How to be more outgoing and confident?
If you're somebody who wants to take your career to the next level,
and you have frequent meetings with executives and you notice yourself
introverted, you know, little maybe a little bit shy, and you really
do know that it's important for you to have career growth by speaking
up in meetings, then this is the video for you.
I'm going to be sharing with you four truths on how to be outgoing and
confident because there's a lot of information on the internet.
And oftentimes if you're the somebody who's been browsing the
internet, Googling, how do I develop the skillset?
And you're finding that it's not quite helpful.
I still, I am going to try to apply it.
I'm taking notes, but it's still not getting me to the level of
outgoing this that I want to achieve.
Then I want to share with you four truths on how you can understand
what it means to be outgoing and what it means to combine both
outgoing and confidence so that you can achieve it for yourself and
have the meaningful relationships in the workplace.
So take a walk with me and let's talk about this.
So let's talk about what does it mean to be outgoing?
Right?
Outgoing is a characteristic.
It is a human characteristic and it is a trait as well.
Some people describe it as a quality that an individual can have, but
the characteristic of being outgoing means that there is a
characteristic of expressiveness.
There is a habit.
There is an ease with expressiveness self-expression.
It could be expressing of ideas.
It could be expressing complex thoughts or sharing wisdom, but it's,
it is a quality of expressiveness.
Now, when you combine outgoing with confidence, then it means being
able to do so.
Being able to express oneself without being overly concerned about
what other people think, right?
So I want to share with you four truths on how you can achieve that
for yourself, because remember outgoing, this is not necessarily a
skill.
It is a characteristic, but this speaks more towards who you become as
a person, not so much, do I need to develop certain skill sets, but
this is who you become as a person, right?
So these are four truths on how you become confident and also outgoing
as well.
And the first truth, I'm just going to dive in, dive right into it.
Truth number one, the first truth is that you are outgoing in the
areas that are aligned with your highest values.
Let me repeat that again.
You are outgoing in the areas that are already aligned with your
highest values.
Think about this for a moment, meditate on it.
Think about things that are important to you.
Things that you are naturally inspired by things that whenever you are
inspired by them, and you are interested in, you're genuinely inspired
by talking about these things as well, right?
And it could be for you.
It could be, for example, there is a certain genre of movie that you
are very inspired by, or it could be that there's a certain subject
matter or subject area that you are quite inspired by and you
naturally are interested in it.
And you spent a lot of time delving into it, studying it, learning it,
reading about it.
And so on.
You're going to notice that every area in which it is naturally your
highest value, you're also going to be outgoing in it, which means
that you have a degree of expressiveness, which means that you are
able to talk about it.
And you generally like to talk about it, which also means that when
you're around your family and friends, that you tend to bring that
subject up.
So here's the thing.
The principle, the takeaway that you can learn from this is that when
it comes to the quality of outgoingness being outgoing, we all have
it.
And we have it the most in the areas in our highest values, which
means that it's not that you are not outgoing.
That was a double negative.
So let me rephrase that.
You are outgoing.
You have the capability of being outgoing.
In fact, you have been outgoing in certain circumstances around
certain topic areas, and these are more likely aligned with your
highest values.
So this is a mindset shift that you need to make as well in terms of,
you know, oftentimes we are in our career paths and we want, we desire
to take things to the next level.
And we compare ourselves with our colleagues and we're thinking that,
well, I'm not outgoing.
So-and-so is outgoing.
I need to be outgoing, but I'm not outgoing.
So this is a mindset you need to have in terms of, are you, or are you
not outgoing?
Chances are, you're going to notice when you really look do look
harder that you have exhibited the quality, the characteristic of
being outgoing in the areas of your highest values.
Truth, number two, living and leading by your highest values is the
path to confidence, right?
And is both living and leading when you're living it, it means you are
prioritizing your days every day.
That is in alignment with your highest values when you're leading it,
it means in the workplace as an executive or as a senior manager.
And as you're stepping up into greater levels of leadership, you're
leading your teams, you're leading your divisions.
You're leading cross-functional teams in accordance with your highest
values.
When you live and lead that way, it is the path to confidence.
Now you may not start out confident in this journey, but if so long,
the moment you are aligning your activities with your highest values,
it's the path to confidence because if it is aligned with your highest
values, you will naturally be good at it because you were inspired by
what you do.
You love what you do, and you're doing what you love.
