hello lovelies welcome to narc free formula my name is freedom thank you for joining me
um today's episode is about the five things that the narcissists will do when you discard
them first now before I start I just really if you liked my video please rooms you like subscribe the
channel and hit the bell notification so you don't miss upcoming episodes alright lovelies let's get
down to it so first of all I need to clarify we don't actually discard anyone because we are not
narcissist discard is a narc term okay that's what they do um we either break up with them leave them
or escape them well we don't discard so I just want to make that clear all right so there are
a few things that Isis will do if you make your getaway before they are ready to discard you and
this is the five things they will do in order I might add in order so the first thing they're
gonna do is pretend it didn't happen so you've had a fight you said you it's over we're done
broken up with them and then the next morning they're sitting on the couch or so nothing's
happened so everything's all good and dandy this is a narc tactic this is the whole if I
just pretend something is one way I'll make it that way so he fighters pretend the window not
broken up then we're not broken up and the thing is it's confusing for you because you just broken
up with someone and now they're acting as though you haven't it's gas like gas lighting and crazy
making because now you're wondering well maybe I wasn't very clear but the thing is you were clear
in that nose-down world you're trying to get away from them that it's not ready to let you get away
they don't have primary supply so secondary supply lined up to become primary supply and that's the
problem because if they had somewhere to go they would be going but they don't so essentially by
just using this tactic of lalala I can't hear you I can't hear you little I can't hear you
right ignoring it hoping it will go away alright so let's just say that you hold your ground and
keep on pushing on through with the break-up what happens next well they're going to try to
get you back into situations yep and this could look like begging so they could you know appeal
to you they could tell you everything you want to hear they can promise that they're going to
change that they really get it like they you know they didn't realize how close to losing you they
really were and how they will do anything and everything that you want as long as you take
them back you know so begging promising change there could be tears it could be guilt tripping
as well so they could do the whole what about the children no but the reality is if they gave two
shits about the children they wouldn't have done half of things they are doing you know most women
will put up with a lot for the children most women will stay relationships that are not serving them
that are not working for them that they have no place being in but they'll stay for the children
and thus this knows this this is why that is one of the first things that they will say if
you have children of course and if you don't have children they'll probably say something like you
know what about our future what about our family and I thought we were going to grow old together
and have children and you know grow together and so this you know future fake you sell you on the
dream again so there's guilt-tripping involved there's promising of change begging crying but
there may also be threatening you know knocks don't take know very well they're not used to
having people say no them essentially they're not used to having people stand up themselves not used
to you know us not doing what they want and so it comes a bit of a shock to them so when it finally
does process think a little bit mad little bit angry so it's easy to start threatening to start
being a bully to start shouting and to and they're doing it essentially to make you feel like it's
too much of a risk to break up with them like it would just be so much easier if we just go back
to when we were all lovey and everything was good and they kind of um they they'll do it in really
subtle ways but it's there so when they're raging mom minute crying another essentially what they're
trying to do is show you look you can go this way where I get angry and destroy [ __ ] well I can
go this way when I'm crying and begging and all you've got to do is say yes and everything will
be okay again and a lot of the time that works a lot of the time the fear of what may come next is
so great for some people that they will go back to the narcissist they will go back and put up
with more abuse because it just seems like there's nowhere to escape and it seems like the lesser of
the two options you know the lesser of the two evils you know better the devil you know and
they'll say that as well they will say you know no one will ever love you like I do you've never find
a man like me you know I know you better than anyone else no one love you like I do never be
you know the usual stuff but when you're in that situation when everyone's you know the tensions
are high emotions are high and you're just so drained and so stress you know it's easy to to
think well alright I'll just go back to them no I'll save all of this put myself through all of
this stress and anxiety so if the begging and the pleading and the promising of change doesn't work
the next thing that they all do is what I refer to as upping the ante so this is when they do their
fake suicide attempts this is when you get calls from the sheriff saying that your husband's been
arrested can you come and pick him up and bail him out this is when you get calls from the hospital
saying that you know he's been involved in a car accident or he's got into a fight at the pub so
basically there's a you know your typical kind of cry for help scenarios and essentially I said it's
just upping the ante it's the whole like I know that you hate me but I need you because without
you I'm gonna destroy myself without you you know I'm as good as dead I can't do this without you
so they're appealing on your mothering instincts they're appealing on your love and care for them
as an individual and as a human being you know you don't want to see them hurt like you try
to escape them sure but you don't want to see them hurt and they know that which is exactly
why they're doing it sorry I've got to fly I'm trying to say hello shoo beyond evil beast so yes
they will they will get arrested Oh she'll tell you they've got cancer you know some horrible
disease or they'll say things like um I I know that I have a problem you know and then you'll
hear some story about you know sexually abused as a child or their mother used to lock them in the
basement when they were naughty you'll hear some ridiculous story that is designed to appeal to
your sympathy to basically stop you from thinking about leaving and getting you focus back on them
again and how much they need you and you know how much they just can't survive in this big bad world
