You all knew I was living with a vampire and nobody said anything?
You really didn’t know?
I didn’t know!
I thought you were just playing it cool, you know? Didn’t wanna seem all speciesist.
Speciesist?
She’s not a vampire. There’s no such thing as vampires.
She’s a light averse octogenarian with extreme hemoglobin deficiency and really good skin.
I’m gonna go and make some more hot chocolate.
So, something is taking girls and the ones that have come back have gone full on Lucy from Dracula
and you don’t think my roommate being a vampire is, I don’t know, pertinent information?
Well, when you put it that way…
And I’m next! She’s making with the creepy dreams and the charms…
And the seduction eyes…
Seduction eyes?
I am totally next!
Quick, check my neck! Is there anything on my neck?!
Wait, seduction eyes?!
There’s nothing on your neck, Laura. You’re fine.
Oh my gosh. She’s a vampire.
My roommate is an honest to Lestat vampire.
How do we stop a vampire?
[Reading off her phone]
Staking,
decapitation,
immolation…
Uh, there’s something here about driving an iron needle through her heart.
You know, normally I’m not into this kind of stuff,
but in the case of seduction eyes I could definitely warm up to the thought.
No!
n-n-n-n-n-n-no!
We can’t immolate everyone that Su— LaFontaine thinks is a supernatural creature.
Just the ones that are flammable.
Because only nutbars make plans to set people on fire without proof of anything.
Does Salem ring a bell?
We have plenty of proof.
Do you wanna put some soy milk into my cocoa? I’m feeling a little anaemic.
No, she's right.
Perry.
Even if we can turn Carmilla into a vampire bonfire,
we still wouldn’t be able to figure out what she’s done with Betty or the other missing girls.
We don’t need her dead!
Or, deader.
We need her trapped.
We need a way to get some answers.
Okay, so how do we trap a vampire?
Well, I have an idea
[to Danny] but you’re not gonna like it.
What?
Well, we use something she wants to lure her into a
rope net or a room full of garlic. We’ll have to figure out that second part.
Okay, so what do you… What do we use as bait in this case?
Well...
uh,
Laura.