Are you dealing with a narcissist and the smear campaign is in full bloom
and want to know how to shut it down. That's what I'm going to tell you about in this video.
Hi, I'm Rebecca Zung. I have been recognized as one of the top 1% of attorneys in the country,
and I've written a couple of best-selling books, Negotiate Like YOU M.A.T.T.E.R and Breaking Free:
A Step-by-Step Divorce Guide. And most importantly, what I know how to do is shut down
narcissists. What I know how to do is help you get out of the relationship with a narcissist in a way
that allows you to feel whole and complete and ready to begin a new beginning and a new future.
So, if that all sounds good to you and you want to know more, then you should go ahead and subscribe
and hit the notification bell. And that way you'll get notified when I upload new content.
Okay, so you're in the discard phase with a narcissist, and this is where you start to
see the birth of the smear campaign. So, what's happening is a narcissist is starting to see
that maybe the end is near and sometimes it even happens six months, or a year ahead of
time. Sometimes it even happens while you're still in relationship with narcissists, but they want to
start to smear you because they want to get the edge. It's kind of part of their triangulation
phase as well. So what happens in a smear campaign is the narcissist starts to go to other people
and say things about you that leaves the other person, the listener with the idea
that maybe there's something wrong with you. That you're not what they thought you were,
that you are a bad person in some way, or maybe that the narcissist is a victim
of something bad that you've done to them. They're trying to line up their flying monkeys so that
these flying monkeys believe that the narcissist is a good person and that you are a bad person
and it especially happens in the discard phase. And if they're more of a covert narcissist,
they might start to say things many months ahead of time like, "Oh,
she forgot about the kids and didn't feed them dinner, but she's got so much going on." And
kind of a good thing about you, but also sort of like a smearing of you, something like that.
If you're dealing with an in-law, then that mother-in-law might say to somebody else like,
"Oh, I don't know why she insists on keeping my son away from me." When maybe that person
never did anything to the mother-in-law, but the mother-in-law wants people to believe
that there is a problem. Maybe they're not taking good care of the kids, or something like that.
They just start to embed little seeds of doubt in other people's minds that say, "Maybe there's
something wrong with this person, or I've heard things about this person." And we as human beings,
we tend to take all of that stuff in. That's why National Enquirer and all of these
kind of more smutty sort of magazines, they say things about celebrities like so-and-so was drunk
in public, in a bar and it could be completely wrong. It could be that they weren't even at
that bar, or maybe they just showed up over there and had one drink and left,
but it becomes this story. And now there's that seed of doubt. Now, every time you see that actor,
or actress, you think, "Hmm, wonder if that person has a drinking problem. I heard that
person has a drinking problem." And especially if it gets picked up by some media that ends up being
more reputable or whatever, and the same thing happens in a smear campaign with narcissist,
they end up just saying just enough, they really master, is it saying just enough, sprinkling in a
few kernels of truth so that it sounds believable. It sounds plausible. That seems to be what's
actually going on there. And so they will do this so that they can try to get control over you
or try to take you down, try to break you in some way, try to make you go crazy. All of
those things that they try to do to get their narcissistic supply, they got to get that hit
of narcissistic supply. And if you want to know more about narcissistic supply,
check out my video on narcissistic supply, it's their lifeblood. It's what they need
to live on. So, one of the things that you can do to shut down their smear campaign is really
to just ignore it and just not give it any life, don't feed the fire. Don't go back to the other
person and try to correct things or whatever. If they're saying things in court, let's say they
said things in a pleading, or in a motion, or something like that, you can respond in a way
that you need to respond to maybe formally with a denial in a pleading or something like that.
Or you can potentially wait until you have to testify or be in a deposition and then
allow your attorney to ask the proper questions to elicit your response so that you can actually
respond to whatever it is that they might have said if it's necessary to even respond.
But sometimes they can send you this super long email about how you are a deadbeat, or a
drug abuser, or a wife-beater, or whatever it is that they're saying. And then maybe there's
one kernel in there of something that you need to respond to, like what time to pick up the kids or
something. And you can just say, "I deny all of your allegations. I'm in receipt of your email.
