[Music]
because I have a disability with sex I
got confidence and because of that my
life is like so much better
[Music]
welcome back to all access pass I'm
Spencer Williams and up next I will be
talking about physical disabilities and
sexuality what time is all access pass
again 5 to 6 p.m. on Thursdays oh that's
perfect well I can help out with boards
too yeah oh really yeah that would be
awesome thanks so much for your help
yeah of course I'm happy to do it good
singing guys yeah you too
Spencer Williams is a 24 year old radio
show host living with cerebral palsy in
Vancouver he's been a client of central
solutions for over a year
my name is Trish central solutions is my
little organization that I started just
you know don't exclude yourself from
living we're here to help you kickstart
that so to speak
this is the main broadcast studio and
this is where all the magic happens and
you host a radio show yeah a show called
all-access pass and what we focus on is
disability and disability issues right
now it's a monthly show since I am so
passionate about the subject sex and
disability I actually convinced my show
to do a mini-series on the subject
sex surrogates also called intimacy
coaches are professionals who are hired
to provide a sensual touch and erotic
coaching for people with sexual
dysfunction or physical challenges with
the goal of improving the quality of the
client's future sexual life sensual
solutions is a Vancouver based company
that caters specifically to clients with
disabilities pairing clients with
intimacy coaches who help them to
overcome obstacles in their sex lives
due to Canada's laws around paid sexual
services companies like sensual
solutions operate in a legal gray space
in countries where sex work is
criminalized ethical debates have arisen
about whether sex should be a right for
everyone what was the response to your
sex episode it's been really well
received
I think it's been our most important
episode to date that's so interesting
it's really hard to talk about the
subject of sexuality in the world of
disability what gives you the confidence
to be able to do that well sensual
solutions gave me an avenue to look at
sex and disability in a different in a
different light it's really great to
work at a radio station that has allowed
me to open up about a topic that I am so
passionate about I think the sexuality
and with any sensitive subject it's just
so helpful for people to hear the
stories of people with similar
experiences and similar bodies it just
makes you not feel so alone yeah it's
it's important to give
people of all abilities access to
something to make them feel comfortable
yeah I have to advocate for myself
because if I don't who else is going to
do it
[Music]
hey it's Trish calling thank you very
much for applying with us can you give
me a quick rundown of where you're at
now what you're doing for work and why
you applied
I started central solutions because I
saw a need in Vancouver for people with
disabilities who weren't getting the
same kinds of services that other people
were getting in relation to sexuality
and sensuality how are you able to
discover that need after I retired from
my corporate life I started answering
phones at an escort agency and what I
noticed was that there were some clients
who would call in they would like to see
someone however they did let me know
that they had a disability and I found
it difficult to match the escorts that
worked at this company with these
clients I thought no this is what I want
to do there has to be a service that
helps people with disabilities and I
thought what's the big deal you know
help them get together help them get
into a position help them if they need
help with a condom like why should they
not have that right so I opened the
doors in the fall of 2011 why do you
think it is that there is such a lack of
services for disabled people when it
comes to sex is it just because we gonna
be sexualized disabled people because we
don't want to deal the biggest
misconception about people living with
disabilities is that people with
disability don't get horny I really
don't think people realize that there's
thousands and thousands of people living
with disability that have no sex life
and some clients just say I just need to
find out that I'm human and that I'm
worthy how do you describe exactly what
you're offering is it a form of therapy
but it's medically assisted sexuality we
have a range of things cuddling
lots of touching possibly some kissing
trial where someone might want to do a
lot of massaging so let's say someone's
genitalia isn't functioning we'll try
and find something else remapping of the
brain trying to find new pleasure
centers basically what we're talking
about here is helping the client access
their body for pleasure have you ever
done a threesome yeah my client I got to
being so open-minded you can tell you
like music I'm a fan of music in general
they're legends going way back when you
were young did you feel pressure when
people that you know that you that were
your age and your friends started having
their first sexual experiences did you
feel okay I need to do this now - no Wow
it was actually the opposite like I'd be
like 11 and watch movies like American
Pie and think like okay I have to lose
my virginity before high school's out
American Pie seems like a dangerous
place to get your sex ed looking back II
probably wasn't the greatest and then as
I got older I realized that that no I'm
gonna do the smart thing and just wait
for the right person maybe try some
dating we'll see how that works out
but it wasn't getting anywhere and I was
getting kind of frustrated and then a
few more years passed and I'm like okay
now it really needs to happen so I
started researching like different
agencies and everything I found was like
really shady and made me really nervous
and then I came across Trish and central
solutions I had like a couple of like
good close friends start to use the
service - oh cool if my friend can do it
