(Anthony) When Batman plays baseball,
do you think he bats with a Batbat?
(Ian) SHUT UP!!!
(heavy sigh)
Okay, what's wrong, Batman?
Nothing.
You can tell me.
I'm fine.
I can tell something's obviously wrong.
Just tell me!
It's just I got a haircut today
and you didn't say anything.
You're wearing a mask!
I need you to be more present!!!
(sobbing)
I'm sleeping on the couch, Robin.
♪ Batman's a bitch! ♪
♪ (interlude music) ♪
(flushing)
Damn it, Robin!
If it's yellow, let it mellow
and if it's brown, flush it dowwwwn.
We're trying to conserve water here.
Yeah.
We're in the middle of a drouuuught!
♪ (interlude music) ♪
F*ck that.
♪ (interlude music) ♪
All right, guys, truth or dare?
I can only do truth, not dare.
Okay, so what's your secret identity?
Uh... I can't do that one.
Just do a dare, Batman.
I'M NOT DOING A DAAAARE!
♪ (interlude music) ♪
Oh, we should get their sandwich.
Gluten allergy.
Okay, then the ice cream.
Dairy allergy.
Then how about their dairy and gluten free pecan pie?
Nut allergy.
Jesus Christ, Batman!
♪ (interlude music) ♪
♪ (romantic music) ♪
♪ (suspenseful music) ♪
Huh?
RACHEEEEEL!
♪ (interlude music) ♪
Who invented this death trap?
JOKEEEER!
Ow!
♪ (interlude music) ♪
(flushing repetitively)
I heard that!
♪ (interlude music) ♪
Before we go with seating,
we're gonna go ahead and board our children
and our handicapped passengers, so come on.
Sir? What are you doing?
Uh... I'm emotionally handicapped.
My parents were killed by a robber when I was a child.
That sounds a lot like Bruce Wayne.
Uh... nooooo.
♪ (interlude music) ♪
Swear to me you'll never do it again!
I-I--
SWEAR IT!
RACHEL, SWEAR TO ME!!
♪ (interlude music) ♪
Oh-ho-ho, whassup, Batman?
What the hell?
I don't want any trouble!
(heavy breathing)
That was a close one.
♪ (interlude music) ♪
Huh?
Who put this on backwards?!
JOKEEEEER!
♪ (interlude music) ♪
Oh, I love candles.
HEY!
Which one of you went over the ten dollar limit?
I know for a fact that thing
costs $13.99 at Bed Bath & Beyond.
Batman, there was a sale.
- I thought that I-- - A SALE?!
You go by original sticker price!!!
You know what?
If you guys aren't gonna play by the rules,
then there's no more parties!
This whole thing's a sham!
♪ (interlude music) ♪
So we just gonna split the check then?
Uh, no.
I only had water.
And half my pizza.
No, I didn't.
Then who did?
Jokeeeeer.
Come on.
He's up to his tricks again.
♪ Batman's a little bitch! ♪
(Batman) Make sure you subscribe,
unless you have a fear of commitment.
(laughing) Robin.
(harrumphing)
To see bloopers and some deleted scenes
of me being a bitch,
click the video on the leeeft.
You don't really know what that means, do you?
Shut up! You're not my dad!!!
(Batman) And click the video on the right
to see the Smosh movie trailer.
Your best bet is to change the video from the inside.
Holy sh--!!!
(Batman) It's better than watching both your parents die
in an alley and swearing your life to justice.
I really need to see a therapist.
Robin?! You get down here.
No, I don't know how to use the Batphone.
That's your job.