(relaxed guitar music)
- [Narrator] Hey, Psych2Goers,
and welcome back to another video.
Thank you all so much for the love and support
that you've given us, enabling us to make
yet another exploration into everyday psychology.
So, let's continue.
Have you ever had one of those days
when you just can't make anything work?
You wake up late, and this sets a shadow
on the rest of your day.
Everyone has days like that.
But what if you can't get out of your own way?
No matter how hard you try?
If you find that most of your days
are one of those days, you're probably sabotaging yourself.
Wrecking your own potential success
is not just a harmless byproduct of low self-esteem.
Self sabotage can take a huge toll
on your relationships, health,
finances, and career.
So, let's take a look at seven major signs of self-sabotage.
Number one, you're too hard on yourself.
Are you constantly putting yourself down
or picking apart everything you do?
Are you able to let your mistakes go
or do you replay everything you did wrong?
If any of this sounds familiar,
you could be sabotaging yourself
by being too perfectionistic.
Self-oriented perfectionism,
or the belief that you need to be perfect, no matter what,
often leaves the person feeling
like they'll never be good enough.
This is because the end goal of perfection
is often unrealistic.
Not surprisingly, constantly feeling
as though you don't measure up
leads to lower self esteem
and higher feelings of failure.
Your fear of making mistakes paralyzes you
from taking any productive step ahead.
Being overly self-critical
can also hurt your mental health,
resulting in feelings of loneliness and helplessness,
anxiety, and depression.
Two, you're quick to point out the negative.
Do you go out of your way to pick a situation apart
until you find all the flaws?
Are you surprised when your plans work out well?
If this sounds familiar,
you could be sabotaging your relationships
with your pessimistic outlook.
Pessimism doesn't just sabotage your goals
and your relationships,
but it can also be bad for your health.
A study by Pankalainen found that people
who described themselves as pessimistic
were 2.2 times more likely to die
of coronary heart disease
than the more neutral or optimistic participants.
Number three, you wait until the last minute.
You usually wait until the night before to write a paper,
and you relate to waiting until the week before a holiday
to make preparations.
Procrastination or putting off a task
until the 11th hour is easy to do
if you're feeling overwhelmed, tired,
mentally drained, or just plain lazy.
Avoiding a task because you just don't feel into it
is normal from time to time.
However, giving into that "meh" feeling
on a regular basis can hold you back
in many areas of your life.
You end up being dissatisfied with everything you do,
be it school or work.
Research shows people who described themselves
as regular procrastinators
report higher levels of stress and anxiety.
They also are more prone to depression.
Four, you're disorganized.
What happens when chaos is your normal?
Are you constantly being late or missing deadlines?
If you feel like your life is all over the place,
you might be sabotaging yourself in several ways.
This lowers your self esteem.
Also, you lose things
that you actually want and need.
The out-of-control feeling
that comes with being disorganized
can lead to emotional eating too,
and increases feelings of depression and hopelessness.
Research shows too much disorganization and clutter
can make people feel stressed and uncomfortable.
People who described their homes as cluttered
tended to have higher levels
of the stress hormone, cortisol.
High levels of cortisol over time
have been linked to health conditions
such as inflammation and high blood sugar.
Number five, you feel like a phony.
Are you a pro at doubting yourself and your abilities?
You find it hard to give yourself credit
for your own successes?
If so, these point towards imposter syndrome.
Feeling like a phony
can lead to some serious self-sabotage.
For example, you don't try for jobs,
promotions, roles, or relationships you want,
or you don't reach out to others
because you often feel as if
nobody wants to hear what you have to say.
You don't honor your own boundaries
or speak up for yourself when others treat you badly,
often playing it small
because you feel like others
are just putting up with you.
Six, you overdo it.
It turns out, constantly doing and being extra
can take a toll on your mental health.
Overcommitments lead to self-sabotage in a variety of ways.
For example, taking on too much
leads to not being able to finish everything you start.
The feelings of guilt and obligation
associated with overcommitment
make it difficult to speak up for yourself,
or set healthy boundaries.
Overcommitment sets you up
to constantly put yourself last,
which just makes stress worse.
Overcommitment leaves you open
to constantly being asked to do just one more thing,
give just a little more.
And number seven, you're burnt out.
Have you been a little forgetful lately?
Maybe you've been making more mistakes than usual at work.
Living in a constant state of stress and exhaustion
can lead to what psychiatrists call burnout.
Burnout feels like constantly trudging through wet concrete,
or trying to drive a car with no oil.
The constant stress and exhaustion from burnout
can lead to some serious self-sabotage
like mental and physical illnesses,
relationship troubles, and even hurt your finances.
The dread even gets physical.
Do you get headaches on the way to physics class
or your job?
The headaches, stomach aches, indigestion,
or weird physical symptoms you're feeling?
They might be telling you to pump the brakes
and think about how much effort you're putting into this.
Most of you can probably relate
to most things on this list from time to time,
these are all normal thoughts, feelings and behaviors.
However, if you think anything on this list
describes you most of the time,
you owe it to yourself to think about
what might be contributing to you getting in your own way.
Just know that no matter how you choose
to deal with self-sabotage,
you're worth the effort.
We hope we were able to give you
a little insight into some of the signs
you might be self-sabotaging.
Do any of these apply to you?
They definitely apply to me.
Let us know in the comments below.
If you found this video insightful,
be sure to hit the like and subscribe button
and share it with someone who might benefit from it.
Thanks for watching, and we'll see you in the next video.