- Hey everybody, happy Monday.
In a recent Patreon livestream I received many questions
about taking care of our mental health and making progress
in therapy while still stuck at home and I get it,
things are different.
We aren't able to see our therapist in person
or do many of the things we counted on to help,
like getting together with friends, going to church
or taking an art class, for example.
It's hard and trust me,
I have been reworking distraction plans
and suicide prevention plans with my patients
to better reflect what they now have access to,
so let's get into this.
What are some of the ways that we can make the most
of therapy or best manage our mental health
while we're stuck at home?
First let's talk about online therapy
and what we can do to maximize it.
Creating a safe space to have therapy is key.
If we worry that someone is listening in on us
we won't be able to open up
and benefit from therapy as much.
I have had many patients and viewers tell me
that they're doing therapy in their car
or at the park that's a block away
or that they set up a comfy place in their closet.
I know that sounds silly,
but with blankets hanging around them to deaden the sound,
whatever you can do to create that safe space, go for it.
Next, setting up a ritual around your online therapy.
We used to have a ritual whether we knew it or not,
like driving to our appointment
maybe we got coffee or water,
wait in the waiting room for a bit and then going in.
Let's create one while we're at home.
Maybe that means we prepare a water bottle or our tea
or get our safe space ready.
Maybe we put on comfy clothes or get dressed up
like we did before lockdown
and then we head to our appointment,
even if it's just in our closet
and having that ritual will help us adjust to online therapy
more quickly and get our brain and body ready for it too.
Finally, talk about the awkwardness with your therapist.
It's okay to give them feedback about their online tactics
or tell them that you don't like it or it feels really odd.
Having a safe space to talk about all that's going on
in our minds is what therapy is all about,
so take advantage of it.
Okay, now on to how we can use some self-help tools
and techniques on our own with or without
the help of a therapist
and first up is finding a workbook that's specific
to what you want to work on.
Is anger an issue?
Anxiety, maybe we have some trauma in our past
or are struggling with an eating disorder.
I have an Amazon store that I will link in the description
so you can see some of the workbooks that I like,
but obviously feel free to do your own research,
ask friends and read reviews about different books
and workbooks until you find one that sounds good to you.
Then and most importantly, set a time each and every day
or every other day to work on it.
I usually tell my patients to give themselves
20 to 30 minutes and then move on to something else.
I don't want this work to become so burdensome
that it's hard to do it regularly.
It's more important that we do it on a regular schedule
rather than cramming it into four hours
or something like that,
and I want you to have time to digest
all your reading and working on.
I don't want you feeling like you have to rush through it.
My next tip for at home mental health care
is to find or engage with a support system.
This could be your friends and family
or it could be friends you've made online.
We need to have a safe space to talk about
what we're working on,
then when we need to,
and maybe get some insight and advice.
Having other people to support us along the way
is a basic human need.
We all need to feel seen, heard and cared for,
so start putting together your support system.
I have a supportive Facebook group called Katie
and I'm sure there are others on Facebook
you can join as well and I also have my journal club
through my YouTube memberships
where people below the post of the journal prompt
are adding in their own journaling,
so that's a great way to connect as well.
Find something that works for you.
Next up and something I talk about constantly is self-talk.
If we're gonna try to better ourselves while we're at home,
we are going to have to start noticing our self-talk.
Self-talk is that voice running in your head
all day every day.
It can say things like, "Oh my god,
"you forgot to get your clothes out of the washer,"
or more serious stuff like,
"She didn't call you back because she hates you
"and just thinks you're stupid."
Too often we allow this inner voice to shit-talk us
without acknowledging or even fact-checking it.
We just let the thoughts come
and often believe them to be true without any evidence
to support the thought,
and allow that thought possibly to become a belief
about ourselves and our life.
Don't do that!
Fight back against that nasty voice.
We wouldn't let anyone speak to us that way in person
or at least we shouldn't,
so why are we doing it to ourselves?
Start tracking these thoughts and either shrug them off
as only thoughts or if they are beliefs,
maybe try to come up with a bridge statement
or a more positive counter thought.
And if you don't know what bridge statements are,
I have an entire video about them
and I'll link that in the description,
but these are thoughts that are in between
the negative thoughts and the positive ones.
They help build the bridge from the negative
to the more positive and just as a note,
the National Science Foundation found
that 80% of our thoughts every day,
we have anywhere from 12 to 60,000 on average,
are negative ones.
80%, that blew my mind.
And also, 95% of those thoughts
are thoughts we've already had before.
Just let that sink in.
That's why it's so important that we do this.
We're having these same shitty thoughts day after day
and if we can make them just the slightest bit more positive
it can truly change our mood and our life.
Okay, moving on to journaling.
I know that dreaded J word that you all hate,
but I promise it's not that bad.
I'm a huge fan of the five-minute journals
and you can find them online.
They're short and helpful and only take,
you guessed it, five minutes.
I also offer a journal prompt like I was saying
through my YouTube memberships every Tuesday and Friday,
right here on YouTube, it's super easy.
It's five bucks a month and hopefully
helps you get started or continue on your journaling journey
and people even journal below the post,
like I was saying in the community tab
which can be a great way for us to learn from one another.
Journaling helps because it gets all that's going on
in our head out and onto paper or into a document online.
It can be helpful to spill all those thoughts out
and then look at them a little later
when maybe we aren't so upset or feeling as agitated.
Journaling can help us see just how far we've come
or get a clearer view of what we're going through
and if we have a therapist,
bringing in a journal entry or two
can help our therapist better understand us.
If you're looking for a QuickStart guide to journaling,
just try doing this every day for five days
and see if it makes you feel just a little bit better.
Write one thing you're grateful for,
one thing you're looking forward to
and one thing that you want to work on.
Just those three things, I promise you,
it's worth the work and finally,
in order for any self-help stuff to actually work
we must take care of our basic needs.
Make sure that you're getting enough sleep,
at least seven and a half hours studies show, trust me.
We need to eat every three to four hours
and try to have a balanced diet.
There are no good or bad foods,
we kind of just eat a lot of various foods.
I want you to shower every few days.
Do some exercise each week and connect with people.
In DBT, dialectical behavior therapy, we call this HALT.
Hungry, angry, lonely, tired.
It's also ABCs, please,
there's a lot of different things in DBT
about taking care of our basic needs,
but if we're feeling any of those things, right,
hungry, angry, lonely, tired,
it can be hard for us to use our wise mind,
meaning that we aren't able to think clearly
and make good decisions.
Instead we can be impulsive, easily angered
and act out in self-destructive ways,
so take care of yourself first.
Overall, it's best if we have a mental health professional
helping us along.
They can call us out on the things that we're doing
that are hurtful to us in our progress
and they can challenge us in new ways.
We aren't really able to do that stuff for ourselves
because it can be hard to see things subjectively.
We are literally too close to it and therefore can get stuck
and frustrated more quickly.
However, there are things we can do to help ourselves
and most therapy includes some kind of homework,
so doing the things I mentioned
can help get you on the right track.
As always, if there are other things
you would like to add in that have helped you
better manage your mental health while at home,
please leave those in the comments down below.
Thank you so much for watching
and I will see next time, bye.