-Here's what people are talking about, did you see this?
Disney's Hall of Presidents finally added
a Donald Trump robot to the Hall of Presidents.
Yeah, he's really making an impact at Disney.
Today he deported Aladdin
and he gave Scrooge McDuck a tax break.
-Really? -Yeah.
[ Applause ]
Unbelievable. Yeah, that's right.
They added Trump to the Hall of Presidents.
And you can tell it's Trump's robot,
because Putin's backstage controlling it.
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Russian accent ] "Do not go behind the curtain."
[ Light laughter ]
[ Normal voice ] Some people are saying the robot
doesn't really look like him. I don't know.
See for yourself. Here's the real President Trump.
And here is the robot.
[ Laughter and applause ]
Wait, what?
Can we do that again?
Can I see the real President Trump?
-Here's the real one. -The real one.
Just take a look. If we can get that --
That's the real President Trump,
and here's the robot right there.
[ Laughter ]
A lot of people are speaking out about the new robot,
including Trump himself.
He said, "I am honored to be in the Hall of Presidents,
believe me."
Then his robot spoke up and said, "Yer! I'm hernerred
to ber in da Herl of Prersidernts! Berlerv mer!"
[ Laughter ]
Then this old statue of Cristiano Ronaldo spoke up
and said, "Can stertues ber in da Herl, ter?"
[ Laughter and applause ]
Then this old statue of Lucille Ball showed up
and said, "I wanna ger ter! I lerv Dersney Werld!"
[ Laughter and applause ]
And finally, this courtroom sketch
of Tom Brady said, "Er'd rerther Ber in
da Fertberl Herl of Ferm!"
There you go. They all...
-They all spoke up. -...had something to say.
-Yeah, all of them.
-That's right. Starting this week,
Trump is going to be part of the show.
They actually made a new commercial about the update.
Check this out.
-Disney's Hall of Presidents has long been home
to America's greatest leaders, like George Washington...
-I cannot tell a lie.
-...or Abraham Lincoln...
-A house divided against itself
cannot stand.
-...and starting today,
Donald J. Trump.
-God blesh the United Shtates.
-Finally, Trump stands beside the greats like Adams,
Madison, and Jefferson.
-It's great to see all the great children here
with their tiny little hands.
We're all born with tiny hands.
♪♪ We have small hands after all ♪♪
-Come experience the wonder of our nations'
most inspiring heroes.
-This is lame.
I wanna ride the tea cups.
-Disney's Hall of Presidents.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-The big story today is that the House passed the GOP tax bill.
Yep, the Senate will follow and Trump is expected to sign it
into law this week.
Which will get awkward when Trump says,
[ As Trump ] "I'm busy, have my robot do it."
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Normal voice ] That's not what he does.
[ As Trump ] Yeah.
[ Normal voice ] It's very controversial.
In fact, I read that a majority of Americans
would end up paying more in taxes by the year 2027.
Trump said it's payback for the majority of Americans
who voted for Hillary Clinton.
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
Yeah, a lot of people are upset.
In fact, I read that a woman took her top off
in the House while protesting the vote.
Security escorted her out while Trump said,
[ As Trump ] "Let's hear what she has to say."
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Normal voice ] I saw that Russia's presidential election
just began with Putin ahead in the polls.
His supporters were chanting, [ Russian accent ] "Four more
years, four more years."
[ Normal voice ] While his opponents were chanting,
[ Russian accent ] "Let me out of trunk,
Let me out trunk.
Untie me!"
[ Applause ]
[ Normal voice ] You guys, we're just five days away
from Christmas. Do you believe that?
Wow.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Of course, a lot of people --
A lot of people will be flying this year.
I read that snow globes are subject to the TSA's liquid ban.
Did you know that? [ Audience groans ]
Which should explain things when you see someone at security
chugging their snow globes.
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Drunken voice ] "I gotta finish it before I get on!
Then when I get through, I'll go buy another snow globe."
[ Light laughter ]
That's how they get you, man.
They make you buy a snow globe, then you get through,
they take it away, then you buy another snow globe."
[ Light laughter ]
[ Normal voice ] Finally, you guys, I read
that Madison, Wisconsin was just named
the most compassionate city in America.
When asked how they felt about it they said,
"Really sad for the cities that lost."
[ Laughter and applause ]
We have a great show tonight.
Give it up for The Roots!