Welcome back to the Gentleman's Gazette!
In today's video we'll be discussing superlatives in speech.
What they are, how they may negatively be affecting people's perceptions of you and
some tips and tricks you can use to improve your speech patterns in the future.
So first we need to establish what a superlative is.
A superlative is a part of speech usually an adjective or adverb that is expressing
the utmost or highest in quality.
Some examples of superlatives would include bravest, most fiercely or most nervous, like
I am right now given that this is one of my first videos for the channel.
More generally, a superlative can also refer to an exaggerated expression of praise such
as the best thing ever.
This is the type of superlative we'll be talking about more in depth today.
These types of superlatives are definitely becoming more common as a sort of conversational
crutch.
Many people these days especially Americans and particularly people under the age of 30
are using these kinds of superlatives to describe really any opinion they might have on any
subject at this point.
For example something like, "I saw this picture on Instagram, it was the funniest thing I've
ever seen!"
So you may be asking why do these superlatives matter?
Our answer is that using superlatives this much robs our conversations of three things:
variety, specificity and veracity.
Those may be fairly large vocabulary words but we'll give definitions too.
The first thing is variety. As you might well imagine there are all kinds of other words
in the English language that we can use to describe things aside from simply, best or
worst.
For example if you were to use words like sweetest, largest or coldest even these things
while they're not necessarily complex provide much more detail than just best or worst.
Of course you could always default to the old stand by most amazing f**king thing ever!
Just kidding.
Next is specificity. If you use other words aside from just best and worst not only does
it add more variety but you can make your point much more clearly.
It's always helpful for the listener if you can provide a more nuanced position in your
speech.
That way things aren't just as clear as mud.
Let's say for example instead of saying that was the best chili I've ever had.
You can say that was the most flavorful, spiciest chili I've ever had.
That way people know that you enjoyed it but they also know specifically why.
Last of these three points is veracity and this is the one we feel superlatives really
hit the hardest.
If you overuse superlatives in your speech it will eventually diminish your trustworthiness
among your peers. If you're using these words all the time they're going to lose their impact
so people will stop listening to what you're saying.
As you can tell by now we think that avoidance of superlatives is one of the hallmarks of
speaking like a gentleman.
In a previous video on how to speak like a gentleman, we briefly touched on superlatives
and we also covered a variety of other conversational topics.
You can check that video out here.
In a nutshell we think that being a gentleman is an aspiration that every man can achieve
and it's not tied to wealth or status.
On that note how you speak is something you have direct control over.
You can change it.
Another reason to avoid superlatives is because they interfere with your ability to make reasoned
arguments and have nuanced opinions.
After all when someone offers their opinion, their end goal is usually to try to convince
their listener of their own point of view.
For example instead of saying, "You have to see this awesome movie I just saw!"
It provides a little bit more interest to say, "I just saw a really tense psychological
drama I think you should check it out!"
Of course if you have natural charisma when speaking this goes a long way but supplementing
that with some rhetorical skill can definitely help you in the long run.
Try to demonstrate that your opinion is carefully considered and that it's coming from a place
of experience.
That way your listener will be that much more likely to trust you.
After all it's definitely more relatable to give people your own experiences rather than
just gossiping about what Lisa down the block thought of something.
Another way to say this is that superlatives make your reasoning seem cheap and simplistic
and therefore untrustworthy.
Another example is saying that something is the "best in the world."
Well if you haven't been all around the world to have multiple examples you really don't
know if it's the best in the world or not and other people might pick up on the fact
that you might not know what you're talking about.
So make an effort to observe the complexities and things like art or sports and use a nuanced
vocabulary to describe just how you feel about them.
Something like the defense in that baseball game had me on the edge of my seat the whole
time.
This may put you in mind of the old story of the boy who cried wolf.
Put this way the more you use superlatives the less likely people are going to pay attention
to what you say.
Here's an important subset of using superlatives.
The words love and hate.
Especially in American culture these two words are used all the time even though if you think
about it they're pretty extreme.
For example, if you say "I love ice cream!"
Really?
Do you love ice cream?
You might love your family, it's probably more likely that you simply enjoy ice cream
very much.
To put that another way if you truly do love someone or something maybe it's best not to
put them in the same linguistic category as a simple dessert.
If you love everything about which you feel positively, that's kind of another way of
saying you don't really love anything.
There's no nuance to your emotions.
Of course all of these points are the same for the use of hate as well.
Think of it this way, do you really love Cheetos as much as you love your grandma?
Probably not especially because a bag of Cheetos isn't going tosend you $20 on your birthday.
So now that you know what superlatives are, here are a few of our tips and tricks on how
you can avoid using them in the future.
First take a day to observe how many superlatives you use yourself or how many you hear in daily
life.
For example if you turn on the radio and the DJ says, "the best mix of hard rock," count
that as one.
If you step outside your car and think to yourself, "this is the hottest day ever,"
that's two.
Or you might hear somebody say, "Man, trap music is the best genre ever!"
I know jazz is best!
Next take a day to observe all the things you say that you love or hate regardless of
the context or how you might have meant it in the moment.
For example, you might say I love pizza, I love my new smartphone app or I love this
yoga class I've been taking!
After a while take some time to examine this list.
When were you being truly genuine and when were you needlessly exaggerating.
After observing these habits make an effort to try to construct your sentences differently
and with more nuance in the future.
There are several ways of course to increase your vocabulary.
For example, you could pick up a word of the day calendar, try to read more books, listen
to more radio, anywhere that people are using words you might not already be familiar with.
Here's another helpful tip, come to the Gentleman's Gazette YouTube channel and watch more of
my videos!
To wrap up, our philosophy on this topic is simple.
If you want to be a more genuine person you have to speak genuinely.
As we mentioned at the beginning of the video, increasing your vocabulary doesn't have to
come across as pretentious or elitist as long as you're doing it for the right reasons.
In other words, don't use complex vocabulary just to seem superficially smarter than those
around you.
You should look at this as an activity for self-improvement.
Think about it this way, your new vocabulary should ultimately make you seem more genuine
not less.
In conclusion, say what you mean and mean what you say.
Well there it is, my first solo video for the channel!
Personally I think I was pretty nervous and stilted toward
the beginning.
How about you?
Whatever you think put it in the comments below.
As always be sure to subscribe to the channel, that way when Raphael publishes a video soon
you can take the taste of this one out of your mouth.
In today's video, I'm wearing a blue grey needlepoint sport coat from Ralph Lauren.
The trousers are almost the same color but they're a little darker so it helps to separate
the outfit.
The shirt is from Charles Tyrwhitt, it's got blue and green stripes which helps to give
an overall teal feel when you're looking at it from a distance.
I often get shirts from Charles Tyrwhitt because you can get them in a multibuy and they're
often on sale.
For someone of my age who's working on a more limited budget this is usually a good option.
I'm wearing a pair of light blue socks which complement the shirt and my shoes are a pair
of dark oxblood penny loafers.
My bow tie as well as my accessories including boutonniere, pocket square and cufflinks are
all from Fort Belvedere.
It's a funny thing, after I joined the Gentleman's Gazette my supply of Fort Belvedere products
increased dramatically!
Who'd have thought?
The bow tie is shantung silk and because it's a bright orange and green combination I tried
to pick those colors up in the pocket square but to a slightly more muted degree.
The boutonniere is small and in a similarly muted color because I didn't want something
overly loud or ostentatious especially when paired with the tie and pocket square.
The pocket square picks up the orange and green as well as the blue that's featured
in most places elsewhere around the outfit.