Hello and welcome to this video. Today let's talk about what you can do when you're speaking in
English, and you, you forget your words. Does that ever happen to you when you're speaking in
English and you forget what you wanted to say. I hear this from a lot of students. They say,
Jennifer I forget all my words when I speak in English. So today let's talk about why
that happens and what you can do to prevent it. Of course I'm Jennifer Forrest, and this channel is
dedicated to helping you feel confident speaking English in public, so you can take your career
and your life to the next level. Now before we go any further, make sure you subscribe and hit that
bell icon so you're notified every time I post a new lesson. Now, let's dive in with this video.
Let's say you're in a meeting at work and you have this amazing idea that you want to share,
and you open your mouth and you start speaking, and as you're speaking, you just can't think
of that word. You have a very specific word in your head, and at that exact moment when you're
speaking, it's not coming to you. This is one thing that I hear from students all the time,
and it's one of the reasons that a lot of students will avoid speaking because they're
afraid that is going to happen, either because it's happened in the past, they've heard stories
of it happening to other people or is just a fear that they have. But here's what you need to know.
It is normal. It is normal for you to be speaking and not remember a word, not remember
and the entire idea. This is normal, even if you practice what you wanted to say and you practice
and you practice and you practice, and then you get to the point where you're sharing your idea,
maybe it's in a job interview or at work in a meeting, and you're speaking and you're speaking,
and then you forget. You forget the word that you just spent hours and hours practicing.
Why does that happen. Well, you just have to realize that, for one, your brain is not Google.
Okay, I think a lot of people have this expectation that their brains job is to
give them the precise piece of information, the moment they want it. Now that would be
amazing if the brain could do that. And our brain is capable of doing incredible things,
but it does not work the same way that Google works when you want some piece of information
Google or Siri will give you that information instantly, your brain is not like that. Your
brain has all that information, but it doesn't have a filing system, that it can just open a file
and take that piece and give it to you on demand. That is a limitation. So you need to understand
that this is normal. You have to think about this in your own native language. Are you telling me
that you've never been speaking in your own native language and forgotten what you wanted to say,
forgotten the name of a movie, the name of a restaurant, the name of a street the name of a
co worker, and you know their name but just at that exact moment you can't remember it.
Are you saying that doesn't happen to you in your native language. Well of course not. Of course,
it happens to you in your native language, so why wouldn't it happen to you when you're speaking in
English as a second language. The best solution, I can offer you is to have strategies in place
when you forget your words. So I want to tell you about one of my students in my program speak to
impress. Now, this is a public speaking program so my students practice their public speaking,
and they learn strategies to help them share their ideas effectively and impressively,
so one of my students was talking about her favorite Disney movie. Now, as she was talking,
she couldn't remember the name of the Disney movie. A lot of times students will just use a
lot of word fillers, they'll get really stressed out, or they'll just stop talking because they
forget a specific word. But remember what I said, you need strategies. So this student was able to
keep talking. So she forgot the name of the movie, she's instantly started talking. Oh, I can't think
of the name of the movie. What's that name again. Anyway, it doesn't matter. So as I was saying,
so she talked for a little bit to give her brain some time to think of the information.
The information was not coming, so she had to move on. She had to keep going. And that's what my
students learn, they learn to have these problems like forgetting their words and they learn how to
overcome them with specific strategies, so they can keep talking. So you just need to have some
strategies in place to help you keep talking, when that situation happened, because that's
a normal situation is going to happen is going to happen when you're in a meeting is going to
happen when you're in a job interview is going to happen when you're giving a speech at a networking
event or a conference is going to happen when you're at a party just socializing with friends,
you cannot stop talking. You have to keep going. So you just need to have some strategies to help
you keep talking. So ultimately, you can just relax, because that is a normal situation.
