>> Greg: WE ARE HERE YES.
OH, MY GOSH, HAPPY GLORIOUS
MONDAY IT IS GATE DAY ONE OF OUR
SECOND WEEK OF THE KNOW AUDIENCE
SHOWS, I GUESS WE REALLY SHOULD
LOWER TICKET PRICES, THIS IS
RIDICULOUS.
WHILE IT IS ONE OF THE GREAT
MOMENTS IN EDUCATION, APPARENTLY
A MOTHER IN TEXAS IS BEING
ACCUSED OF PUTTING HER SON WHO
TESTED POSITIVE FOR COVID IN THE
TRUNK OF HER CAR TO PREVENT HIM,
OR HER FROM BEING EXPOSED TO HIS
VIRUS.
SO THAT IS KIND OF AWESOME,
THROWING YOUR KID IN THE TRUNK
OF YOUR CAR LIKE A SET OF JUMPER
CABLES.
I THINK WE FINALLY FOUND A WOMAN
WHO CAN BEAT HER FOR MOTHER OF
THE YEAR.
[LAUGHS]
SHE FACES CHARGES OF CHILD
ENDANGERMENT BUT DON’T UP YET.
IT CAN STILL HAPPEN FOR YOU.
STILL TONIGHT, BUT AFTER SHE
ARRIVED AT THE COVA TESTING SITE
WITH HER 13-YEAR-OLD BOY IN THE
BACK OF HER CAR THAT RAISE SOME
CONCERNS, SHE BROUGHT HER SON
TOLD THE DIRECTOR OF HEALTH
SERVICES THAT HE WAS IN THE
TRUNK SO SHE WOULDN’T BE EXPOSED
WHILE DRIVING.
THE KID WAS IN THE TRUNK, HE WAS
FREED, UNHARMED.
NO WORD OF THE KIDS NAME IS JACK
JACK.
[LAUGHS]
I JUST LOOKED OVER AND SHE
DOESN’T KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING
ABOUT.
YOU MIGHT THINK, LET’S HOPE THAT
THIS KID’S LADY IS NOT AROUND
OTHER KIDS.
WHICH IS WHAT YOU USUALLY THINK
ABOUT WHEN YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT
CNN PRODUCERS, BUT HERE YOU
WOULD BE WRONG.
SHE HAS A HIGH SCHOOL ENGLISH
TEACHER, WHICH IS NOW BEEN
PLACED ON ADMINISTRATIVELY OF ME IS THAT SHE GETS PAID TO WATCH
IS THAT SHE GETS PAID TO WATCH
THE HARMONICHALLMARK CHANNEL.
>> HIGH CAN I GO HOME YET?
IT’S BEEN 14 DAYS.
I TESTED NEGATIVE.
[LAUGHS]
NEGATIVE, NEGATIVE.
[LAUGHS]
>> Greg: THIS IS WHERE A
SHALLOW TALK SHOW HOST MIGHT
SHOW THIS HOW BAD OUR EDUCATION
SYSTEM HAS BECOME.
I’LL TELL YOU WHAT, I AM THAT
SHALLOW TALK SHOW HOST.
>> OUR EDUCATION SYSTEM SUCKS.
THE FACT IS THAT WE ARE IN A
PLACE WERE THERE SACRIFICING THE
HEALTH AND SAFETY OF CHILDREN
HELP THEMSELVES.
THEY SAY IT’S TOO DANGEROUS TO
GO BACK TO CLASS AND THAT WOULD
BE TRUE IF WE ARE TALKING ABOUT
THAT.
>> Greg: THEY ARE USING COVID
AS AN EXCUSE TO SIT AT HOME
WATCH THE VIEW AND DAY DRINKING
UNTIL JOEY STARTS LOOKING HIM
IN.
MEANWHILE FOR THE FOURTH
CONSECUTIVE DAY.
CHICAGO PUBLIC SCHOOLS HAVE
CANCELED CLASSES AS UNIONS FAIL
TO AGREE WHEN THEY COULD BRING
CLASSES BACK IN THE CLASSROOM.
TWO EXOTIC DANCERS JULIE.
THEY’VE BEEN BACK AT WORK FOR
MONTHS.
SOME OF US DOING ALL FOUR OF
THOSE JOBS IN THE SAME DAY.
BUT MAYBE THE TEACHER STAYING AT
HOME IS A GOOD THING RIGHT?
IF THERE’S ANYTHING WE GOT OUT
OF REMOTE LEARNING IS THAT
STUDENTS CHANCES OF LEARNING IS
REMOTE.
WHY IS THAT?
WILL OUR EDUCATION SYSTEM IS THE
ONLY THING EXEMPT FROM THE ONE
TOOL THAT MAKES ALL OF THIS
BETTER.
