Filmgoers have finally discovered something Deadpool's longtime comics fans have known
for a while: the Merc with a Mouth is nearly impossible to kill.
He soaks up bullets, survives buildings burning down, and even regrows a hand in the weirdest
way possible.
“Am I crazy, or is your hand really small?”
“About the size of a KFC spork.”
It's easy to leave the theater wondering exactly how anyone could ever defeat someone with
such an amazing healing factor.
Fortunately, years of Deadpool comics have offered an array of techniques for accomplishing
just such a goal.
Supervillains, avert your eyes!
Here are just a few ways to defeat Deadpool.
It takes a planet
Like most Marvel characters, Deadpool has died in the comics, and in a pretty staggering
variety of ways.
He recently bit the big chimichanga in Deadpool #45… when an entire planet fell on him.
Which isn't too out of line for a normal Deadpool adventure anyhow.
Deadpool was just one of many casualties during Marvel's latest Secret Wars event, in which
different parallel worlds collide with each other, with the intention of thinning out
the complicated multiverse and making Marvel Comics a bit more reader-friendly.
By the end of the story, there are just two parallel Earths — the one we know and love,
and Marvel's Ultimates Earth, which smack into one another.
Like most comic book deaths, this was a temporary arrangement, as Mr. Fantastic and his family
eventually helped recreate the entire multiverse, Deadpool included.
The event certainly cements that there are some things even Deadpool's healing factor
can't take on… like reality falling apart.
Take away his powers
Deadpool's main thing is his impressive mutant healing factor, which allows him to bounce
back from nearly anything.
Without the ability to regrow body parts, he's just a guy with a lot of weapons, a very
sick human body, and no sense of self-preservation.
So, how can you steal Deadpool's mojo?
“I’m gonna get ya!
I’m gonna get ya!
Ah shakin’ my milkshake!”
When it comes de-powering super-people, there are a surprising number of options.
Scarlet Witch notably stripped most mutants of their powers during Marvel's House of M
event, but if you don't want the nuclear option, there's always the mutant Leech.
As his unfortunate name implies, Leech has the ability to effectively turn off the powers
of nearby super-humans and mutants.
If Deadpool were in the same general area as Leech, he could be killed just like a regular
person, providing you could get past the dozens of machine guns and swords he usually carries.
Yea, good luck with that.
He also barely escaped death when confronting the Walrus, a villain with a magic, power-cancelling
hammer.
So, where physical violence will usually fail, a little bit of magic goes a long way.
Science!
If you don't want to rely on superpowers, there's also science.
The answer could be as simple as the special serum used in Deadpool #54, which made him
handsome, but also took away his healing factor.
Don't have access to a chemistry set?
Carbonadium is also an option.
Like vibranium and adamantium, carbonadium is another fictional Marvel metal that villains
like Doctor Octopus and Omega Red have used over the years.
It's one of the reasons Omega Red is such a deadly foe for Wolverine: his radioactive
tentacles are able to negate Logan's healing factor.
While Deadpool hasn't felt the deadly sting of carbonadium himself, a Deadpool from a
parallel universe used some carbonadium katanas as he killed every living hero.
The swords were able to successfully decapitate Wolverine and turn off his healing factor
— so no one is safe.
Cure his cancer
The sad truth is that without his hyperactive healing powers, Deadpool would have already
died from especially aggressive cancer.
Fortunately, his healing factor is in harmony with the disease, helping him to grow new
cells at the exact rate that he loses them, even though it doesn't really fix his freaky
face.
As a result, Deadpool's level of healing seems to be a bit above the usual Wolverine levels.
This was demonstrated in a rather grisly way when a group of Skrulls decided to steal Deadpool's
powers for themselves... but didn't steal his illness.
That meant that their bodies were healing way too much, way too fast, causing the Skrull
warriors to become swollen and deformed until they exploded.
Theoretically, the same thing would happen to Deadpool if any enterprising villain were
able to cure his cancer.
It's just too much of a good thing.
Give him the feels
Despite often being written as an insane and violent parody, one consistent quality Deadpool
has is that he forms strong bonds with friends, teammates, and kids.
Who else could have formed a rapport with Negasonic Teenage Warhead?
“You, Chicken Noodle.
Nothing compares to you.
Sinead O’Connor.
1990.
Sorry.”
“That’s alright.
You’re cool.”
That bonding with young people is rooted in the comics as well, with Deadpool forming
a protective relationship with Evan, a young clone of Apocalypse.
What does this have to do with defeating Deadpool?
Well, in true comics tradition, he's just like every other hero; he's easily manipulated
when it comes to people he cares about.
“WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME!?”
Deadpool was willing to risk his own life in order to redeem Evan and stop him from
going down the dark path of Apocalypse.
All it takes is a little emotional leverage to defeat Deadpool.
A broken heart might not kill him, but it would totally keep him out of action for a
while.
Heroes and Villains
Even before a planet was dropped on him, both good guys and bad guys have actually been
defeating Deadpool for years.
Thanos is one of the biggest villains in the Marvel Universe.
Even when he isn't wielding the Infinity Gauntlet, he's able to obliterate characters that are
otherwise really difficult to kill.
Wasting no time, Thanos kills Deadpool on the second page of the four-issue Deadpool
vs. Thanos miniseries.
Deadpool is legitimately dead… until he's brought back to life by Death herself, who,
of course, has a crush on Deadpool.
And that's not even the last all-powerful opponent that tangled with Wade.
Loki was actually able to defeat Deadpool in the most bizarre way possible.
Forget about magic and powerful Asgardian weapons, which would probably do a good job
cutting Deadpool down to size.
Loki's curse results in Deadpool being annoyed by almost everything in his life, and the
creation of possibly the best Deadpool costume of all time.
And as a twisted bonus, the curse also prevents Deadpool from killing himself whenever he
tries.
It's crazy, even for Deadpool.
The potential to defeat Deadpool seems to lie in the hands of any number of Marvel characters.
The Sentry, with his Superman-level strength and his willingness to kill, has a reputation
for throwing people into the sun, which Deadpool probably wouldn't be able to recover from.
Mister Fantastic is known for trapping people in inescapable pocket universes.
Molecule Man can control matter at an atomic level, and a Deadpool without atoms is no
Deadpool at all.
And we're not saying that Squirrel Girl can defeat just about anyone….
But Squirrel Girl.
"All I see are squirrels!
Horrible Horrible Squirrels!"
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