- Do you drink wine?
- I do not.
- Do you drink coffee?
- I do not.
- That's crazy 'cause guess what
Mormons also don't.
(giggles)
Hmm, getting warmer.
("In the Hall of the Mountain King" by Edvard Grieg)
- Hi, my name's Isla Gizon.
- You can call me Pastor Abe.
I'm a traveling speaker.
Evangelist, I just talk to people.
- [Interviewer] About?
- Jesus.
- [Interviewer] Are you religious?
- I'm a seminary drop out.
I actually was a youth pastor for a handful of years.
My old Pastor stole a bunch of money from me,
it's a long story.
- [Interviewer] Today you're gonna be guessing
which religion everybody is.
- Oh, this is gonna be easy.
- 'Course I picked the sluttiest outfit that I
(laughs)
- [Interviewer] Everybody, walk on out there.
- This is gonna be offensive.
- [Interviewer] At your highest point,
how religious were you?
- Oh, I went through exorcisms,
I cried after sex.
(all laughing)
Edit that part out. Edit it out.
- Dude, your so hairy bro.
- Blue Flamingo Members Lounge.
Okay, sounds like a strip club.
(laughs)
- I'm like juggling between Jewish and Muslim.
- Why, what makes you say that?
- I'm guessing you're of, maybe perhaps,
Middle Eastern,
- Yeah.
descent, yeah?
- Yeah.
- Oh my God, that's super offensive.
- No, you're fine. - Okay.
- You're like Muslim, Islamic, right?
- Why do you say that?
- 'Cause of where your from.
- Where am I from?
- The Middle East, bro. You're like hairy.
- You're kinda hairy too.
- Yeah.
- Skinny jeans, hip, strip club.
(giggles)
So I think, atheist.
- [Interviewer] Alright, next.
- I'll take that.
- Thank you.
- Okay.
- Hi - Hi
(laughs)
- Are you Jewish?
- Why do you think I'm Jewish?
- I'm starting to think that I think
that everyone looks Jewish.
This is bad you guys.
I've been binge watching The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.
- Like your sense of style, very covered up though.
The only part of your skin I see is your face.
- Evangelical.
- Say John three sixteen.
- Oh God,
(laughing)
- Boom! I got, I know exactly what she is now.
You're Jewish. Say,
I don't know anything in Jewish lish.
- L'chaim
- Oh, my gosh, this guy's a Jew.
I mean, that sounded bad.
(laughing)
That sounded bad.
(laughs)
I'm about to get in trouble for this.
(laughing)
- Oo, Oo.
- Thank you.
- What brand are they?
- I've no idea.
- You don't believe in brands.
(scoffs)
Fascinating.
- What?
- You don't believe in brands.
Which is kinda like not believing in holidays.
Which kinda sounds like you're a Jehovah Witness.
- What is your name?
- Shiraz
- Okay, so wine, you're Italian.
And Italians are predominantly Christian.
(claps)
Hot now!
- Oh man. What's your ethnicity?
- I'm Israeli.
- Is there any foods you can't eat?
- Well I eat everything but in my religion
we can't eat pork.
- Are you kidding me?
- Wait.
- How many religions can't eat pork
other then the one that I know?
- It's okay.
- Jewish, everyone seems Jewish.
(laughs)
- Okay, mm hmm yeah,
the tattoo looks tribal.
- You look,
like Indian.
She's Hindu.
- Is it 'cause I'm brown?
- Yeah, it is, a little bit.
- But you're brown too.
- It looks like a Pacific Islander tattoo.
So I would say Mormon. A lot of Samoans are Mormons.
- How's it?
- Your Hawaiian bro.
(laughs)
- I was born in Hawaii.
- Knew it, I knew it.
- My mother's in Brooklyn.
- So you've got some Puerto Rican, your Catholic.
Got it! You just gave it away bro.
- Nice button up shirt.
I feel like you just took off your clergy collar.
(laughs)
- Can you sing me your favorite hymn?
- ♪ They shall live at His command ♪
- You're a Jehovah's Witness.
- You're a Father.
You're a Catholic Priest.
Motherfucker.
(laughing)
- Oh my God.
- Are you Asian?
- I get that a lot but no, I'm Hispanic.
- Oh, Catholic.
(tongue clicks)
- 'Cause I'm Hispanic I'm Catholic?
- One thousand percent.
- Water proof shoes, that means you're on the road a lot.
Walking a lot, traveling, doing important stuff
for the Lord.
- Can you sing for me too?
- ♪ I see my mother kneeling with her family each day ♪
- That sounded a lot like my cousin's
like when I would attend Mormon church.
- Do you drink wine?
- I do not.
- Do you drink coffee?
- I do not.
- Does your church have a basketball court?
- Yes.
- Ah ha! I got it!
- You're Mormon.
- She's Mormon.
- Catholic. I got that one.
Right on the money bro.
- I love your head scarf.
I don't necessarily think that makes you Muslim.
- Where are you from?
- Ghana.
- There's a lot of missionary trips that goes out to Ghana.
I'm a have to go with Christian.
- Amish, they wrap their heads too.
Black Amish curve ball.
(laughing)
- [Interviewer] How do you think you did?
(laughs)
- Terribly.
- I think I only really got the Catholic Priest right.
- I think I got this guy for sure, for sure.
The hairiness, I can't get over it.
- [Interviewer] Raise your hand if he got you right.
(laughs)
- Shut the front door.
One, two, three, four.
- Oh! Wow, I did so much better than I thought.
- Wow. Strip club man.
- Alright.
So I'm actually Muslim.
