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So, you're at a party
when you notice a very attractive individual
is looking your way.
You're not the best at conversation starters
and pickup lines.
Deep down you just wish the person you admire
would make their way over to you.
How can you grab their attention
and attract them to do so?
Well, there are a few ways.
Here's how to attract someone without saying anything.
Number one, show you're open to talking
by using open body language.
People approach others more easily
if they simply look, well, approachable.
Show you're open to dating them
with a bit of open body language.
"Dr. Monica Moore, a psychologist
at Webster University in St. Louis,
has conducted research on the flirting techniques
used in singles bars, shopping malls,
and places young people go to meet each other,"
author, Nicholas Boothman, writes in his book,
"How to Make Someone Fall in Love With You
in 90 Minutes or Less."
The author notes that psychologist Dr. Monica Moore
found that it's not always the good-looking
who get approached the most,
but the ones who signal their availability and confidence
through basic flirting techniques,
like eye contact and smiles.
Just signaling your interest in someone
gets you halfway there.
Keep your chest and torso open
and try not to cross your arms as much.
Closed body language can give off the impression
you aren't available or simply don't want to talk.
So maintain confidence and open body language
and, when you notice someone looking at you,
don't shy away, simply respond with a smile.
Number two, maintain good grooming and dress to impress.
Dressing nice and being well-groomed
is an easy way to get someone to notice you.
It can be admirable to see someone very well put together.
And having great hygiene
is an attractive quality in and of itself.
Express who you are
by wearing what makes you feel confident and happy.
If you feel like you,
you'll probably feel more comfortable
and approachable to others.
Number three, look into their eyes
and maintain good eye contact.
So, your crush just looked your way
and now you've met their gaze.
Maintain good eye contact
and don't be afraid to smile back.
Harvard psychologist, Zick Rubin conducted a study
where he recorded how much time
lovers would spend looking into each other's eyes.
He found that individuals who are not in love
looked at each other 30 to 60% of the time,
while couples deeply in love
stared into each other's eyes
75% of the time when talking.
When someone else entered the room
or interrupted them,
they were much slower to turn away
from their partner's gaze.
So, it's best to meet their gaze
as opposed to turning away quickly.
If you're both in a group discussion,
meeting their eyes every now and then,
may key them into the idea that you find them attractive.
When you do approach them,
try to look into their eyes
75% of the time when you're talking.
The brain remembers the last time
someone they loved stared at them in the same way.
They will associate this stare with feelings of love.
Why?
Well, this lovely memory
causes a release of phenylethylamine,
which is known as a love drug.
Phenylethylamine is released in the brain
when someone falls in love.
The chemical too, mimics the brain chemistry
of someone who is deeply in love.
Number four, smile.
Do you like smiling?
Let those pearly whites show.
A study published
in the "Bulletin of the Psychonomic Society"
found smiling might just make you more attractive.
According to the study, women in the experiment
who smiled 70% of the time
were seen as more interpersonally attractive
than a woman who seldom smiled.
So, remember to give a gentle smile
when you do meet their eyes.
Number five, join a club they're in
and try activities they enjoy.
So, how else can you attract someone?
Let's say you have a crush on a classmate
and you notice they're part of the school band,
pick up some sheet music
and get practicing on that tuba.
Maybe they could teach you a few measures
of their favorite piece.
The thing is, our brains are motivated
to spend more time around those we like
so we might as well do so by engaging in a hobby with them.
According to dating psychologist,
Madeleine Mason Roantree,
the reward system in our brains
can increase our motivation
to spend more time with whoever we like.
If we enjoy being around them,
why wouldn't we want to hang out with them more?
She explains that you may
just start to crave their presence.
It's not uncommon for people to take up hobbies
or enroll in activities
that their crush is part of
to be closer to them,
even if they weren't initially into the hobby
or activity itself before.
Roantree explains, it also gives you something else
that you can talk to them about.
And perhaps it's a way to entice them to get closer to you.
So, once you discuss with them their hobbies and clubs,
invite them to try your activities that you love as well.
And number six, hang out with a group of friends.
Research shows that people tend to find others
more attractive when they're in groups
rather than on their own.
This idea is called the cheerleader effect
and has been proven through tests
by a psychologist to be consistent.
Researchers Edward Vul and Drew Walker
of the University of California, San Diego,
conducted five experiments
where subjects would rate people
based on photographs of them.
They found that subjects rated people more attractive
when they were pictured in a group of the same gender
compared to an individual photograph
of someone pictured alone.
As the study suggests,
individual faces will seem more attractive
when presented in a group.
Because they'll appear more similar
to the average group face,
which is more attractive
than group members' individual faces.
So, if you see a charming individual at that party,
it might be worth it to get them to notice you first
while you're chatting with a group of friends.
Just make sure you're alone
or approachable at one point,
so they have a better chance to approach you.
And once they lock onto your eyes, don't shy away.
Uncross your arms, give them a smile,
and remember to wear deodorant
when you do go out on that date.
Because you will ask them out on a date, right?
You have to talk to them at some point.
We believe in you, you got this.
So, how will you attract someone
before ever saying a word to them?
A smile?
A group of friends by your side?
A shower?
Let us know in the comments down below.
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