You ever notice when someone gets a haircut, and you look at them like
"Oh they got a haircut. They didn't tell me they were getting a haircut. You've changed."
What's up guys? I am Matthias and today I had a little inspiration from ThatcherJoe.
He did an amazing video where he read his old diary. I cracked up, I was dying of laughter.
So I was like "Wait a second, I think I wrote a diary." And then I found it.
So this diary was written in 2001 I believe, so I was 12 years old.
We're going to read it in all it's cringeworthy glory. And this is the time where my family did
a month long or 2 month long stay in Philadelphia because of my dad's work at the time.
And my parents really wanted me to document it so I remembered it forever.
My mom got this one for me. It's snake skin. It's not real, though, PETA-lovers.
Titled "Philly" in huge, large words here. No date on the first entry.
"The first day in Philly was not very pretty because of the storm, but it was fun." Not pretty, but fun.
The first part was fun on the plane because the gave me-" The. The gave me "breakfast on the plane."
"Then we watched 2 movies and then we landed."
Okay I'm using "then"s and "and"s like they're periods here.
"We got a car and went to a pizza place and I got in trouble."
I didn't elaborate on that probably because I didn't want to live through it.
"We caught some fireflies and then came inside and went to bed."
Oh I actually kind of remember that. I think I remember it because my dad scarred me.
He took a firefly and he was like "Watch this son." He squished it in his hand,
and then rubbed it on his arm. And his arm glowed. And I was like "But it was alive!"
So the next entry was on July 2nd, Monday.
"The first thing I did was say goodbye to daddy."
I said goodbye to daddy, I was like "Bye Daddy."
Why does it sound so weird when I'm a grown man and I say daddy?
Why is that weird?
"And went to breakfast. It was yammy." I spelt it "yammy".
Y A M M Y. Yammy.
*little boy laugh*
"Then we went back with food for mommy." Because my mom never liked to get up early.
She was always like "*sassy* Bring me back some."
"Then we looked at the pool. It was only 4 1/2 feet deep."
Evidently I wanted to make a note that the pool was only 4 1/2 feet deep. Uh, we're from LA, pools are deep, yo.
"Then we all went to the gym and I worked out. After the gym we changed...
...to a better room.
And then I ate lunch and then I played basketball with my remote-controlled motorcycle."
*confused Matthias is confused*
How do you play basketball with a motorcycle? Do you throw it in the hoop or something?
I have a very descriptive diagram of our room, the basketball court, and the main lobby, and then the pool.
I still wanted to note down here that the pool was only 4 1/2 feet deep. That was a big deal to me then!
Maybe I was like "*cocky* 4 1/2 feet? I'm like 5 feet."
"Then I went back and played around then I went back and sat around."
I keep going back! Where did I start?
"Then we got into the car to pick up DADDY. After picking up DADDY,
we went on a walk through the forest and got back to the car and went to the drug store and Joey each got a nice Kodak ADVANTIX."
Literally I spelled out the word Advantix in like all capitals because that's how the brand wanted to spell it.
"And I ate a hamburger and fries at J.B. DAWSON'S." All capitals. Man, even at a young age I was brand-friendly.
"I am going to give you a lot of pictures-"
I'm gonna give you a lot of pictures. Who am I talking to?! Myself?
*lightbulb*
This diary my parents told me to document so I could give it to my grandparents.
"July 3rd, Tuesday. I got up started watching TV as usual then went downstairs. I came back and watched some more TV."
So I watched TV, I went downstairs, was like "What am I doing here?" And then I went back upstairs and watched more TV!
"Then got up and went to the gym." What am I like a ripped 12 year old? Wha-what is this?!
"Joey and Sarah got a letter in the mail and I started making jokes with Joey's whoopee cushion.
A lot of people started looking at us. Joey didn't want to do it in front of people."
Now he wants to really do it in front of people. Without a whoopee cushion.
"And then picked up daddy." I'm straight up succinct in this journal. Like, no fluff...
Amanda: I like how you keep using the word daddy.
Yeah I really liked using the word "daddy".
"July 4th, Wednesday. We all got up and went to breakfast."
I don't need to say that every freakin time. At least my grandparents know I'm well fed.
"After breakfast then we went to see a lot of memorials where Washington crapped."
...
Crapped?
CAMPED!
Camped! Washington, like the actual dude. The president. Not where he crapped.
Although he probably crapped there too.
"While we were there all we saw was a cannon go off."
I was really unimpressed with that. "ALL *voice crack* we saw was a cannon go off."
Like how often do you see a cannon go off?
"Then we ate lunch at Ruby's, watched 'Cats and Dogs...'" Oh the movie 'Cats and Dogs'! You guys remember that first movie?
"The dogs won."
Spoilers.
Alright guys that is it for now. If you want another one because there's much more where that came from,
please click 'Like' on the video and subscribe. That lets me know that you want more.
Down in the comments I wanna know if you ever kept a diary of your own.
Mine was snakeskin!
Regrettably.
So I'll see you next time! High Five!