IT IS COMPETITION.
OUR EDUCATIONS AND LATE-NIGHT
TALK SHOW HOST.
THANKS TO ME THERE’S REALLY NO
COMPETITION THERE EITHER.
PATTING MYSELF ON THE BACK, BUT
MY ARMS ARE SHORT.
LACKING COMPETITION, THEY ARE
FREE TO DO WHATEVER THE HELL
THEY WANT.
STUDENTS BE.
YOU CAN TAKE YOUR BUSINESS
ELSEWHERE.
IMAGINE THIS KIND OF MENTALITY
WORK JUST IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS.
IN FACT IT DOES.
SEE THE DEPARTMENT OF MOTOR
VEHICLES.
NEITHER ARE KNOWN FOR THEIR
SHORT LINES AND HIGHLY MOTIVATED
WORKFORCE.
THE FACT IS WHEN YOU ONLY HAVE
ONE CHOICE TO PICK FROM, THE
CHOICE OF BENEFITS THE ENTITY
THAT DOES IT.
IT’S LIKE BEING THE BEST LOOKING
MAN ON FOX NEWS IT’S NOT THAT
YOU’RE HANDSOME SCHUSTER
HANDSOME BY DEFAULT.
OR MAYBE YOU LIVE IN A SMALL
TOWN WITH ONLY ONE CABLE
COMPANY.
GOOD LUCK IF IT GOES OUT DURING
THE STORM.
CABLE COMPANY WILL BE IN NO RUSH
TO FIX IT BECAUSE, WHO YOU GOING
TO GO TO IF YOU ARE UNSATISFIED?
BUT THERE ARE TWO CABLE
COMPANIES IT IS AMAZING HOW MUCH
FASTER [BLEEP] GETS DONE.
NOW INSTEAD OF WAITING FOR THE
CABLE GUY TO --
THEY GOT IT DOWN TO 9:00 A.M.,
TO 8:00 P.M. AND THAT IS THE
PUBLIC SCHOOL SYSTEM FOR YOU. THEY CAN ABANDON YOUR KIDS KIDS
THEY CAN ABANDON YOUR KIDS KIDS
WHO ARE YOU GOING TO GO TO?
YOUR NIGHT JOB STRIPPING AND
PRUDES.
POLITICIANS DON’T CARE THEY TRY
TO ENJOY THE CHOICE FOR THE
STIPPLING OFFSPRING, YES THEIR
PRECIOUS BUS HE GETS DECENT AND
STRUCTURES AND BOOKS TO READ A
SET OF METAL METAL DETECTORS,
MASS MANDATES AND BARELY
LITERATE TEACHERS WHO CAN’T BE
FIRED.
OUR LEADERS BAD EDUCATION IS
LIKE HIGH CRIME.
IF IT’S NOT THEIR PROBLEM, AND
IT’S NO PROBLEM AT ALL.
IT WAS TIME TO CHANGE THAT.
AS ONE FAMOUS DEMOCRAT SAID,
DON’T LET A CRISIS GO TO WASTE.
I BELIEVE IT WAS BRITNEY SPEARS.
ANY BUT SHE KNOWS MORE ABOUT
EDUCATION, SHE’S 40 YEARS OLD
AND STILL FITS IN TO HER
CATHOLIC SCHOOL GIRL OUT OUTFIT.
THAT’S ONE THING WE BOTH HAVE IN
COMMON.
BUT THE PANDEMIC HAS EXPOSE AN
EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM IN CRISIS.
THIS IS GOOD FOR A PARENTAL TEA
PARTY THAT STOPS PAYING AND
ASSISTANCE THAT POISON YOUR KIDS
INTELLECTUALLY WHILE THE
TEACHERS SET AT HOME POISONING
THEMSELVES WITH THE RIOS.
IT’S TIME TO FUND THE STUDENTS
ARE NOT THE SCHOOLS.
AND THEN THEY WILL FIGHT FOR THE
STUDENTS MONEY BUT DENY THAT
SCHOOL BOARDS YOUR TAX CASH AND
WATCH THEM WITHER AND DROP AWAY
LIKE A FROZEN.
COMPETITION WILL MAKE ALL
SCHOOLS AND ALL TEACHERS BETTER.
THEY MAY NOT WANT IT THE WAY
YOUR KID DIDN’T WANT SPINACH,
BUT IT WASN’T UP TO HIM SO LET’S
JAM IT DOWN THEIR THROAT AND
WATCH THE BENEFITS TAKE HOLD.
COMPETITION MAKES IT SO IT’S NOT
UP TO US IT’S UP TO THEM.
AT THE PARENT.
