hey everyone and welcome to top think today we're going to learn about 15 signs of psychological
manipulation now let's begin how do you know when someone is manipulating you well manipulative
people use small subtle bits of deception to control your behavior they change their
language they tell convincing lies and if you're not careful a manipulative person can take over
your life but if you know what to look for you can catch these puppet masters in the act here are
15 signs that you've got a manipulative person in your life number one irresponsible understatements
manipulator lies to make themselves look better they want sympathy attention and support so they
take liberties with the truth they rewrite history so they look like the victim here's a common lie
that many manipulators tell say your friend got in a car accident they ran a red light and smashed
into another driver but when your friend tells the story they did nothing wrong they claim the other
driver wasn't paying attention they act like they were the victim of someone else's mistake
but that's not really how it happened manipulators don't take responsibility for their mistakes
they understate their own failures and they pass the blame every chance they get
if your friend refuses to take responsibility don't feel sorry for them
your friend is rewriting history they're trying to manipulate you so don't fall for their tricks
number two heroic exaggerations manipulators hide their failures but they also exaggerate
their successes alright let's say your friend wins a contest it's a notable achievement
so they start bragging to everyone who will listen but each time they tell the story the
stakes get a little bit higher now at first they won a small local contest then it's a national
competition and all of a sudden it's a tournament between the best players around the world
manipulative people exaggerate their successes for the same reason they understate their failures
they want to make themselves look better in this case they want to look like a hero
they want to be impressive and bask in the admiration of others they want as much
attention as they can get so they lie so if you know someone who oversells the truth take their
bragging with a grain of salt there's a good chance their stories are more fiction than fact
number three time constraints manipulators put you on the back foot they want to rush your decisions
because time is their enemy but just think about it when you have to decide something quickly
you rely on impulses assumptions and gut feelings but when you have time to think carefully you can
do your research and use sound judgment puppet masters try to rush you they'll create unnecessary
time constraints they'll act like every offer is limited and disappearing fast but that's rarely
the case don't let anyone rush your choices those time constraints aren't real it's just a tactic
manipulators use to cloud your judgment so stay strong take your time and make good decisions
number four aggressive bullying not all manipulators are subtle and strategic
some manipulative people use intimidation to get their way a manipulative person may for
example raise their voice or display aggressive body language they'll use fear to control you
these manipulators are bullies the worst thing you can do is give in just because someone raises
their voice doesn't mean they should get their way that's what manipulative people are accustomed to
and that's why they bully others so stand up for yourself and don't let anyone push you around
number five spatial dominance here's one sign that most people don't think about did
you know that manipulative people use space to their advantage space gives you power in
your house for example you have the most power you own everything you know where everything
is and a stranger by comparison feels out of place psychological manipulators use space
to exert their power they force other people to enter their space because they want to maintain
a sense of superiority now of course a manipulator will never say that out loud they'll make up an
excuse like i'm too tired can you come over to my place on the surface it's an innocent
request but if your friend refuses to leave their own space they may be trying to manipulate you
number six mood killers manipulators are self-absorbed they only care about how they
feel so they don't like anyone feeling better or worse than they do if a manipulator is in a good
mood they'll criticize anyone who's bringing them down on the other hand if they're in a
bad mood they'll bring everyone down with them they think no one can be happy unless i'm happy
do you know someone who brings the whole room down it may not feel like manipulation but it is
and you shouldn't stand for it number seven expressive guilt manipulative people find
faults in everyone but they hate when others find faults in them alright let's say your friend is
taking advantage of you maybe they've been asking for favors way too often you've tried to be nice
about it but it's starting to wear on you so you decide to confront them instead of apologizing
your friend says i'm really disappointed in you i thought we were better friends than that
now you feel like the bad guy you feel guilty but you're not your friend is manipulating you
they're spinning your story to preserve their own image this is one big way that manipulative
people control others they weaponize guilt to keep others under their thumb but you have nothing to
feel guilty about the more you beat yourself up the easier it is for someone to control you
number eight competitive one-upping manipulators don't like to be outdone if they think they're
being overshadowed they'll tear you down they'll undermine your accomplishments and sabotage your
success because manipulators don't care how you feel they just want to be on top
oddly enough manipulators do the same thing with pain hardship and trauma they don't want anyone
to fly higher or fall lower than they have a manipulative person may compete with you to
see who suffered more okay let's say for example you didn't sleep well last night a manipulative
person will try to one-up you by saying well at least you slept i didn't sleep at all
in their mind everything is competition and they're too insecure to lose number nine creating
obligation manipulators thrive an emotional obligation they want others to owe them favors
they want people to feel compelled to help them so they create a sense of obligation everywhere they
go they may use pity and sympathy to pull on your heartstrings they may throw mistakes in your face
and the worst part is it usually works their guilt tripping creates that feeling of obligation and
you end up doing whatever they want as obligated as you may feel remember that you always have
a choice you may feel bad about leaving them out to dry but sometimes that's the right thing to do
number 10 invisible strings your manipulative friend may be the nicest person you know
they go out of their way to do favors for you or anticipate your needs there's always a catch
they expect something in return even if you didn't ask for their help maybe you
didn't want their help but you got it anyway now you're on the hook for things you didn't
sign up for if there are always strings attached you're dealing with psychological manipulation
number 11 special treatment manipulators treat themselves like a rare commodity
whenever you do something they don't like they threaten to take their friendship
away they say things like i don't have to hang out with you or i had better things to do today
real friends will never threaten you they're as grateful to have you as you are to have them
if you know someone who uses friendship like a bartering chip they're a manipulative person
number 12 the favor burden manipulative friends ask for plenty of favors but they rarely do them
if you ask them for a favor they'll find every reason to drag their feet they'll act like your
favor is the most difficult thing in the world they'll procrastinate and exaggerate because they
want to take advantage of you the more arduous your favor seems the more guilty you'll feel
and once you feel bad a manipulative person takes control number 13 rewriting history all
right let's say your friend shows up 15 minutes late for lunch the next day you ask them why they
were late and they say what are you talking about i was there right on time you know this isn't true
you remember them showing up late but they insist that you're wrong you're so confident
in what they're saying you start to doubt yourself you start to wonder am i remembering things wrong
if that happens the manipulator in your life is one they're trying to break your trust in yourself
they want you to doubt yourself and that way they have all the power
number 14 capitalizing on weaknesses manipulators use your secrets against
you whether it's a personal fear or a future aspiration secrets give manipulators an avenue
of attack a guaranteed weak spot whenever they see a chance to turn the tables they'll
throw those secrets in your face they'll hit you where it hurts because they know that they can
number 15 feigning innocents manipulators will do anything to avoid something they don't want to do
one of the most common tactics is playing dumb they act like they don't understand
what you want from them so they'll pretend to be innocent clueless or naive let's say
you and your co-worker are doing a project together you ask them to make a spreadsheet
for you but they say oh you're so much better at that stuff i'm clueless you know they've made
spreadsheets before but they pretend they can't do it that's how they manipulate you they act
like they're helpless because that helplessness surrenders responsibility suddenly you're doing
all the work while they're taking it easy all because they decided to play dumb hey thanks
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