- Oh, Okay.
- I just couldn't get over the hairiness bro.
- It's just, I feel like I'm a bad representation
for Muslims.
- No, no you're perfect bro.
- Let's say if I was of Asian descent.
- Are there a lot of Chinese Muslims?
- Yeah, there's like a whole city dedicated
to Chinese Muslims.
- I did not know that.
- Yeah.
- I'm Jewish.
- Oh, okay.
- What gave it away?
- I don't know dude, I'm telling you, I thought everyone
was Jewish at first.
(laughs)
- Were actually reformed Jews, specifically.
- What does that mean?
- Judaism is a very strict religion
like they don't want men and women
to be in the same temples
and reformed Jews disagree with that completely.
- What stereotype do you hate the most about Jewish people?
- People will assume that I'm really stingy with money.
- Yeah I've heard that.
- Yeah.
- Not heard that you're stingy with money.
I heard that stereotype and it's fucked up.
(laughs)
- Oo, I got you wrong didn't I?
- Yeah, you called me Italian or something.
(laughs)
I'm from Israel.
- Oh! I would never have guessed that.
- I'm not Jewish.
- I knew that.
- What is your religion?
- I'm Druze.
- Druze, oh interesting.
What is that?
- So we come from the Middle East.
- What about here in America?
How many Druze do you have?
- I don't meet any Druze here.
- Oh.
- We have like five main prophets that we believe in.
- Who are the five?
- I can't say out loud.
It'd be too offensive.
- Oh.
- We're not allowed to say their names out loud.
- Do you have to marry a Druze?
- Yes.
- So if you brought home like a Korean, Black, Druze man
- I would be kicked out from my village.
- Sorry Mom.
(laughing)
- Hello.
- Hi, so I'm Hindu.
- Okay, but that's not a Hindu tattoo, right?
- No this is Fijian. I'm Fijian.
- Oh.
- Yeah. There's a lot of Hindu Fijians.
- Wow.
- So basically the British stole my
great, great, great, great, great, grandpa
and took him to Fiji.
- From India.
- That happened, yeah from India.
- Those Brits man.
(laughs)
- Father.
- I'm actually one of Jehovah's Witnesses.
- Oh, I knew there was one of you here.
(laughs)
- Jehovah's Witness.
- Yes. - Oh!
- No that was really, 'cause I thought legit,
yeah she's not gonna guess I'm JW.
Oh, what?
(laughs)
- Correct me if I'm wrong,
but you guys don't even celebrate your birthdays, right?
- Yeah, we don't.
- So you've never a birthday party?
- No.
- Have you ever knocked my door?
- No.
- If you did I would answer it.
- Okay, I appreciate that.
- Next.
(laughing)
- So I'm not Catholic.
- Oh, what are you then?
- I belong to the
Church of Jesus Christ of Ladder Day Saints.
- Oh.
- Have you heard of them?
- Yeah, yeah Mormons right?
- Yeah, but we don't go by Mormons.
Yeah, 'cause we don't wanna take Christ's name
out of the Church.
- Does that mean a Mormon doesn't call themselves a Mormon?
- Not anymore, they advise us to correct that now.
- Oh, who's they?
- Our prophet.
- Who's your prophet?
- President Nelson
- Oh, he's like the Pope of the Mormon Church.
- Yeah, we have a Ladder Day Prophet.
- Oh, yeah that's what I meant, that's what I meant.
- Yes.
- Ladder Day, my bad.
- Why do everybody think Mormons have many wives?
- Well back in the day, I guess,
there wasn't husbands because of the wars and stuff.
- So it was just based on the fact
that there was a shortage of men?
- Yes.
- There's a lot of talk about the Mormon underwear.
- Oh garment.
- Is that a true thing that you guys never take off?
- Okay so,
- That's a weird thing.
I feel bad for asking.
- It's sacred garments to remind us
of the covenants we make in the temple.
- But you can never take that sucker off?
- We don't have to shower in it or anything.
- You stick a middle finger before?
- Yes, I have.
- Can we stick it together?
Oh! Oh ho!
(laughing)
Bad Mormon.
- Oh, I got you right. I know I got you right.
(laughs)
I know I got, Christian right?
- Yeah.
- Boom. We just have that telepathy going.
- What type of Christian?
- So my parents grew up Methodist,
so I'm Methodist.
- I grew up Methodist.
- Oh really?
- With the flame on the side of the cross.
- Uh huh, yes, yes.
- Do you usually wear a head wrap?
- I'm wearing it 'cause it's cold outside.
- Oh. - So.
- So is there a difference
between Christianity here
versus Christianity there?
- Yeah, so for me I grew up here
but my family is originally from Ghana
so they're a lot more strict
on what they believe and certain things.
Like pre marital sex,
same sex marriages, all of that stuff.
Like I would say I'm more open to like certain ideas
than they would be.
- Well, thank you.
- Yeah, no problem.
- Fellow United Methodist.
- Yes.
- I've got a lot of student debt
from my Methodist upbringing.
(laughs)
- I kinda did good.
- [Interviewer] How'd that go for you?
(exhales)
- I feel bad 'cause I said a lot of stuff
that I feel like I'm a get in trouble for.
- [Interviewer] Did you learn anything new?
- Druze, is that how you say it?
- Yeah, Druze.
- Yeah, I learned that exists.
- I feel very blessed
and I'm gonna probably go to heaven now.
- [Interviewer] Raise your hands.
Is he going to heaven?
(jeers and giggles)
- [Interviewer] Well good job.
(applause)
- Thanks everyone.
(crowd murmuring)