Also at the same time, when it's aligned with your highest values, you
will have the attention span to learn it, to discover it, to develop
it as well.
And you will also have the retention to remember the things that you
have studied because it is aligned with your highest value it's
genuinely what you value.
So that's why it is the path to confidence because you will have the
dedication you will have the time, time will pass you by you're
inspired by it as well.
You're enthusiastic about what you are doing and studying and reading
and developing and the skills that are included in it.
So that's why it is the path to confidence.
It is.
And so long as you set goals and objectives that align with it, it is
the path to confident to increasing your probability of achieving it.
Especially the more it is aligned with your highest values.
So living and leading so is what brings confidence.
And when you combine it with truth number one, that's what gives the
combination of outgoing and confidence as well.
So let's move on to the third truth.
Truth number three, expressing your authentic self expands your self
worth.
And when you have self-worth, that is also the path to confidence and
it solidifies your ability to express yourself as well without being
overly concerned about whether the people think.
So, expanding your self confidence, being able to express yourself
within it really is when you are the most empowered.
It's also when you have the most power as well, because guess what,
when you are your authentic self, you don't have a performance to
make.
This is when you are authentic, where you don't feel that you need to
prove yourself.
Where you feel that you don't need to put on personas to pretend to be
somebody you're not.
And also where you don't feel you need to be like someone else or to
per or to imitate someone else or to emulate someone else.
Because you are your true authentic self.
When you are authentic, this is when you truly value you.
And when you value yourself, others value you as well.
This is where you own your value, and you understand the value that
you are putting out there as well.
So that's why it's important when you are really implementing this
truth, right?
Expressing your authentic self.
It really does follow through with the first two truths as well.
So go back and review them truth number one, truth number two, and
this third truth really does follow from that, expressing yourself in
your authentic self.
And here's the thing when it comes to being authentic, the requirement
for being authentic is understanding what are your highest values and
when, especially when it comes to becoming an executive or higher
levels of leadership, it's important to know what your values are
because when you are able to be clear on your own values, it becomes
increasingly easier for you to understand what others value as well.
And one of the most important skills to level up in your leadership
and to become an executive at levels beyond what you, where you are
now.
One of the most important skills is to be able to understand the
higher ups, your colleagues, your managers, the stakeholders, as well,
all these workplace professional relationships, what every
individual's value, because that way, when you have relationships with
them, stakeholders, collaborations, and so on, your communications are
very spot on.
And this is where others can understand the value you have to bring.
Right?
And so one of the biggest mistakes that I see professionals making is
not quite understanding what they truly do value and the same time.
It is very difficult to determining that because this is never taught
in school.
So often we go through life.
When we go through our professional lives, go through our education,
believing that we value a thing, but, and we make decisions according
to that, what our beliefs of what we value only to find out later in
life, that the choices we made earlier on don't quite make sense
anymore, or they don't quite align with who we are, or we're not quite
inspired with where that got us and the result is, and the real
cause is, because we go through life believing we value a thing.
But we don't actually value it.
It's not actually high on our values.
And so if you're somebody and you're listening to this and you realize
you're starting to realize, yes, this is important.
I really do want to an up level, the fulfillment I have in my career
life as well.
And you're wondering how do I then if I understand my own values, how
then can I also appreciate others as well and make sure that there are
no miscommunications?
How can I ensure that my workplace relationships are meaningful as
well?
And you're somebody who values that skill.
Then I invite you to work with me.
Every single week, I have trainings where I teach and coach executives
on how to develop these skills, how to understand what your values are
and how to also appreciate your, the values of others.
And that way you can communicate better.
That way you can have more meaningful relationships.
And that way you can increase your opportunities, just step up in
greater levels of leadership.
So if you want to achieve these results for yourself, then I invite
you to click on the link below this video in the description.
And that is an application for you to just have a discovery call with
either myself or a member of my team.
And this is really to explore whether or not I can truly help you with
what you're looking for and also how this works.
And I'll share with you all of the details on how this works.
And if you are serious about this, then I invite you to work with me,
to be able to coach you, mentor you as well, to develop these skill
sets and also to improve upon your communications and experience
greater levels of fulfillment in your career path.
So click the link below only if you're serious.
And I look forward to working with you on the inside.
And that leads us to truth number four.
And the fourth truth is that an expansive vivid vision creates
clarity of speech, your vision.
