- I am the Chosen,
and Rogue One Magazine has asked me
to make a video on how I get ready.
This is Get Ready With Me, The Chosen.
(relaxing rhythmic music)
- This is my base, my headquarters.
It is the garage to my parents' house.
Most kung fu artists live in garages.
It's to practice humility, but also being pretty hardcore.
I sleep in a sleeping bag
on a workout mat to condition my body
for absolutely anything.
I keep it at 50 degrees in here so that I'm always ready
for the harsh nuclear winter,
which experts say will be 50 degrees.
Last night was pretty fricking crazy.
Had some Mountain Dew and then fell asleep
and promptly woke up now, at exactly 8:00 AM. 11:00 AM.
I am feeling pretty good today.
I had some BCAAs, which are amino acids.
Yeah, my cousin works at a GNC
and I'm able to get the hookup
on some pretty experimental things.
But every morning I start off by focusing very hard for
however long I want.
Sometimes it's so intense that I will focus
for an entire day.
I will meditate for 24 hours straight and then
it's the next day and I've essentially time traveled.
But the most difficult part of my day is that I have to
always be ready for absolutely anything.
I could get a call from anywhere in the world
needing my assistance, and so I have to be ready to leave
at any moment's notice, which is why I live in a garage.
(relaxing rhythmic music)
- And this is my makeshift desk.
I have cardboard.
I like to build things on my own.
I find they work better.
I always keep most of my important data on floppies
because hackers can't get into floppies, obviously.
The Yo-Yos are for entertainment
but they also double as weapons.
You can use these to knock someone
out if you properly time it.
Obviously from friggin' kindergarten,
haven't played this in forever.
(recorder playing)
- Currently working on this
it fricking busted like last month
so it is both literally and metaphorically in the (bleep).
I was able to in, (device clanging on toilet)
- I was able to install this toilet myself.
I do have plumbing capabilities like Mario.
Power Glove, obviously.
This is my throne.
Pretty badass.
Just this is just a, just a cool glove.
(plastic hitting floor) - Whoa. Hold on.
Check this out. (plastic launching)
- Here is my main project working on this for a while.
(cords falling)
- Oh, (bleep).
Been trying to untangle this for months.
Every time I untangle it, it gets retangled.
Let me know what move I should do next to untangle this.
I mainly need to get this mouse out,
cause I kinda want to use it.
- Ah.
Ah.
(Chosen yelling and choking)
- Mom.
Mom.
I have found myself tangled in the wires.
This happens often.
The key is to remain calm and treat it like quick sand.
Do not make fast movements
and just slowly get yourself out of it.
(Chosen breathing heavily) (wrestling with cables)
(Chosen grunting) (items falling)
- (bleep) (Chosen grunting)
(Chosen exhaling)
- Easy.
(relaxing rhythmic music)
- All right. This is the part of the video where I show you
my entire skin and hair care routine.
I have a comb
here.
I use an ancient technique to combing my hair.
I keep these strokes simple and clean
just like the theme song to Kingdom Hearts.
And that is my entire skin and hair care routine.
(relaxing rhythmic music)
- The recommended amount of time
for brushing your teeth is two minutes
but with the proper wrist motions
I'm able to do the same in less than 10 seconds.
(brushing teeth furiously)
- That was like three seconds. Not bad.
(relaxing rhythmic music)
- Now it's time for me to decide what outfit to wear, today.
I have option one.
This is a charcoal gray with the khaki shorts,
Cargo shorts, of course.
Option two, this is more of an ash gray, and the shorts have
a gravy stain on the back.
These ones are a little bit more for getting
hardcore work done.
If I need to like build a shed, I would wear this.
Option number three, is more of a midnight gray
and the cargo shorts have one of the pockets that's ripped.
That is because I tried to put an ninja star in my pocket
and then I ended up having to run and it cut my thigh
really bad, so my mom doesn't allow me to have ninja stars
in the house anymore.
I decided to go with option two.
It combines comfortability with practicality.
The glasses are from a kiosk at the mall.
The necklace is from the gift shop at an aquarium.
The shirt is from Circle K and the shorts are Masamo.
(relaxing rhythmic music)
- Obviously, for my nutrition, I have Cookie Crisp,
which has everything I need.
They did a study on people who have Cookie Crisp.
They found that people who have Cookie Crisp
have more neurons in their brain
than most than the average person, so
(exhaling loudly) makes sense.
I bet so many chess grand masters have Cookie Crisp.
They probably have it at the competitions.
Neil Gaiman famous author, eats Cookie Crisp.
Obviously, I have whole milk with my cereal.
I always do things 100%.
If I gave the world 2% of my effort
we'd be fricking screwed, and I don't
like my milk to give only 2% of its power.
I want fully powered milk.
Surprise, surprise. Another classic mistake.
Oh my God.
We have to do something about the NASDAQ.
(exhaling loudly) I have so much work to do.
(relaxing rhythmic music)
- Around this time of day,
I like to get into my conditioning.
I focus on my quickness while also focusing on my strength.
- Ta.
Kya.
I like to say Kya to expel energy,
which leaves room for your muscle fibers to grow bigger.
That's been proven scientifically.
(breathing rapidly)
- This is how you learn to punch really quick you do this.
Kya.
Now check this out check how fast I can freaking punch now.
(exhaling in short bursts)
- It's like I'm made of air.
(rope hitting bag) - Oh (bleep).
(rope twirling)
- Ah (bleep). Ah. Ah (bleep).
When I'm feeling really crazy,
I have through the Fire and Flames
by Dragon Force memorized on the DDR pad.
(stepping quickly) (breathing heavily)
(chair moving) - Oh (bleep).
