EVERYONE HERE HAVE A GOOD DAY?
GREAT!
LET'S TALK ABOUT SOMEONE WHO DIDN'T, DONALD TRUMP.
BECAUSE TODAY WAS THE FIRST DAY OF HIS IMPEACHMENT TRIAL IN THE
SENATE.
NOW, HANG ON.
DON'T GET YOUR HOPES UP.
THE REPUBLICANS CONTROL THE SENATE.
SO, YOU CAN EXPECT IT TO BE ABOUT AS LEGITIMATE AS A U.S.C.
APPLICATION FROM A CELEBRITY'S CHILD.
TODAY WAS THE FIRST LONG -- HOW LONG HAS THIS WHOLE THING
BEEN GOING ON?
IMAGINE IF IT TOOK REGULAR PEOPLE THIS LONG TO GET FIRED
FROM THEIR JOBS.
LISTEN, MIKE, YOU'RE INEPT AT YOUR JOB.
WE'RE DEFINITELY GOING TO FIRE YOU, BUT IT'S GOING TO TAKE
ABOUT TEN MONTHS.
NOW, BACK TO WORK."
THE SENATE SPENT THE ENTIRE FIRST DAY JUST HASHING OUT
THE RULES FOR THE TRIAL.
IT'S AN EXCITING DAY FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE LIKE, "YOU KNOW WHAT MY
FAVORITE PART OF A BOOK IS?
THE TABLE OF CONTENTS."
THE DEBATE OVER THE RULES GOT OFF TO A PRETTY BAD START WHEN
TRUMP'S LEGAL TEAM OPENED WITH "NO TAKE-BACKS, FINDERS KEEPERS,
AND THE PRESIDENT IS ADAMANT ABOUT THIS: WHOEVER SMELT IT
DEALT IT."
IT GOT CONTENTIOUS, BUT THE ONE THING EVERY SINGLE SENATOR COULD
AGREE ON: BRAD AND JEN STILL LOOKED GREAT TOGETHER.
DIDN'T THEY?
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) >> Joe: HE'S IN A TUX.
SHE'S WEARING A WHITE DRESS, THEY'RE HOLDING
HANDS.
GUYS, IT'S THE '90s AGAIN AND EVERYTHING IS GREAT!
IF ONLY!
MEANWHILE, PRESIDENT TRUMP ISN'T EVEN IN THE UNITED STATES.
HE LEFT LAST NIGHT FOR THE WORLD ECONOMIC FORUM IN DAVOS,
SWITZERLAND.
OR AS THAT'S MORE COMMONLY CALLED, "FLEEING THE COUNTRY."
I MEAN, TRUMP SAID IT WAS COMFORTING BEING AROUND SKIERS
IN THE SWISS ALPS.
MUCH LIKE HIS PRESIDENCY, ALSO GOING DOWNHILL FAST.
MOVING ON, HERE'S A CRAZY STORY.
ACCORDING TO A NEW STUDY CONDUCTED BY RESEARCHERS IN
FINLAND, COMPUTERS ARE ABLE TO IDENTIFY YOU BY YOUR DANCING.
APRENTLY EACH PERSON'S STYLE OF DANCING IS AS UNIQUE AS THEIR
FINGERPRINT.
THIS WOULD BE A WEIRD WAY TO IDENTIFY PEOPLE IN A POLICE
LINE-UP.
"NUMBER THREE, STEP FORWARD.
NOW TO THE LEFT.
NOW STOP.
HAMMER TIME."
YOUR DANCING STYLE IS AS UNIQUE AS YOUR FINGERPRINT.
IF THAT'S TRUE, ELIZABETH WARREN HAS VERY UNIQUE FINGERPRINTS.
♪ ♪ ♪ (
>> Joe: SHALL WE SEE WHO OUR GHES STARS ARE ON THE SHOW
TONIGHT?