So what does expansive vision mean?
Expansive means bigger than your goals.
So here's what I mean by that.
Let's say you want to influence your direct reports.
You lead a team and you have a few people underneath you.
Let's say you lead a team of 10 people.
Those 10 are your direct reports.
If you want to influence your direct reports, you need a division
this, you need a vision, the size of your division, right?
And if you want to influence your community, let's say you have a
community of people that you want to influence.
Then you need a vision, the size of your whole city.
That's how it works.
Your vision is bigger than the group of individuals you want to
influence.
So that's an expansive vision.
So what's a vivid vision?
A vivid vision is one that is crystal clear in your head, you can
envision it exactly.
What does the improved future that you want to create?
What's the exact outcome?
What does it look like?
What does it feel like?
What does it look like?
What does it, what does, what is the journey to get there?
You have that vividness.
So when your vision is both expansive and it is vivid, that's what
creates clarity of speech.
And how does it lead to clarity of speech?
Because once you are clear on your vision and your vision is bigger
than yourself, it is bigger than the individuals that you want to
create.
What happens then you are truly inspired and I'm talking about genuine
inspiration where you don't have to fake it, where it is genuine.
And it also leads to intrinsic motivation where you are intrinsically
motivated to carry out that vision, right?
That vision gives you goosebumps, right?
You are completely aligned with it in terms of your highest values.
That goes back to truth number one.
And so when this, when all of these is true, then what happens is that
you have clarity of speech because you are working towards it.
You're intrinsically motivated to develop it, right?
You're constantly sharing the vision because that's where you're most
outgoing.
You see how this works and it all feeds back to clarity of speech.
So that is truth number four.
And by the way, if what I'm saying with you resonates, and you are
getting this it's resonating with you, and you are really serious
about developing this characteristic within yourself.
And also having clarity on who you are.
Then give me a thumbs up and remember to subscribe to my channel as
well, ring that bell below because every single week I upload videos
on this topic and so much more.
And by the way, I have one more bonus.
So a bonus truth, number five, let's walk over there and I'll share
that with you right away.
Bonus truth number five is managed emotions, quiets your brain noise.
Quiets your brain noise.
What do I mean by that?
We have a lot of noise in our brain, right?
These could be the multitude of thoughts when we're in a conversation
with each other.
And these, that brain noise causes us our minds to go blank, causes us
to trip up on what we have to say next, causes us to lose track of
the conversation, especially when there's a dialogue happening in
front of you.
Sometimes we can miss out on parts of it because we have a lot of
brain noise.
And with that noise it's difficult to know what to say next, it' s
difficult to articulate in an organized manner because of that brain
noise.
But let's look at the real cause of that brain noise.
That real cause is emotions.
Emotions can distract you if you reflect on it, you'll see that it is
true.
When you have volatility of emotions, the more extreme your emotions
are, the more volatile it is.
And the more that creates noise inside of our brain.
Right?
And let me illustrate what I mean by that when we are in front of
executives, higher ups, and this is a meeting where we really want to
be seen, be heard, be remembered as well, right?
Being noticed by the people that are key to our professional
development.
This is where we can have a lot of desires to seek out their
acceptance, desires to seek out their praise, right?
And at the same time, we want to avoid their rejection.
We want to avoid the loss of potential relationships with these
individuals.
And so there's a lot of impulses and instincts in that moment to want
to be accepted and not want to be rejected.
So in those, this creates a lot of emotions and the more we desire to
seek that, which we want to seek, and the more we desire to avoid it,
this is where the volatility of emotions are.
And you've experienced this when you feel very distracted, how you're
constantly worried about what other people think.
And you might, you might notice within yourself that the more that
individuals is important to you, the more you seek their acceptance
and want to avoid that particular person's rejection.
Then the greater that distraction is, the emotional distraction of
over concerned about how they think.
And so these are our impulses and instincts.
So that's why the fifth truth, the bonus truth is really key.
When you manage your emotions effectively, this is what quiets the
brain noise.
And you no longer need to be concerned about what other people think.
By the way, if you want to know what the steps are, then that's
exactly what I teach every single week inside of my coaching.
And I shared earlier how to be involved in that, but I have another
resource for you.
If you want to take this training you know, on the next step, I have
another video coming up next, and this is how, how to have a great
conversation.
So just stay tuned for that.
It's going to show up right next and I'll see you there.