AND THAT’S THE ONLY SOLUTION WE
REALLY HAVE LEFT.
ASIDE FROM LOCKING KIDS AND THE
TRUNK OF A CAR WITH HER LAPTOP
AND A BAG LUNCH.
WHICH IS MY KIND OF HOMESCHOOL.
>> LET’S WELCOME TONIGHT’S
GUESTS, SHE HAS MORE TANK THAN
THE DOLPHINS AT SEAWORLD.
FOX NEWS ANCHOR JULIE BANDERAS.
>> Greg: HIS FAVORITE COLORS
ARE RED, WHITE, BLUE,
CONSERVATIVE CANDIDATE FOR
CONGRESS IN FLORIDA, CORY MILLS.
HE IS THE FUNNIEST COMEDIAN WE
CAN GET ON SHORT NOTICE, WRITER
AND COMEDIAN JOE DEVITO AND SHE
HAS A CASE OF THE MONDAYS AND A
CASE OF EXPIRED WINE COOLERS,
FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR. [APPLAUSE]
HOW WAS YOUR JULY JANUARY YOUR D
>> I DO KNOW I STARTED ON THE
THIRD FOR THE FIRST COUPLE OF
DAYS WERE ROUGH.
AND THEN IT EXPIRED LAST NIGHT.
I’M GOING TO START IT AGAIN
THOUGH TODAY.
>> Greg: THERE YOU GO.
>> I HAVE A DRINK SINCE THIS
MORNING.
>> Greg: THAT IS FANTASTIC,
WHAT YOU GO FOR.
THERE YOU GO.
WHENEVER I THINK OF GOOD
PARENTING I WAS THINK OF YOU
FIRST.
YOU THINK THIS WOMAN IS UNFAIRLY
MALIGNED FOR KEEPING HER SAFE
FROM HER CHILD?
>> YOU’VE TO THINK
OUT-OF-THE-BOX, DON’T LIMITED TO
JUST THE KIDS, YOU CAN FIT SO OF
MY CAR.
I WOULD PUT THE HUSBAND, THE
BARKING DOGS, AND I’M NOT
REFERRING TO MY DARK PAST I’M
TIRED ABOUT THE ACTUAL FILTHY
CLOTHES THAT ARE JUST PILING UP
BECAUSE I DON’T DO LAUNDRY.
JUST THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX I
THINK IT’S AN ABSOLUTELY GREAT
IDEA.
YOU WANT TO EXPOSE YOURSELF TO
YOUR KIDS.
LOCK THEM IN THERE FOR THE
REMAINDER OF THE SCHOOL YEAR.
IF THEY COME BACK REMOTE
SCHOOLING.
THAT’S ALL MY DRY JANUARY SUCKS.
>> Greg: I GET IT, I GET IT.
[LAUGHS]
>> IT WAS FIVE WHOLE DAYS.
>> Greg: YOU THINK THIS STORY
IS A MICROCOSM OF THIS WOMAN IS
MORE DISTAL EXAMPLE OF HOW THIS
COVID PANIC HAS JUST CHANGED
PEOPLE, FREAKING PEOPLE OUT SHE
ACTUALLY PUT HER KID IN THE
TRUNK OF A CAR BECAUSE SHE
PANICKED OVER COVID.
>> IF YOU HEARD THAT DONE THAT
TO A DOG PEOPLE WOULD’VE GONE
BERSERK.
SHE HAD DONE THAT TO AN ANIMAL
PEOPLE WOULD’VE GONE BERSERK AND
IT IS A STUPID THING TO DO
BECAUSE HER CHOICES ARE KID IN A
TRUNK OR A SKI RACK THING THAT’S
CALLED A MITT ROMNEY.
HE WENT NUTS BECAUSE HE HAD A
DOG AND A CARRIER AND HE ALSO
PREGNANCY BECAUSE OF THAT
BINDERS FULL OF WOMEN DON’T EVEN
KNOW WHY CS THIS IS ONE OF THOSE
NEW STORIES I’M NOSING IN A
WEIRD PATTERN.
SEE THE HEADLINE AND YOU WILL
THINK TO BE A TEACHER.
THEY HAVE TOO MUCH TIME ON THEIR
HANDS NOTHING TEACHER HAS GONE
THROUGH THIS EROSION OF
CONFIDENCE THAT WE’VE SEEN FOR
DOCTORS AND POLITICIANS AND THEN
YOU SEE SOME BLUE HERE LUNATIC
HAVING A CRYING FIT ON TICK-TOCK
THE THINK MAYBE WE CAN GO BACK.
>> Greg: THAT IS A REALLY GOOD
POINT AND THAT TICK-TOCK HAS
TAUGHT ME MORE ABOUT EDUCATION
BECAUSE ALL I SEE ARE PEOPLE
SAYING SOME REALLY WEIRD STUFF
ON THERE.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT, I TELL MY
KIDS WILL MY GENDER IS.