But there is one thing you need to understand, and not that our brains don't work as effectively
when we're under stress, so if you have a fear of public speaking, and before you go to speak,
you're already nervous before you begin the presentation before you go to the job interview,
your heart is racing. Your hands are shaking you have that feeling in your stomach. At that moment,
your body is under a lot of stress, and in that stressful environment, your brain doesn't think
as clearly, your brain is under stress, at that moment. So, is going to be more difficult for you
to organize your thoughts and think clearly and get the words out, just think about how you
feel when you didn't get a good night's sleep. Let's say you had a terrible night's sleep you
only slept two to three hours, and you're in a meeting in your own native language,
and you're asked a question, and you've only had two to three hours of sleep. You're not
going to be able to articulate your ideas very clearly or effectively because your brain isn't
working properly. It's only had two to three hours of sleep. Now, that exact same thing is true
when your body is under stress. So it's really important that you learn to control your fear
of public speaking, it's very normal to have a fear of public speaking, but you need to take
action to minimize those negative emotions. I'm not going to tell you that you're going
to eliminate them 100% But you can absolutely minimize them, you can minimize the nervousness,
the heart racing the hand shaking, you can reduce it and minimize and minimize and minimize and with
enough practice, you can get it as close to zero as possible, and when your body is
not under stress, your brain is going to work more effectively, and it will be able to give
you the information that you need when you need it. So first of all understand that it is normal,
even when you're not under stress, your brain does not operate like Google, but understand that
when your body is under stress, because you're having a negative reaction to public speaking,
your brain is not going to work as effectively as if you were calm one strategy that I can offer
you to overcome your fear of public speaking is to use your breath. So take big breath in.
So, big breath in, hold, and then a big exhale out so take it in for three to five seconds, hold it
for two to three seconds, and then exhale for five to 10 seconds. And when you take those big breaths
in and Big breaths out your heart rate is going to slow down, Because your body is in stress, you
need to get your body back into a calm environment and you can do that with your breathing. So before
you go to the job interview, just sit in your car, or go to the bathroom, and just do some breathing
exercises, or let's say it's a few days before the job interview, and you're thinking about it,
and you get nervous just thinking about it and your heart starts to race at that exact moment,
do some breathing exercises. The second you have that fear. Obviously, you can't do that
in the middle of the job interview while you were speaking, you can't do that right I think
that's obvious, I don't need to tell you that. So you have to do this as a preventative before you
go into the event, and that will just help your body state in that calm, relaxed state. So you can
think clearer. Another reason why you forget your words when you speak, is because you're thinking
too much about your words, you're obsessing over your English, and you're thinking too much
about individual words. And you're forgetting the purpose of communications. The purpose of
communications is to share an idea. You should not be thinking about the individual words that
you're going to use, you should be thinking about your overall message that you want to communicate,
and then focus on your message, because there are many, many, many different ways that you can
communicate a message in English, but I find that students, When they're public speaking,
they forget that they're not in a classroom. When you're out work, and you're in a meeting
and you're sharing your ideas, you're not in the classroom in a classroom, you might be required
to practice specific verb tenses or to practice a specific phrasal verb that you've been studying,
and when you share a practice example in a classroom setting, you have to practice that
specific phrasal verb, but when you're in the workplace environment and you're communicating,
and let's say you want to share an idea, and you want to share it with that phrasal verb,
but you can't remember that phrasal verb, if that's what's happening, then you've forgotten
the purpose of communications, you've forgotten why you're there, you're there to share
an idea whether you share that idea with a specific phrasal verb or a different
word, a synonym, all of that phrasal verb, Does not matter in the classroom,
it matters in the real world, it does not matter, you should not be thinking about individual words,
individual verb tenses, individual phrasal verbs, individual expressions that is not your goal.
Your goal is to communicate a message. So if you focus on the message, then you won't worry about
what words you use to communicate that message. So the only thing you need to do as a solution
is you just need to focus on your message, focus on your message, and remember that there are 10,
20, 100 different ways to say the exact same thing. So you may have wanted to use
a specific phrasal verb, but who cares. There are many other ways you can communicate the exact
same idea. And remember, you're not in English class. Your boss, the person interviewing you,
doesn't care about your phrasal verb vocabulary. They care about your ideaa. They care about
the value that you can bring to the organization. They care about the solutions that you provide
that what they care about. They don't care about your English. So stay focused on your ideas, and
remember, you're not in English class. So now you know why you forget your words and you also have
some very simple strategies, strategies that you can use starting today to overcome this problem,
so you can share your ideas effectively and impressively. And if you found this video helpful,
please hit the like button, share it with your friends, and of course subscribe. And before
you go, make sure you head on over to my website: speak to impress.com. And there, you're going to
find a free masterclass. And in this masterclass, I'm going to share how you can feel confident
speaking English in public without worrying about your grammar or your accent, or your mistakes
in only 30 days. To get your free masterclass, simply click the button, enter your name and
email and you'll get instant access to the Masterclass. And I'll see you in my next Video.