That would've been like a 95, 96% on extra hard.
This video is sponsored by Mountain Dew.
Just do it.
(relaxing rhythmic music)
- I'm going to say some sponsors
in case they reach out and want to sponsor this video.
This video is sponsored by the US government.
Go to us.gov and use code Eagle to get a free passport.
This video is sponsored by Butterfingers.
Butterfingers, is it in you?
Use code Butterfinger to get a free Butterfinger.
This video is sponsored by National Treasure.
National Treasure based on a real story
because it's entirely 100% true.
This video is sponsored by Metal. Is it in you?
Use code Metal to get a free Butterfinger.
This video is sponsored by Game Stop.
Use code Gamer to get free Game Stop stock, to the moon.
This video is sponsored by Degree,
96 hour protection deodorant.
Once you apply, the timer begins.
You are now the Jack Bauer of Smell.
This video is sponsored by cargo shorts
the military of shorts.
(relaxing rhythmic music)
- I'll be meeting with some of my friends later today
to practice karate and to discuss
some ongoings of the world.
We have several meetings every week regarding the economy,
national or worldwide threats
that we might need to take care of.
And sometimes we just talk about Yu-GI-Oh
and other bullshit.
Hi-Speedroid Chanbara.
That's awesome.
Yeah. I was pretty worried when the Queen died
that I MI6 would be calling.
I get calls from agents all the time
and they always go exactly the same way.
I see the phone call.
I feel it ringing in my pocket.
I pick it up, I look at it.
Sometimes it'll just be a random location.
Other times it'll have no caller id. I'll answer it.
Sometimes there's a pause. Sometimes there's a machine.
A lot of this is always in code.
Obviously, my car's warranty is not expired.
I do not own a car.
This one's not necessarily good. It just looks cool.
Jinzo. Looks like hellraiser.
I have to be ready at all times.
It is exhausting. It is hard.
This is the ultimate reason why I choose never to fap.
It's a good movie. You know the US government's been there.
I know.
I've seen a lot of documents that I probably shouldn't see.
It's crazy what they found there.
If I told you your brain would melt out of your ears.
Even the knowledge of it is too much.
Nightmare Griffin, I'd put a link in the description below
but the vending machine at Ralph's does not have a website.
(relaxing rhythmic music)
- I'm here at me and my friend's
normal meeting grounds for combat training.
It is the back lot behind a Best Buy.
The manager allows us to use this space
and so we use it to prepare, but I warn you
do not try to recreate what you're about to see.
We are trained professionals
with tons of friggin' experience.
So if you attempted it, you'd probably break your face.
This video is sponsored by Bo Staffs.
Always keep them far away, but also close to death.
Oh, there they are now.
How long have you been there?
- A minute.
Wow. Their stealth is improving.
Are you ready to begin?
- Yeah, sure.
- Step forward.
Not, you step back.
You stay there. Go ahead, give it a shot.
(smacking hand away)
(smacking hand away) (shoes skirting on pavement)
- Time out. Time out.
We didn't fake kicks yet. That's level two.
(Chosen making kung fu noises)
- Dead.
(Spencer grunting)
- [Chosen] Yeah. Walk away.
(exhaling) Frick. At this rate,
we're never gonna be prepared.
All right, this time you'll block my attacks.
Are you ready?
- Oh.
- I didn't even hit him that hard.
I'm sorry.
That was literally hardly, I hardly tapped you.
(relaxing rhythmic music) (nun chuck hitting)
- Oh.
- You can't use a sword.
- You can't use the. (breathing heavily)
- Yeah. That was actually freaking awesome.
(everyone making kung fu noises)
- So the pointing is not necessary if you just back in.
That's, why, you don't need to do that.
Fine. That's good enough.
Yeah, I guess that'll work.
- [All] Cha!
- Kya. (phone falling on floor)
- Stay focused.
No electronics allowed.
- The (bleep).
- It was broken before already.
(relaxing rhythmic music)
- After combat training, we often return here to
discuss national security threats or things of interest.
Do you guys have your emergency kits packed and ready?
- I've got one for each scenario.
I have a zombie bag.
I have a nuclear bag and I have an ice age bag.
- [Jeremy] You have an ice age bag?
- [Spencer] Yes. - [Chosen] Like.
- [Spencer] Just in case we encounter Ice Age 4 Meltdown.
- That's the one where he gets the nut, right?
- [Spencer] Scrap gets the nut.
- Scrap finally gets the nut in that one.
I can't believe they let him get the nut.
I feel like the movies would've been better
if Scrap never got the nut.
- No, I think getting, I think getting a nut is overrated.
- We are all members of the No Fap community.
Me, been doing it pretty much my whole life.
But you guys, what days are you at?
- Three. - [Chosen] Three. Three days.
- Three days. - 192.
- Impressive. Looks like you have
something to aspire towards.
Sometimes we simply just sit for
a while and don't fap.
It's a type of meditation, really.
Very good.
(soda fizzing)
- Classic mistake.
Well, that's how I get ready for my day.
And now it is time
for me to take a nap.
Be sure to give this video a like.
I don't have any other videos to recommend
but I do recommend watching the World of Warcraft movie.
It gets a bad rap.
It's actually pretty good and very realistic.
Comment down below if you think my friend
was being super cheap with his moves.
Technically in a fair fight,
neither of them hit me at all.
Make sure to comment, Impressive, beneath this video.
So,
goodbye.
(relaxing rhythmic music)
- Thank you MTV Cribs.
(relaxing rhythmic music)
(startlingly wakes up)
- That was the best one yet. That was awesome.
They'd be dead.