- "G.I. Joe" fans are losing it
over the latest Snake Eyes news!
What up?
It has been a dull few years for "G.I. Joe" fans.
The franchise has been radio silent on the big screen
since its second installment, "G.I. Joe: Retaliation,"
stormed into the theaters back in 2013.
Which has left fans wondering what's next
for the Real American Heroes.
How'd I do, guys?
- [BComp] Good.
- Thank you!
A reboot, a third film, or is it just
staying on ice until Hasbro gets its
shared cinematic toy universe balled up?
But all that changed this week when,
after six years of absolutely nothing,
we were suddenly bombarded with more news
than we could handle about the toy line
turned comic turned cartoon turned film series.
Not only did Hasbro and Paramount announce
that fans are getting a new "G.I. Joe" spinoff film,
but fans are also getting
(explosion) a second brand-new
"G.I. Joe" spinoff film.
(gasps) That's like two-for-one!
And if that wasn't enough, one of the films
is set to focus on everyone's favorite ninja commando,
Snake Eyes, as he joins a ninja clan,
which we can assume will be the--
- [BComp] Arashikage.
- Arashikage Clan, as he seeks revenge
for his father's death.
But who could possibly portray Snake Eyes,
the man of few words who is the epitome
of the classic strong, silent type?
Well, "G.I. Joe" fans, let's call them Joe Bros.
Isn't that what they called the Jonas Brother fans?
- [BComp] No, no, no. - [Crew Member] Yes, it is.
- You know what? Don't, shh, they're Joe Bros.
Well, they were over the moon to learn
that the all-around handsome man,
the star of "Crazy Rich Asians," Henry Golding,
my future husband, is in talks to take up the mantle
of Snake Eyes, who was originally portrayed by Ray Park.
You know, from-- - [BComp] No, don't.
(Maude sings part of Darth Maul's theme from "Star Wars")
No.
(Maude sings a couple more notes)
- And it didn't take long for Joe Bros to hit up Twitter
with their thoughts on this film and its casting.
Like @mikeruello, who said "(beep) Yes!"
(grunts) "Snake Eyes is my favorite G.I. Joe character,"
fire emoji, fire emoji, fire emoji, goat emoji.
(imitates goat bleating)
And we think that most Joe Bros would agree
that Snake Eyes truly is the GOAT.
However, @iancass brought up a great point.
"So here's the problem: Are you gonna keep
"Henry Golding's handsome face underneath
"the mask the whole time? Because that's Snake Eyes."
I mean, have you actually seen Snake Eyes' actual face?
Because maybe you don't.
(dramatic brass note)
If anyone does that to my baby's face, though,
there'll be problems. (laughs)
@drkdude_ says this is more of a feature than a bug,
saying "I'm down for a #SnakeEyes movie,
"but I'll pay extra if he doesn't say
"a (beep) word the whole movie."
I'm just personally making a point
that if an Australian swears, it's so much more aggressive.
(beep) yeah!
Now, not to get too nerdy, but he has talked before.
Issue 102 of Marvel Comics' "G.I. Joe" line, just saying.
Hey, anyway, when can we expect this "Snake Eyes" flick?
Well, it's right around the corner,
because it's got its eye (laughs) on slithering
into theaters for an October 2020 release. (hisses)
Thank you.
But this is only half of the story,
which means you only know half of the information.
And if knowing is half of the battle,
then you're only prepared for half of a half,
which is also known as a quarter.
And that's of the battle.
That other film that we mentioned is also in the works,
but we don't know too much about it just yet,
other than it will feature one of the more obscure
characters in the "G.I. Joe" lineup, Chuckles.
Now, for those of you who didn't
save your "G.I. Joe" file cards,
Chuckles is the team's undercover specialist,
which debuted in both comic and action figure form
back in 1987.
But for those of you chuckling as to why Chuckles,
of all characters, should be in the movie,
you should know that Chuckles is no joke.
He'll (beep) you up.
If you pull out your long boxes, there is a great miniseries
from 2009 titled "G.I. Joe: Cob-ra,"
or "Cobra," if you're living in America, which I am,
so I'll adjust, that features Chuckles
infiltrating the Cobra terrorist organization
to try to bring them down from within.
So basically, it's "Donnie Brasco" meets "G.I. Joe,"
and, as executive producer BComp put it--
- [BComp] It's awesome!
- Hell, yeah!
So how would these movies tie into the two movies
that we already got in the Joe-niverse?
Well, "Snake Eyes" appears to be a prequel,
so we wouldn't be surprised if we saw
a couple of returning faces there.
We probably won't see Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson reprise
his role as Roadblock, because he's too expensive,
but we could see Channing Tatum suit up again as Duke.
Because we're not gonna see him any time soon as Gambit.
Now, between these films, it seems like
there are interesting things in store for the Joe-niverse.
Could these movies be the next step in Hasbro's
plan to cross-franchise toys' shared movie universe?
Who knows?
So we're gonna have to wait until "Snake Eyes"
hits theaters in October 2020 to find out.
But what do you folks think?
Did you like "Rise of the Cobra" and "Retaliation"?
What's your favorite "G.I. Joe" episode?
Ours (mouths "BComp's") is where Cobra Commander
carves his face into the moon.
Why did he do that?
- [BComp] So every night they would have
to look up and see Cobra Commander.
- Yes! (laughs)
And does this mean that we can bring pork chop sandwiches
back into the popular vernacular?
- Pork chop sandwiches!
- Let's discuss.
Nom, nom.
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Aww.
(bright electronic music)
(beep)
(cards shuffling)