(bright music)
- Hi, welcome to Wendy's.
What can I get for you today?
- Well, I'm at a drive-through on my way
to a meeting I'm late for, I could only want one thing.
- I'm, I meant, I don't.
- Lots and lots of chili!
When I think drive-through, I want something hot, sloppy,
and hard to eat.
Oh, chili is the perfect car food.
I like to order it without utensils
and hope that God is on my side.
- That makes perfect sense here at Wendy's.
Chili coming right up.
- Mm, I can't wait to spill it all over my lap.
Nothing better than sprinting into a meeting late
with loads and loads of hot chili all over your junk.
Oh, I can't wait for it.
Bring me that hot chili. Come to Papa!
Oh, ho, ho, ho! Yeah!
Oh baby!
Woo!
- [Voiceover] Every Wendy's ever.
- Excuse me?
Your slogan says, "Fresh, never frozen." Is that true?
- Yeah, that's true. All of our food is fresh.
- But what about the Frosties?
- Well yeah, those are frozen because they're-
- Are you lying to me?
I swear to God, I will sue the (beep) out of you.
This is gonna be like that one time when that lady found
a finger in her chili, but worse.
- Oh, that actually turned out to be fake.
- I want a fresh Frosty, not a frozen one.
My fragile digestive system can only handle fresh.
- What that even-
- I want a hot, liquid Frosty, straight from the utter,
like the way the Lord intended it to be
or take that fricking sign down, liar!
- Okay, Tucker. We got another one.
- Oh boy. My favorite part of the day.
Fresh hot liquidy Frosty coming right up.
I'll fire up the old utter.
- Thanks, Tucker. (cow moos)
- [Voiceover] Wendy's!
- Holy (beep). I'm a genius.
- I'm the first person to ever do this!
- Hello, patent office? Me again.
I've got another idea I'd like
to trademark before anyone else ever thinks of it.
Get this, a fry in a Frosty.
I know what you're thinking. It sounds crazy.
Sweet and salty, the world isn't ready.
Well, it is! It is!
- [Voiceover] Wendy's.
- I'll do Dave's Double, no cheese.
- Of course.
- All right, Dave.
- Hey Dave. I'm sorry, we need that.
- God damn it! Why's it always gotta be mine?
- Well, actually wait, hold on a second.
You can have this.
See ya.
(bright music)
♪ Wendy's ♪
- Hi there. - Ope, hi!
Welcome to Wendy's. How are you today?
- My daughter and I are going on a cross country road trip.
And what better road trip snack than 30
to 40 baked potatoes.
- Makes perfect sense here at Wendy's.
- But dad, what am I supposed to eat?
(group laughing)
No, but seriously, Dad,
we need to talk about your starch intake.
- I'm gonna eat my potatoes, okay?
- I'm worried about you.
- I don't care, daughter.
(laughs) We're gonna have so much fun.
- So much fun. - We're gonna go see
the Statue of Liberty. - Oh.
- [Voiceover] Wendy's nuts.
- Okay, so so far we've tricked people into thinking
that both baked potatoes and chili are fast food items
you can eat in a moving car.
What else can we get away with?
- Oh, oh, like a whole uncut pomegranate.
- Ooh, now you're thinking. Tucker?
- Raw corn on the cob, double husk!
- Perfect!
- Oh, oh! Like a scalding bag of clam chowder!
- Ooh, we're in the big leagues now, baby!
- We could call it the Clam Clam Clam!
- Yes!
(woman screaming) - Yes, yes!
(group screaming)
- [Voiceover] Frosty.
- Okay, so- - Oh, it's you again.
- If everything is fresh,
why would you guys call it a fresh salad?
Is it fresher than the patties?
- Oh, I don't know-
- Did somebody give birth to it this morning?
- What? - Did the Caesar salad hatch
from a fresh salad egg before I got in line?
- I'm sorry, ma'am, do you know how salads work?
- If you can't give me a fresh salad straight
from the Caesar's womb,
then why would you call it fresh?
