- YOU ACTUALLY DO HAVE GOOD ADVICE.
- I TRY. - YEAH.
YOU'RE NOT KIDDING AROUND HERE.
AND SO WHERE'S KATHLEEN JONES?
HI, KATHLEEN.
- CUTE.
[cheers and applause]
- HI. - HI.
- I'M KATHLEEN, AND I'M OVER 50,
AND MY SON AND I JUST MOVED HERE FROM TEXAS IN APRIL.
AND MY QUESTION IS,
HOW DO I GET BACK IN THE DATING SCENE
AND BRING THAT SEXY BACK, 'CAUSE I DON'T HAVE IT.
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO IT, HOW TO GET OUT THERE.
I'VE NEVER-- IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME
SINCE I'VE BEEN IN THE DATING SCENE.
- I'MA PUT YOU ON CHRISTIAN MINGLE, OKAY?
THAT'S WHAT I'MA DO.
'CAUSE YOU GOT IT GOING ON.
YOU LOOK NICE RIGHT NOW.
YOU ARE FINE.
YOU JUST NEED A LITTLE MORE TIME.
YOU NEED TO GO OUT AND GET YOURSELF OUT.
AND THEN IF ALL ELSE FAILS,
I'LL HOOK YOU UP WITH MY COUSIN SKILLET, ALL RIGHT?
HE'LL SHOW YOU HOW TO DO.
WHAT? I'M--
I'M--
- SOUNDS GOOD TO ME.
- IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT--
WAIT A MINUTE.
SO WILL YOU-- YOU KNOW, THE THING IS,
WHEN YOU HAVE BEEN OUT OF THE DATING SCENE,
YOU DON'T FEEL SEXY AND YOU DON'T FEEL CONFIDENT
BECAUSE NO ONE'S MAKING YOU FEEL LIKE THAT,
BUT YOU DO JUST HAVE TO GET OUT THERE
AND YOU DO HAVE TO JUST TAKE A CHANCE
AND START FLIRTING.
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
SHE IS 50 AND SHOWING HER KNEES.
SHE FEELS SEXY, OKAY?
SHE LOOKS GOOD.
[cheers and applause] YOU LOOK GOOD, GIRL.
YOU LOOK GOOD.
DON'T--
[cheers and applause]
SKILLET.
- SO WHEN YOU'RE SHOWING YOUR KNEES--
- YEAH, OVER 50 WHEN YOU SHOW--
I HAVE EXOTIC KNEES.
I'M NOT 50 YET, BUT WHEN I GET 50, I'MA SHOW MY KNEES.
'CAUSE THEY EXOTIC.
SO YOU--YOU DOING GOOD. OKAY?
WE JUST GOT TO GET YOU ONLINE.
- I DON'T KNOW WHAT JUST HAPPENED, BUT THANK YOU.
[laughter]
ALL RIGHT.
JENNIFER MCNELLY--MCNEELY?
WHERE'S JENNIFER MCNEELY?
HI, JENNIFER. - HI.
SO I'VE BEEN MARRIED-- IT'LL BE SEVEN YEARS THIS YEAR,
AND I HAVE TWO BABIES, TWIN GIRLS,
THAT JUST TURNED ONE.
- AWW.
- HOW DO I KEEP THE "ROMANCE" ALIVE
AT THE END OF THE DAY
WHEN I'M DONE WITH SPIT-UP AND,
YOU KNOW, FOOD?
- DO YOU DRINK?
[laughter]
- NOW THAT BREASTFEEDING IS OVER, YES, ABSOLUTELY.
- OKAY, THAT WAS IMPORTANT.
OKAY, 'CAUSE LET ME TELL YOU.
GET YOU SOME BROWN LIQUOR.
[stammers]
GET YOU SOME BROWN LIQUOR.
GET YOU SOME BERRY WHITE CDs.
GET YOU A GOOD BABYSITTER THAT CAN KEEP 'EM--
YOUR MAMA OR SOMEBODY THAT CAN KEEP THE BABIES FOR THE NIGHT,
AND YOU DO THAT, YOU FIX SOME-- NO CARBS, RIGHT?
A SALAD.
AND THEN YOU PLAY THAT, YOU DRINK THAT BROWN LIQUOR,
AND I GUARANTEE YOU, YOU'LL TWEET ME
THE NEXT DAY ABOUT IT, ALL RIGHT?
[laughter]
[cheers and applause]
- LET ME TELL YOU WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN.
AFTER TAKING CARE OF TWO ONE-YEAR-OLDS
AT THE END OF THE DAY,
SHE PUTS ON A LITTLE SLOW MUSIC--
I DON'T CARE IF IT'S BARRY WHITE OR AL GREEN OR ANYBODY.
SHE'S GONNA DRINK SOME BROWN LIQUOR,
SHE'S GONNA BE ASLEEP IN TEN MINUTES.
- THIS IS GONNA GET HER--
IT'S GONNA GET HER JUICES FLOWING.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
- OH, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY,
BUT SHE'S GONNA FALL ASLEEP.
- IT'S GONNA GET THE JUICES FLOWING.
AND ALL YOU NEED IS TEN GOOD MINUTES.
THAT'S ALL YOU NEED. YOU WILL BE FINE.
I PROMISE YOU. TRY IT.
- YOU JUST NEED TEN GOOD MINUTES.
- THAT'S ALL.
THAT'S ALL.
ACTUALLY, THREE, DEPENDING ON--
- ALL RIGHT, ONE LAST ONE.
LETTIE CRUZ. WHERE'S LETTIE CRUZ?
HI, LETTIE.
[cheers and applause]
HI.
[cheers and applause]
WHAT'S GOING ON, LETTIE?
- HI, MY NAME'S LETTIE, AND I'M FROM LOS ANGELES.
I'M 29, AND MY QUESTION IS,
HOW DO I EASE IT UP TO MY BOYFRIEND
THAT I'VE BEEN WITH THREE YEARS
THAT I HAVE BABY FEVER?
'CAUSE I'MA BE 30 THIS YEAR.
- DID YOU TALK ABOUT IT WHEN YOU STARTED DATING
THAT YOU WANTED TO HAVE CHILDREN?
- NO. - UH-OH.
- THAT WOULD BE A GOOD CONVERSATION TO HAVE.
- RIGHT.
WELL, OKAY, GO TO CHUCK E. CHEESE OR SOMEPLACE.
AND SPEND THE WHOLE DAY THERE,
AND YOU AIN'T GONNA WANT NO MORE KIDS
FOR A WHILE, ALL RIGHT? [laughter]
UNTIL HE'S READY.
[cheers and applause]
- OKAY.
- ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU, LONI.