My quest to unite the world's religions
may have failed, but I'm still waiting on someone
to tell me why religion even exists at all.
Someone's got to sell it to this atheist.
And when it comes to selling God,
no one does it like the Christians.
They've got missionaries hassling people about Jesus
around the globe.
So, I sat down with one, and he started his sales pitch
by telling me what his life would look like
if there was no God.
I would be a pirate. If there's no --
If God doesn't exist, I'm a pirate.
-A pirate? -Why not?
You do like you do. You just -- One-night stands.
You murder people. You do whatever you want.
You're on a boat with a whole lot of men.
How many one-night stands are there?
So, that's what you would do? See, I don't believe in God,
and I don't believe in rape, as well.
I don't believe you should murder people.
-I don't believe you should -- -Why? Why not?
'Cause it's wrong. Why would I take another --
Wrong by who? If you're just evolved sludge, it doesn't matter.
-I still have morals. -Whose morals are right?
No, there are right morals and wrong morals.
Maybe, maybe not.
Don't be a dick to people.
Why not be one?
-Because it's being a dick. -Well, so what?
All right, so you're saying that Christianity
is stopping people from doing bad things.
That's right.
So, if religion keeps people in line,
shouldn't
Well, according to the United Nations,
countries with the highest murder rates in the world
are also some of the most religious.
And the least murdery places,
like Sweden, Japan, and Norway, have loads of non-believers.
If you're in the business of running a church,
these are not good stats.
They need new asses in seats.
When they can't reach adults, they aim younger.
-Man: This is Jesus. -Hey-oh!
Why does Christianity market itself to kids?
Whether you're talking about religion
or whether you're talking about Happy Meals,
you want to get kids when they're young
so that they'll use it forever and ever and ever and ever.
My son, at 4, has to pledge to the flag under one God.
-He has to use those words. Children: "...under God."
He doesn't even know about God yet.
I haven't mentioned it to him. Why would I?
Why should he have to do that?
That seems to be, to me, something that is a rule,
something that you have to be made to do.
There was a man. He was called Noah.
Noah put two of each animal onto a great, big boat.
Who believes this happened?
Wrong.
Children shouldn't learn about God straight away
because you can't join the army at a young age
because your brain is not well-developed.
You can't smoke cigarettes or drink alcohol
or something before you reach a certain age
because you're not ready.
Except for your eternal life,
which we tell children about from age 2
and this is your decision.
It's a seed, like everything.
-Is there a hell? -Yes.
Now, what happens to children
who aren't privileged to be born into America?
So, a simple example --
Australia, where Christianity is substantially less.
[ Choir vocalizing ]
It's just a very remarkable thing
that children who grow up in a Christian society
are lucky enough to be born with the right God
to go to the right heaven, but if you're born
into a Muslim society, then you're going to hell
because you don't believe in the right god
and they believe in vice versa.
Why are those people disadvantaged?
Well, we send missionaries all over the world,
and there are Christians in every culture of the world.
-Yes. -Muslim ones keep it low-down
because they don't want to be killed for changing their religion,
but when the truth of the Gospel gets ahold of them
and they actually realize the reality of it
and the truth of it and they believe it, they're converted.
What I'm about to say here, I'm not trying to poke fun.
Sure.
The shooting in Las Vegas, where was God?
-In heaven. Here. -Why does he let that happen?
Why does he let children get cancer?
Well, it's one of the biggest questions there is.
You have a good God,
and you have a fallen world that does bad things.
Mm-hmm.
You think that guy was a churchgoing Christian
I do not think that.
I know there was many churchgoing Christians
who were shot and killed.
It was a country-music show.
Right, and the next second,
they opened their eyes in heaven, and they're facing God.
And their children are parentless down here, crying,
and their lives are ruined.
You know, I don't have all the answers for all those things
that are very difficult and we struggle with,
but the fact is, this is not the best of all possible worlds.
This is the path
Nah! Still not buying it.
"There is no answer" is not an answer!
Look, religious friends. I'll remind you again.
There's been an awful lot of invading, killing, bombing,
burning, raping, and shaming done in the name of God.
So, if you really want to convince me,
try cutting that shit out.
I'd even consider going to heaven and hanging out
with a bunch of boring Christians.
On one condition.
Are we in our best state?
Am I, like, Jim Jefferies 2002,
when I was, like, full head of hair, I was like 25.
I was rocking it out, right?
Or am I Jim Jefferies now?
Ugh...Bit fat.
Better teeth, sure.
You're gonna be your best, your absolute best.
Whatever God had intended for you,
that's what it will be.
So, what I'm hearing from you is another inch and a half.
[ Laughter ]