Don't make me make my Dad sue the (beep) out of you.
- Okay, sorry I'm late.
I'm ready to start birthing the salad.
- Oh, thank God, Tammy. We need ya today.
Everyone keeps ordering (beep) salad.
- Well I'm ready to serve. - There she is.
- [Voiceover] Frosties.
- Water without a container.
Every driver is automatically in the splash zone.
- Yes, yes, yes!
- Handfuls of salmon! - But salmon that is living!
- Ooh, this is why I love you Tucker
and that's why you're the employee of the month, (beep).
- Onion rings!
- Out.
- You are done-ion rings.
- You will be sacrificed to the grease pit.
- Grease, grease, grease. - No, no.
- [Both Men] Grease, grease, grease, grease,
grease, grease, grease.
- [Voiceover] The meat is square.
- Can I get a Dave's Triple with no onions?
- [Dave] Oh, goddamn it! I was just about to eat this one!
- Dave, you signed a contract.
- [Dave] You know what? Damn you, Tucker.
Damn you all!
- Am I taking a burger from an old person?
- Oh, absolutely not. I am.
- [Voiceover] The meat is square.
- I just found a finger in my chili
and it doesn't even look fresh!
What kind of garbage establishment is this?
- Ma'am, that's your own finger attached to your body.
- Well you might as well just serve people
a severed finger covered in chili.
Chili finger! Chili finger! Chili finger!
- Ooh, I like that idea.
Chili finger! - Chili finger!
We did it. - That's enough.
- Can I have your finger?
- Yeah, I think we need your finger as a prototype, to test.
- Yeah, yeah. - We'll give you six bucks.
- Six bucks for your finger.
- Make that $69.
- Dollars? - She didn't specify.
You want to see it happen?
Would you like to,
would you like to be involved in the birthing process?
- This Wendy's very interactive.
- Yeah, absolutely.
We have, it's dinner and a show.
- Come around the counter, baby.
- Yeah come over here. - Come on.
- I'm the. I'm sorry.
Can I just try again? This broke.
- Hi, I'm Dave from Wendy's.
Yeah, I eat cheese like a mouse. So what?
I named the restaurant after my daughter.
Wow, you know, you think about it that way.
- We don't pay you to think, Dave.
We don't pay you at all
because someone doesn't read what they sign.
- Hey, I think you're being really rude to Dave.
- No, this is just like, - He seems-
- [Dave] This is what we do, it's like a fun.
- It's like a fun thing.
- Is it like sexual in anyway?
- Very much so. - Very.
- I wonder if Dave's single.
- His wife died in '73.
- Oh, okay. - He's very single.
- He's grieving. - Yeah. He he's a widower.
- Is he looking for a widow-wah?
- You don't want that.
- Okay. - Trust me. No money.
No prospects. - That's okay.
I'm looking to support a man.
- Is that right? - Yeah.
- All right. I'll go get him. - Go get him.
- But he's very much, it's a project.
- I love, I'm a DIY-er.
- Okay. All right. - Mm hmm.
Do it yourself.
- Whoa. - Yeah.
- Great. - Cut!
- I'm worried.
- Starting to sound like your mother.
We know how she turned out.
She's a doctor.
Very proud of you.
- She's a potato, Dad.
- She is a potato. That's right.
Mrs. Potato Head. - Aw, congrats.
- Thank you. She's great.
- I'm half-potato.
- That's right. This is my daughter, she's half potato.
- Wow. - A miracle.
Doctor's said there's no way she would live.
- My bottom half is potato.
- My dad's name was Dave.
- Is your name Wendy? - Yes.
- [Dave] Wow, that's a crazy coincidence.
- My liege. She has returned!
The clarion trumpets sound!
The queen has returned home!
- Dad, I'm coming to save you!
- Please don't. - Please, yes! I missed you!
You missed my birth of my- - No, I owe at lot
of child support. - Dogs.
- [Producer] All right, cut.