>>>> Announcer: LIVE FROM THE SAINT ROSE OF LIMA AUDITORIUM
AND SPORTS CENTER, IT'S THE 2019 NEPHEW PAGEANT.
HE'S CLEVER AND FUN
HE'S MY SIBLING'S SON
>> GOOD EVENING AND WELCOME TO THE 19th ANNUAL NEPHEW PAGEANT.
I'M YOUR HOST, AUNT PATTY. NOW, WHY CELEBRATE NEPHEWS?
WELL, THEY'RE FUN LITTLE SCAMPS AND THEY'RE NOT YOURS.
HERE TO ASK THE QUESTIONS IS LAST YEAR'S WINNER, JOSHUA.
>> DID I DO IT RIGHT? >> OH, PERFECT.
HOW HAS YOUR YEAR BEEN? >> PRETTY GOOD.
MY NEIGHBORS GOT A GREAT DANE AND IT'S THE SAME WEIGHT AS MY
DAD. >> WOW, JOSHUA.
THAT'S COOL! WELL, NOW, LET'S MEET OUR
CONTESTANTS. >> HERE TO PRESENT OUR FIRST
NEPHEW, SHE'S BEEN A LOT NICER SINCE SHE STARTED SMOKING AGAIN,
IT'S AUNT CARLA. >> THE YEAR, 2002.
THE PLACE, MERCY HOSPITAL. THE EVENT, THE BIRTH OF MY
NEPHEW DEVON.
IT'S THE ONLY PAGEANT FOR
>> DEVON JUST GOT HIS BRACES OFF AND KNOWS HOW TO FLAUNT IT.
>> DEVON, YOUR QUESTION IS, WHAT DOES IT MEAN, TO BE AN ANY OF
FUTURE, TO YOU? >> WELL, UMM, I GUESS IT'S LIKE
A NIECE BUT FOR A BOY. >> CORRECT!
>> NOW YOU'RE JUST SHOWING OFF, DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
>> I CAN FIX THE PRINTER. >> TO PRESENT OUR NEXT NEPHEW,
SHE'S BEEN BANNED FROM WEIGHT WATCHERS FOR LYING TOO OFTEN.
IT'S AUNT EILEEN. >> HE'S QUIET IN CHURCH AND HE
TAUGHT ME EMOJIS. MY NEPHEW LUCAS.
FLOWERS
A NEPHEW IS A SONG
>> LUCAS IS NOT INTO GEOS AS HE USED TO BE SO PLEASE STOP
SENDING HIM GEOS. >> YOUR QUESTION, IF YOU COULD
BE ANY NEPHEW FROM HISTORY, WHO WOULD IT BE AND WHY?
>> UMM, MY UNCLE THOMAS BECAUSE EVEN UNCLES CAN BE SOMEBODY'S
NEPHEW. >> THAT'S GORGEOUS!
GOOD JOB, LUCAS. NOW, HERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT ME.
WHEN MY NEPHEW DYLAN FIRST GOT A DETENTION AT SCHOOL, I SOBBED SO
HARD THAT THEY TOOK ME TO THE HOSPITAL.
>> NOW HERE TO PRESENT OUR FINAL CONTESTANT, SHE'S
SUING HER FORMER PSYCHIC. IT'S AUNT RO.
>> TWICE A YEAR I MAILED HIM A CHECK, MY NEPHEW DANIEL.
THEY'RE EVERYWHERE
TEENY AND TALL ONES I'LL SEND YOU 20 BUCKS
>> DANIEL ABSOLUTELY SHATTERED
HIS LEG DOING A BACK FLIP IN THE DORM ROOM.
>> DANIEL, WHAT'S YOUR PROUDEST MOMENT SO FAR?
>> UMM, WELL, IT'S EITHER THE TIME I STOLE SO MUCH WRAPPING
PAPER THAT I GOT TO TAKE A LIMO TO SCHOOL OR WHEN I PULLED MY
MOM OUT OF THAT BURNING RIVER. >> OOH, THAT IS A TOSS-UP.
THANK YOU, DANIEL. AND LEST WE FORGET OUR
SUPPORTING PLAYERS, LET'S TAKE A MOMENT FOR ALL THE NIECES AND
PETS.
NIECES ARE SILVER AND PETS
>> GOOD JOB NIECES AND PETS.
AND NOW THE WINNER. JUDGE, WHO WILL IT BE?
>> THE BOY. >> WHICH ONE, JUDGE?
>> THE BOY WINS. >> SAY A NAME, JUDGE.
>> JOSHUA. >> WHAT?
OH, I GOT TO DO IT NEXT YEAR TOO!
>> YOU REALLY ARE THE NUMBER ONE NEPH.
THAT'S IT FOR THIS YEAR. GOOD NIGHT.
IT'S THE ONLY PAGEANT FOR
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]