I deny all of your allegations. Thank you very much. I will see you on Wednesday at three to
pick up the kids." And just leave it like that. And don't feel like you have to respond to every
single thing that they say, because if you do, then you get sucked into the mud. You get sucked
into the vortex and now you're in it. And now your emotions are running wild. Now they've got that
narcissistic supply that they're looking for. So just for the most part, just ignore it. And it's
really, really hard. And I've had to do this. I've had a couple of narcissists that have targeted me,
and I know that smear campaigns have gone on, and I've just made a decision that I can't control
what the narcissist is going to say to other people.
There's no way other than maybe duct-taping their mouth and putting, shoving them in the basement
that you can never stop them from saying what they're going to say. They're just awful people,
so you can't control them, but you can control your response to it.
And so just ignore them and understand that they're going to do what they're going to do,
but you can also do what you're going to do. And so if you are so ready to shut down
the narcissist smear campaign, give me a shut them down in the comments. All right,
the next thing that you can do to shut down a narcissist smear campaign is create your own life,
create your own new beginning, create your own new future, and just move forward. And don't give that
any power, or any more energy by creating your own new life. One of the things that I learned
how to do to pivot was I realized that as long as I'm thinking about what the narcissist is saying,
doing, or engaging in, I am not in creation mode. I am not doing something that serves my soul and
serves humanity and serves the world. And that's our purpose here on this planet.
We are here to grow, to learn, to expand into the best versions of ourselves.
And if you are mired in what is the narcissist doing and all up in that, first of all, it doesn't
allow you to be in creation mode, or positive mode because you can't be in both at the same time.
But second of all, quantum law tells us that what you think about multiplies, what you appreciate,
appreciates. And so if you're thinking about what that narcissist is doing, saying, and engaging in
you are going to get more of that into your life, like attracts like. It's a law of physics and your
thoughts are energy. So as long as you're giving energy to those thoughts, you're going to get more
of that. You're going to get more of whatever it is that you're thinking about in your life.
So start doing what you need to do to have gratitude for the wonderful things that are
happening in your life and just start pivoting. It's like soon as you find yourself thinking about
what that narcissist is doing. I want you to just stop and go, "Oh my God, there I am. I'm thinking
about this. Let me think about something else. Let me pivot towards something else. Let me have
this project that I'm working on." Write that book that you've always wanted to write, create
that charity you've always wanted to create, or do whatever it is that you need to do to focus
yourself on something amazing and positive. Maybe it's taking your experience with this narcissist
that you're dealing with and helping other people. Start a blog or something like that.
Start a support group, get yourself into a place where you can start being in a more positive mode.
I do have a private Facebook group, join that. That will help you as well, help you pivot. It's
called, Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung. And you can definitely join that and start to get
yourself into a positive mode of thinking instead of that negative mode of thinking.
And that is one way to really shut down that narcissist smear campaign, because once you're
no longer giving them supply, then they're no longer going to be interested. They're just like
predators looking for supply everywhere they can. And if they're not getting it from you,
then they won't be interested anymore. They will want to have to go get it from somewhere else.
Okay. And if you are getting ready to negotiate with a narcissist,
make sure to grab my free, Crush My Negotiation, prep worksheet at winmynegotiation.com. You
definitely can do this. It's just a matter of mind over matter and just take one step at a time.
And that's what I'm here to help you do. So if you liked this video, give it a like also make
sure to share it so that others who are dealing with narcissists can get this information. One
in 10 people are narcissists. They are hurting a lot of people in this world. I've had to deal with
it. You're having to deal with it. So are others. So make sure to share it and drop me that comment.
And also if you liked all the content on this channel and you are finding it helpful,
then go ahead and subscribe and hit that notification bell.
I'm Rebecca Zung, I'm so glad that you stopped by my channel today,
and I wish you light, strength, peace, and love. And remember today is a great day to
start negotiating your best life. So let's do this together and I'll see you in the next video.