Welcome back to the show. If there’s one takeaway from Black History Month, it’s
that White Supremacists aren’t being seen. Trust me, we see you. Turns out, what they
should be asking is what the Hellmans does being white even mean? I asked the Lucas brothers
to find out more.
Hey, we’re the Lucas bros., and today we’re going to talk about white supremacy. Specifically
how much these dudes love their Greek and Roman statues.
“They architectured ancient Greece.”
I’m talking about something bigger. Your connection to a culture, a history, a destiny.
Just go look at the Greek sculptures and that’s you.
I love white people! We’re white men, we did everything!
Chill, dude, we get it.
So, we went down to the MET to learn about the ancient white history that white supremacists
love so much. Oh yeah, like the movie. The MET has a lot of white statues and surprisingly
lacked security. Whoa, yo, look at these dudes. Well, here we are, the beginning of the white
people. Hello, white statues.
Actually, Lucas brothers, they were never white.
Did that statue just talk?
It wasn’t the statue. It was this sharp-dressed dude, and he said he was The MET’s head
scientist, and he also said everything we know about statues is a lie. A white lie.
Ah, that’s a pun.
So, the ancient world was not like this. When you see white here, you have to imagine vibrant
color. So marble was just a canvas a painter would decorate.
Wait, I’m-I’m sorry, this-this is just-I’m, my mind is blown.
Your mind is blown. My mind is blown. I can’t.
This is crazy!
This is amazing!
This is nuts!
They’re not white!
Was he saying that this entire museum of whiteness was actually supposed to be in color?
They look white now, but it was a very diverse world. The skin tones in the statues would
have been reflective of what was around the street.
You’re telling me that some of the people might have looked like us?
Absolutely.
I love museums!
God, I love them.
The science actually shows that the statues were painted with a variety of skin tones.
That’s right, but the paint wore off by the time they were unearthed centuries later.
So basically, we could have avoided racism if the Greeks just used some primer.
So, she’s definitely a white lady, right? She looks like she’s snitching on somebody.
But if the ancient world was so diverse, how come these dudes use it to prove their superiority?
Don’t ask me, man, ask the white lady.
Hey.
Hey, white lady.
I’m Sarah.
Hopefully, white lady Sarah could explain why all of these statues became fuel for racism.
A lot of groups within the alt-right have looked to antiquity as a way of legitimizing
what they’re saying and what they’re doing. These statues get used as a tool to justify
racism.
So, alt-righters and neo-nazis are trying to claim that they own all of ancient history
like, “I’m caucasian.” “I’m caucasian.”
“I’m caucasian.” “I’ll be caucasian!”
“I’m caucasian!” “I’m caucasian!”
“I’m caucasian!” “I’m Eric.”
Greeks had no conception of biological race. Of course, they see skin tone, but not in
order to reinforce an idea of whiteness or blackness.
So, how’d they know which culture to appropriate?
Um, I haven’t asked.
How did the cops know which chariot to pull over?
Sure, the ancient world was full of slavery and oppression, but the fact is, the idea
of race never played into any of it until Europeans came along centuries later and use
white statues to justify categorizing people by race.
When you have just a monolithic picture of ancient Rome where everybody in your mind
looks like a white statue, then that reinforces the idea that these were all just white people
walking around in the Roman Empire.
Then, how can we put the color back into our past?
Hello?
Hello, hello, hello…
Yo, Lucas Brothers, yo, Lucas Brothers.
Yo.
Hey man.
Another black person!
What’s going on, man? Hey, how ya doing?
Brother, too, baby, that’s what I’m talking about.
That’s what I’m talking about.
Hey did you sneak in, too?
Did you sneak in, too?
No, no, I was invited. I have like four degrees.
Wow, that’s one for each of us. Plus, one for that statue over there.
Whiteness is not skin color. Whiteness is a system of oppression.
You’re damn right it is!
Right on, brother.
Right on, right on.
But, but, actually, yeah but, actually, but I’m serious though. It literally is not
a scientific thing.
OK, hmm.
Whiteness is really an invention that white people came up with to categorize people.
There you go, you invented something. That’s great! Happy White History Month.
But, the funny thing about whiteness is, who’s white keeps changing. It was like first the
Irish weren’t white, then they became white. Italians weren’t white.
So, there’s almost like a minor league system for whiteness. You’ve got to start off and
then-
You’ve got to start off oppressed - we’re going to be white in no time!
I wouldn’t hold your breath.
So, it’s almost as if these white supremacists weren’t superior! Yup, that checks out.
So, if race is a construct, can we still be black and proud?
I think we can be proud of the way that black people survived, you know, even though we
got organized into these categories.
Right.
First, they start organizing the statues, and then they start organizing institutions,
education, criminal justice, all-around whiteness.
Hmmmm.
So, we have to undo this world that whiteness has created -
Wow.
And we’ve got to learn to see the past in full color.
You know what he means?
Of course.
I know what you mean.
History of whiteness, man that stuff fucks you up.
These stickers are pretty strong, huh?
Very strong.
‘Sup?
What’s up?
What’s racist?
Oh, well, he doesn’t know what racist means, uh-
That’s, no no no no.
They don’t like, um, us. They don’t like us!
Oh, like twins?
No, not twins.
I have no idea what you’re talking about. Have you seen the rest of my penis?
The ancient world was full of color.
Whiteness is a construct.
It’s a system of oppression.
That’s an excellent point, brother!
Seriously, guys, I used to have a penis!
I guess history really is way doper when you see it in every color, and when you’re stoned
as fuck.
Man, can’t believe we did it.
What?
We saw racism!
I don’t think so.
Well, then, fine, I saw racism.
What, I don’t get credit now?
We’ll be right back.