("Hail to the Chief" playing)
Wow. Unbelievable.
What an incredible crowd.
What great little kids.
I wanted to come here because education is so important,
and we want to make sure that the school is good for you.
We think you guys can go without lunch.
You don't need lunch. You know you don't need lunch.
And we want to shorten the school day.
'Cause we can't afford to fund the schools.
All right, great. All right, well, such fun.
Wonderful kids.
Okay, Bridget, I'm done. Let's go.
-Uh, sir? Sir? -Thank you so much.
-WOMAN: Excuse me, sir, -Wonderful time. Great time.
No, no, no, no. Sir?
Remember? You're supposed to read to the kids?
All right. Let's read this.
This is an incredible book
called
I filmed this book cover in a forest.
Look at that guy. So handsome.
"I call Ivan Boesky.
"Boesky's an arbitrageur.
My idea is to hire Steve Rubell and Ian Schrager..."
You guys know who they are.
"...the creators of Studio 54 and the Palladium."
What is it, kid?
Who are they?
They are incredible real estate guys
who owned Studio 54, and that's a place
where you could do
Yeah, "what the heck" is right.
-Fake children. Fake children. -No. We are not!
-Fake children. -No. We're not fake.
Fake children.
Play with the kids?
What's fun about them?
Now, first off, you're the foreman.
Okay? You're the chief electrician.
Now, this is a contract, okay?
Now, this guy, he's gonna want to take a kickback
for everything you do.
Now, bring me three yellow ones.
The yellows are the illegals that we hire to do the job
that the guys in workman comp won't.
And that's the way to treat an illegal--
just throw 'em right on there.
So these guys are gonna do the work.
The foreman's gonna get a kickback,
but he's gonna have to pay the Mob guys.
Now, the Mob guys, they talk to me, okay?
Only me.
This is what's so much fun about building-- are you kidding me?
Oh, no! Oh, no.
-GIRL: Let's build it bigger. -But this is fine.
We can claim insurance on that.
See, now, we could just claim a bankruptcy
against the construction costs.
Then we can sue to lower the costs,
make $40 million off a building we don't even build.
Then take my name
and just slap it on the front of this building.
We don't even need to construct it.
And that's how business works.
Now, I'm thinking about creating a mass deportation program,
where we're gonna take people who are illegal immigrants,
separate them from their families
and ship them to other countries.
What do you think of that?
-No. Don't do that. -You shouldn't take them away
from their parents.
What do I do about that?
You could just keep them here.
Sir, do you want to go, or are you, uh...?
-Excuse me? -I'm s...
Mike, get out of here.
-We're making beads. -Sorry, sir. Sorry.
Unbelievable. You know, you got to have a best friend, right?
But, boy, they can get on your nerves.
-You know what I mean? -Yeah.
Mike's always like, sir, this, sir, that.
Oh, sir, don't do that. Sir, sir, pull your pants up.
-PENCE: Sir, I can hear you. -All right, good.
-Okay. -Maybe you'll take the note.
Anyway, I want to give you a friendship bracelet
that I've made for you.
Annabelle, I give you this friendship bracelet
because you're now my new best friend
and my only best friend in the world.
Everybody else, including the last person I was talking to,
is no longer my best friend.
-(Trump clears throat) -Yes, sir.
♪ ♪
Red light, green light, one, two, three.
Red light!
Green light.
Red light!
(indistinct shouts)
♪ ♪
TRUMP: Yay, yay, yay.
Yay, yay, yay, yay.
That's right. Watch it, kid.
There we go. You can stay up on it.
-Sir. Sir, we have to get going. -(school bell rings)
-What? -We have to get going, Sir.
-I don't want to go. -I know, but it's time to go.
-I don't want to go, Mike. -But it's time to go.
-I don't want to go! -Sir, it's time to go.
-I don't want to go! -Let's go.
-I don't want to go! -Come on, it's time.
I know you're having fun, but it's time to go.
-Come on, let's go. -(Trump sobbing)
Let's go, come on.
Drop the ball, give the ball to someone else.
-I don't want to go! -Give the ball to someone else.
-Give the ball to someone else. -I don't want to go!
Mr. President, give the ball to someone else.
-I don't want to go. -Give it to someone else.
-Give it to someone else. -I don't want to go.
-Here. No, no. Don't do that. -I don't want to go.
Here. He's your ball, thank you.
-It's okay, it's okay. -(Trump sobbing)
It's okay.
We have to talk to the president of Argentina.
Let's go.
-We have to talk -I don't care.
-to the president of Argentina. -I don't want to go.
I don't want to go!
You had a lot of fun.
We had a lot of fun.
-We had a lot of fun. -(Trump moaning)
Nope.
-My friendship bracelet! -Okay, thank you so much.
You're the president of the United States.
-Let's go. -(kids laughing)
(Trump groans)
-CHILD: See ya. -You didn't see that.
That didn't happen.
Thank you very much.
TRUMP (crying): Mike.