace your inner James Bond.
James Bond is very famous for confidence and a very, very charismatic personality.
Let's look at certain steps that we can do in order to embrace that inner James Bond.
In us, the first one is be the one to lead the conversation.
Have you ever seen that people get attracted towards those people who start
the conversation, who first say hi.
So if you walk into a room, you are the first one to say hi to everybody and
not wait for somebody else to say hi.
If you follow this very important strategy, you'll be able to embrace that
confidence and James Bond inside of you.
Number.
A simple and confident.
Hi in a group can charm the people around you.
Like the way I said before, a lot of times the only thing that you want in
a group of people while standing, or, you know, being in a group is just
making sure that you are the first one to say hi, that in itself brings a
huge difference than the other person.
Other people in the group are just being quiet and making the environment.
And another thing is start a small talk with the closest person to you.
Imagine the room is full of strangers and there's a stranger standing beside you be
the first person to say hi to the person.
Hello and be the first person to start the conversation on any given topic
related to the social context within that scenario, it could be about whether it
could be about complimenting clothes.
It could be about, uh, you know, talking about the person who
has hosted the party, et cetera.
The next one, and that is avoid boring, classy opening lines.
What do you mean by that?
Boring, classy opening lines.
A lot of times when people start the conversation, they just have
very simple things to say, how are you, how they et cetera, et cetera.
But you can start the conversation with a very interesting statement.
As a matter of fact, as we said before, it can be a compliment.
It can be a very intriguing question.
For example, asking somebody, have you come to this party for the first time?
It could be complimenting the music.
I really like the music.
What genre?
Asking the person such questions would really make you break what the
boring statements and opening lines that people are usually, uh, used to.
This was tip number one, tip number two is reduce anxiety
and tell yourself the following.
It's important that you tell yourself that you are good.
There are certain things that I've written here that will help.
To make sure that we feel confident in all such situations.
Number one is what's the worst that can happen.
If people don't like me.
It's a very important question.
Whenever you are in a social setting, ask this question to you.
If you say hi to somebody, what's the worst that can happen.
They may not continue the conversation, but they will still say hi.
People not will not be even that rude.
Number two.
The labels don't define me.
I'm an interesting worthy person with a lot to contribute your color,
your background, your sexuality, your education, nothing defines you.
What defines you as the fact that you think of yourself as an
interesting person who is worthy?
A person who has a lot to contribute to society in a positive way.
If you say these, if you affirm these sentences, you'll intrinsically
feel very, very motivated and you'll radiate a lot of confidence out of you.
And finally tell yourself just because something happened in the
bust doesn't mean it will happen.
Very important sentence.
Lot of times people carry traumas of their past or, and the bad
experiences that they've gone through because of those bad experiences.
I'm not gonna continue the cycle of bad events and impact my personality.
I'm gonna make sure that I welcome every new experience with a lot
of positivity and not let my past experiences define my person.
This was number two, number three is deepen the conversation.
A lot of times conversations are often platonic, which basically
mean they start with hello high and they end with hello high, but
it's important that you deepen it.
How can you do that?
Let's look at it.
Ask open open-ended questions.
That sparker discussions, such as open-ended questions.
First of all, let's understand from here mean.
questions that let the person speak more than just a yes or a no, for example, do
you like coffee is a yes or a no question, but what kind of coffee do you like?
A latte, a cappuccino, a Marto, or a espresso?
All of these.
Different types of questions are basically letting the person speak beyond.
Yes and no.
So ask open-ended questions such as what do you do?
For example, you're a linguist or an entrepreneur followed by a question.
How did you enter the profession?
So in this particular question, the person would have to speak a little more
and strike the conversation with you.
And therefore the conversation is becoming deeper.
Another example is where are you?
You've asked this simple question followed by how is it different from
the city that you today live in such que such types of questions, deepen
the conversation and make it richer.
You get to know the person and the conversation becomes very interesting.
So tip number three is deep in the conversation.
Whenever you talk to people, tip number four is.
Talk like a person, not an expert.
Can I share a very interesting story with you?
I used to have an uncle that used to show whenever he used to come to our
house, he would show that he's an expert.
At everything, be it odds, beat it, music beat it, mathematics everything he used
to show as though he was the expert at it.
And to be honest, I never liked him because I could never connect with him
because I was a simple boy who just had limited information about things.
Therefore it's a live example.
And we can understand the fact that avoid fancy words and
a lot of technical jargons.
Now, a lot of people may say, you keep on teaching fancy words, and
now you're saying avoid using them.
Know what we try to, what we are trying to say here is avoid technical jargons
as much as possible, or use them in a limited pattern, which basically means.
Using too much of language that belong to a particular industry that people
may not be able to relate with is what is meant by technical jargons.
Use the language that people are able to relate to and are able
to understand reflect on your own speaking and communication skills.
Always make people feel comfortable around you.
It is a super duper interesting tip.
Make sure that your communication.
Are resonating with the person that you're speaking.
And most importantly, always always have an agenda at the back of your head that no
matter what you do, your agenda is to make this person feel comfortable around you.
And this was one of the most important lessons that my dad taught me.
And that is no matter what you do, and wherever you go, make sure
people feel comfortable around.
and therefore you'll be able to embrace that confidence in you and people
would feel absolutely loved around you.
And they'd always want to be with you.
This was step number four, number five, a make it about them, not you.
If you show interest in people, people would always want to be with you because
they feel they would feel that there's somebody who's always there to listen.
So take the attention off yourself, let people talk about themselves
and be a genuine listener.
I've seen a lot of times people do listen and the attempt at being a good listener,
but they're just hearing the conversation.
They're not listening it.
So the most important thing is being a genuine in the convers.