without you and funnily enough that's another trick that really works well I mean the thing
is all of these tricks or these narcissistic dark arts um all of them work which is why they do it
because all of these things work they appeal to our sense of love yeah you know we'll escape them
but we don't bad things to happen to them that's the problem is that we kind of care about them
more than we care about ourselves at this stage you know and that's just the way the narcissus
wants it all right so the fourth step is this so just say you've you know the Pretender didn't
work sorry pretended you didn't break up that didn't work then though begged and pleaded that
didn't work then they up the ante and you know effect suicide or whatever that didn't work so
the next thing is getting a new supply source so they get a new victim a new girlfriend whatever
and essentially this is this is in part to punish you it's also to fuel them because they need fuel
and they're getting seriously low on fuel by this age it's to distract them as well from any kind
of feelings that they might have going on but it's beautiful because it also makes you jealous and it
gives them the opportunity to triangulate you with the new victim so essentially they use her to make
you jealous and they use you to make her insecure and jealous and between the both of you that will
give them enough fuel to maintain themselves so this is this is a really typical nap dark art
getting a new supply and it's essentially just to say I saw you over me ie all right let's see how
over me you really are take that you know and see and you know and they sit back and watch they pay
up and you know they pay attention they observe but the reality is if you do not react the way
they want if you keep on leaving them you keep on walking in the opposite direction then you get to
step five and that is when they realize that you have nothing for them you have no love no
fuel no nothing so essentially you don't mean anything to them anymore because you you have
nothing to give them so in the narcissus mind if you don't have anything to give them essentially
that's pretty worthless so this is when you get to the final point which is destroy you've probably
all heard that saying in us this destroys what I can't control it's the same because
it's true the narcissus will now go out of its way to create a smear campaign about you and
attack you on all different levels using any tools they have available so you know you can
expect calls from everyone from the tax department to the RSPCA child-protection you could you can
expect things like your car to be damaged your property to be damaged you can expect things like
rumors whispers stories being told to your friends calls being made to your boss and your mother this
is what they do when you have no value anymore and all you do is remind them of the failure
you know because they see this as a failure their inability to maintain a fuel source the fact that
you escaped them has created a huge narcissistic injury wasn't supposed to go down like this it
was never supposed to go down like this and the joke all this is if at any step of these five
points you do actually go back to them they're not going to go off thank god she's back and I'll do
everything I can to make sure that never happens again no no oh no no no what they do is now they
go right she's leaving me I gotta find someone to replace her stat she could leave at any moment and
they're also thinking and who the [ __ ] does she think she is to leave me right so they start this
little denigrating of you in their mind so the D value goes into overdrive it may be subtle but
it's happening believe that it's happening and as it this is not your second chance this is not you
know you're possibly happily ever after no this is just what the narcissist more time to punish you
and to replace you and the thing is you could stay for years they will just keep on trying on new
people different situations different scenarios until you decided I can't do this anymore I can't
handle the cheating the line the insecurity the dishonesty you know the other women I you know
and you can't handle that anymore that's when you will end up walking away but they will keep you in
that situation now they could have good sources of supply coming and going but until their you
know until they feel like jumping they might just stay there they might just stay in that I
think it's called linear space there's a new word that I learned from my friend Tanya linear space
you know not quite here but not quite there you know the in-between zone betwixt in between and
they call it so essentially you could be in that space for years it doesn't just because you know
you've gone back to the narcissist just because you're still together doesn't mean a thing all it
means is you're in this devaluation stage while they are sourcing you supply frantically that's
what that means all right obvious so they are the five different us are the five things that
the Nasus is going to do if you discard them first I said we don't describe because when
all healthy human beings we break up with people we're skate predators we don't describe people
so on that night darlings this is for the people who are just coming out of their situation ships
I've created an app for Challenge and that's an online course and it's also a private Facebook
group just quickly I just want to go through some of the modules so if anyone who's interested in
doing the challenge I cover modules such as the NARC Dark Arts the rules of engagement
the NARC spheres and spaces are upping the ante flying monkeys and smear campaigns and the NARC
cycle explained spring cleaning and she lived happily ever after those are the modules that
I cover in the night free challenge and the point of the challenge is to not only help you
identify what you've just lived through or what you're experiencing it's to help you make sure
that that never happens to you again how having happen once in a lifetime is bad enough but there
are some people who go from one narcissistically abusive partner to the next literally one to the
next and they just think that's what people are like they just think that you know that all men
are evil all men of asses or you know that there's no good men but the thing is there are good men
they're definitely Huk with men but you're not going to find them if you date narcissists okay
so you need to learn how to identify them which is why I created the knock free challenge it's about
getting knocked free for life without having to commit murder I think that's a really important
a little note there no one wants to be going to jail over a narcissist all right lovelies thank
you for watching please remember to give it the thumbs up if video thumbs up share also widely
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to say leave in the comments you know always read them I love these thanks for watching