I’M GENDER FLUID.
THEY ARE NUTS MUST BE ACTUALLY
DOING THAT AND THANK YOU
TICK-TOCK FOR SHOWING ME THAT
THESE PEOPLE ARE CRAZY.
COREY HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE
WHOLE SCHOOL CHOICE THING ABOUT
THERE IS A MOVEMENT GOING ON NOW
TO SEPARATE THE MONEY AWAY FROM
THE SCHOOLS AND WITH THE MONEY
FOLLOWED THE STUDENT YOU ARE
RUNNING FOR OFFICE, HOW DO YOU
SIT ON THIS?
>> ONE OF THE THINGS THAT HAS
BEEN GOING ON FOR YEARS IS THAT
CONGRESS HAS BEEN RUNNING BLIND
CHECKS.
WERE PUTTING BILLIONS, BILLIONS
INTO PREVENTION FOR ALL THE
SCHOOLS, AND YET WE ARE STILL
BEING SHUT DOWN AND THE SCHOOL
BOARDS ARE TRYING TO RUN
AUTONOMOUSLY WITHOUT ANY INPUT.
THE WHOLE THING IS THAT YOU’RE
NOT INCENTIVIZING THE SCHOOLS TO
MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICES COME
YOU’RE NOT INCENTIVIZING THEM TO
BE BETTER TO ACTUALLY TEACH.
YOU ARE ENABLING THEM TO HAVE
THIS TYPE OF INDOCTRINATION SHOW
UP WHEN THEY WANT BECAUSE
THEY’VE ULTIMATE CONTROL.
I BELIEVE IN THE IDEA THAT THE
MONEY SHOULD FOLLOW THE CHILD.
IT SHOULD BE BASED ON IF YOU
LIVE IN A CERTAIN NEIGHBORHOOD
WE HAVE A CERTAIN COMMUNITY THAT
YOU ARE IN YOU THAT YOU ARE
FORCED TO GO TO THE SCHOOLS.
IT SHOULD BE REALLY WHAT’S BEST
FOR YOUR CHILD.
ENCOURAGES SCHOOLS TO SAY, WAIT
A SECOND WE DON’T HAVE ANY
MONEY.
WE ARE HAVING TO LAY OFF PEOPLE.
WE NEED TO UPDATE EVERYTHING SO
WE CAN GET KIDS TO COME BACK TO
OUR SCHOOLS AND THAT’S WHAT WE
NEED TO BE AT.
>> Greg: WOULD TERMS THE
PARENT INTO THE CUSTOMER JUST
HOW IT SHOULD BE WITH EVERY
THING ELSE IN LIFE.
YOU ARE A CUSTOMER, YOU NEED TO
BE, YOU NEED TO BE ATTRACTED TO
THE THING AND THEY DON’T HAVE TO
ATTRACT YOU IF THEY ALREADY HAVE
YOUR MONEY.
YOU’VE ALREADY PAID FOR ANY TIME
THAT YOU’VE ALREADY PAID FOR
SOMETHING.
WHEN YOU CALL THAT?
AND ALL-INCLUSIVE, THANK YOU.
AND ALL-INCLUSIVE THING AND YOU
SHOW UP AND THEN THE SERVICE IS
BAD BECAUSE YORTY PAY FOR THE
SERVICE RIGHT?
>> I HAVE SEEN THAT HAPPEN.
[LAUGHS]
WE OBVIOUSLY NEED MORE OPTIONS,
THE GOVERNMENT COULD BE DOING
THE WORST JOB.
I DON’T HAVE KIDS ANIMAL FOR
EVER WILL.
YOU DON’T SPEND THAT MUCH TIME
WITH THEM.
AND US WILL SPEND THAT MUCH TIME
WITH THEM.
I’VE BEEN AROUND KIDS BEFORE.
THAT IS BEEN ENOUGH SO FAR.
I CAN IMAGINE HOW, OR IF I
WOULD’VE BEEN ABLE TO DO A DRIVE
FIVE DAYS IN JANUARY.
>> Greg: DO YOU THINK THE
CAUSE OF ALCOHOLISM IS CHILDREN?
>> I THINK WE SHIP AND THEN ON
KIDS.
LET’S PUT ME ON RECORD FOR
SAYING THAT.
[LAUGHS]
>> I SHOULD DRINK NOW THAT I DO
IN MY 20s.
SPEAK TO YOU ONLY HAD FOUR KIDS
IN YOUR 20s.
[LAUGHS]
>> ALCOHOL IS USUALLY THE CAUSE