People are flattered when you find them appealing and they naturally reciprocate
people love it when you show interest in listening to them and therefore
they reciprocate by being a good listener and listening to you because
it is a completely psychological gain.
If you portray a character, a so certain character, a certain
manner, people reciprocate it to you by exactly being that.
So if you're sweet, people are sweet.
If you're polite, people are polite.
If you're rude, people are in fact rude and finally ask them about their jobs,
their passion, their achievements, et cetera, making sure that the
conversation is about them in return.
They're gonna be asking all of these information about you as well.
Whilst they speak you are a genuine listener.
Dip.
Number six is raise famous moments from the.
In any conversation.
If you talk about facts all the time, it doesn't work.
But if you talk about past experiences that possibly both the listener and
the speaker are aware of, or have a little bit of context of from the
past, the conversation becomes more meaningful, bring an experience or
news or event from the past that people find easier to connect with
any conversation becomes interest.
When you're able to connect it with a past event, for example, something happened
today, elections are going on, but you talk about an event of 1974, perhaps.
I'm just giving you an example off the top of my head.
If two people are aware of the, of the election elections that in fact
happened in 1974, I think that's too long back, but let's say 2010.
So they always have comparisons to make and a good conversation begins.
And therefore, this is an interesting.
Conversation strategy whenever you converse with people, try to
give real life examples that that person that you're talking to may
as well, be able to relate with.
Next, for example, if you're speaking to someone in your age group, it's
important, uh, that we keep the age group in mind, bring up an old television
show that you used to admire as a child.
This strategy is one of the best ones.
basically an example of what we've spoken about, bringing in real life.
Examples of the past events.
Number seven is project confidence.
Make sure that you let the other person feel comfortable around you,
but at the same time, you're in the center of your body and you, you
portray confidence in your personality.
Confidence does not mean this confidence means.
Just being comfortable in your skin, watch videos of people that you find
inspiring behave or act like them.
I always used to watch videos of Barack Obama.
I always found him very, very charming, very, very, he he's
always been a gentleman for me.
And I think partly whenever I behave, I try to imitate his personality.
And therefore, this is something that you can do as well.
Try to find people.
In fact inspire you act like them behave like them.
We are not asking you to become a copy paste version of them, a X, a Xerox
version of them, but we are definitely seeking some sort of inspiration
from their personalities to be able to contribute POS positively to our
own use the 7 38, 50%, 55% rule.
Albert Einstein once suggested this rule.
And do you know what is that allow me to break that rule to you?
This rule means likability depends.
Likability means, uh, the percentage of people liking you.
It depends on these three different numbers.
Listen carefully 7% for what we say, but 55% of how we act and our body language.
Can you imagine that 7%.
Is only what you say and the rest of it is just body language and
how you act basically acting is 55, 50 5% and 38% is body language.
So most of it basically is non-verbal communication.
How you're sitting, how politely you're talking, how you're eating,
how you're standing, how, how comfortably you're treating others
politely are treating others.
All of that, therefore make sure that you use the 7 38 and 55% rule.
The next one is smile with your eyes.
Just look at my face when I smile.
And number two, when I smile in this case in the second one, I'm
raise I'm bra my eyebrows and I'm smiling, not just with my.
But I'm smiling with my eyes.
So there's a huge difference when it comes to smiling with your eyes.
If your face feels and looks pleasant and happy, your conversation partner
will feel relaxed, goes without saying to keep your face open and happy.
There are certain strategies that we can use recall your last vacation, no matter
how, uh, grievous the conversation is.
I mean, you know how boring the conversation.
or you can recall a funny joke or an episode of a funny TV show while talking
with people, conversations can become boring at times, but you've gotta watch
carefully that the speaker is watching.
You can see you.
So as a listener, you can always smile whenever the right opportunity
allows and smile, not just from face, but from your eyes as.
So this was tip number eight, the ninth one is share your mistakes.
It's extremely human to accept that you commit mistakes as well.
You make mistakes too, and that's fine.
Psychological research shows people who accept mistakes are more likable
than those who appear to be perfect.
I don't know why it is so famous and so sought.
Character, the perfect character.
Nobody's perfect.
If you drop a glass, it's absolutely natural.
The room was full of people.
You just say my apologies, everyone, you possibly pick up the glass
and you help the servant or the help who was there around you.
And the situation continues.
We don't have to feel nervous.
Oh my God.
How did that happen?
The cloud burst and.
You committed an error or a mistake after all, we are all just human beings.
It's absolutely all right.
To make mistakes here and there.
What's important is how genuinely you apologize in return.
Next.
It is a sign of being more approachable.
When people see that you commit mistakes and you're able to accept it.
People are naturally drawn to you because they see themselves as defaulters as well.
So when they find default in you, they.
It's very natural and they find it very comfortable to be around
you, let your flaws shine through.
It'll make people like you because they will feel your normal
and human, just like they are.
It's very important if you're not perfect, just accepting the fact that
you're still not there and just making sure that people know it and know the
fact that you're comfortable in your.
And the last tip for the day is practice makes perfect apply.
The techniques mentioned in tips one to nine, and you will see positive
results in your conversation skills.
And finally, don't keep the conversation going no matter what this is.
I think by far the most important tip here, if somebody is not
interested in the conversation, get the cues and quietly walk out of it.
If you continue to stick around, you may as well.
Come across as very cling clingy and cheeky personality.
And therefore it's important that you remain absolutely aware of
where the conversation is going.
The last one is end the conversation politely.
If the person doesn't reciprocate, as we said, Make sure that you put it closure
to the conversation and walk out of it.
If the person is not interested.
And if the person is interested, you know what to do, follow the tips in
one to nine and shine like a star.
This was all about that.
We have in today's lesson.
I hope you enjoyed the lesson and I'll see you soon.