I could do it what's there to lose
except my virginity which I need to get
rid of yeah exactly
so I told my dad about what I was
wanting to do and he thought it was
pretty cool so it was just awesome that
he gets it what did it mean for you to
finally be able to have a sexual
experience through central solutions
I was hella nervous but I knew that I'd
finally found an outlet to express and
connect with another human being
[Music]
she's good just meal like fellas dream
[Laughter]
Jefferson with disability there's a
certain level of vulnerability and you
have to be okay with absolutely
my mom is uncomfortable with it but she
understands she's like a lawyer
you think deals with like human
trafficking okay she's on the opposite
side of like sex work yeah so really
though she's uncomfortable with you
doing this because she's at waiting
what's going wrong with sex trafficking
yeah no it's therapy really yeah my dad
got really mad and it was like she wants
to do it this is joy so we devalue
something that he's really passionate
about great well cause like I was saying
what's the alternative
there's nothing supportive yeah I'm a
grown man I can make my own decisions
and it has serious repercussions I can
deal with yeah I can deal with those
yeah that was a comment right yeah
that's interesting in and of it she was
human trafficking lawyer to me what
we're talking about in this situation is
your race your flee the race as my
rights are being infringed upon right
yeah no one's going to be pretty fun I'm
just super thankful for this cuz like it
allows me to practice or your future
wife and
exactly and I know she's up there
somewhere I just haven't absolutely go
in service where I feel like sure it may
be expensive
but you can't put a price on this
experience I have a good time during
these sessions so it's it's worth to
invest in things I was gonna say the
value the yeah 100%
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
how do you feel about sexual assistance
in kind of a medical scenario using your
body using your skin having being nude
or partially new do you have any
boundaries and in that regard
what's your hiring process like we have
a basic application form and then we do
a phone screening and then meet in
person criminal record chat and most of
them have some kind of health background
that's what I'm looking for we give them
some training and they'll learn about
let's say basic pivot transfers from a
chair to a bed what motivates your
coaches to want to work with disabled
clients and that is a question that's
asked in the interview process so for
example one coach has someone in their
life that does have a disability another
person is a human rights activist and
feels that this work needs to be done
another coach just said she was very
open minded and there's nothing wrong
with using parts of your body to give
pleasure to someone else or to help them
access their body that must mean they're
really good people
I think we've hired some wonderful
people it's interesting how I found out
about sensual solutions I had a friend
send me an article about the agency and
she said I think you'd be really great
for this job and then about a year later
I saw an article in the newspaper and it
was featuring Trish and her company
again and because I'm pursuing a career
in sexual health I contacted her and we
became friends because I believe in the
cause of what she's doing
so I think it's important that everyone
have their sexual needs met it's a basic
human right it's not a privilege like
riding a bicycle or ice skating I'm
currently studying for my clinical
psychology degree the goal is to get my
doctorate in human sexuality I'm
basically doing the work now that I'm
getting certified to say that
doing so a lot of the clients that you
meet
do they not even really understand what
they want you have to almost work with
them to help them discover what they
want sexually quite often yes very often
like we will have people who've never
experienced being with a woman they've
never seen a woman naked and it's very
educational there are so many ways to be
intimate so this is where we get into a
lot of the somatic sex work and body
work I've had clients orgasm by having
their earlobes massaged there are many
different ways to achieve climax that
doesn't necessarily involve penetration
or intercourse and what do you get out
of it like what's how would you leave a
session what do you feel I love making
people feel good and I'm I'm good at
doing that I think it's very healing
watching a transformation someone going
from being scared and nervous and
insecure to by the time I'm done with my
session with them they're open and we're
laughing and they're confident and
they're free to ask anything and it's
the the energy is just it's night and
day it's so different when you tell
people what you do how they usually
react I have encountered some people
being condescending about it it's
because they also have a lot of triggers
around the sex industry and sex work in
general and what they think that means
they think about prostitution and sex
trafficking and that is not anything
close to what it is that we're dealing
with here the stigma that exists around
this type of thing this puritanical idea
that the no sexual interaction should be
exchanged for any type of money right
exactly and it's funny because people
say oh you're you're you're selling your
body which is completely untrue what's
happening as a service is being provided
you're choosing to participate in an
activity that everyone does sex is just
as important as air and water in terms
of thriving and surviving as a species
on the planet so sex work it serves
society it has a function and it does
help people it really believes that the
world needs more people like you
I'm doing so cool at first I was a
little uneasy about paying for it but
just seeing how much of a connection I
was getting I'm like okay there are
people that are there for you to just
help you explore and find your true self
it's boosted my confidence by a thousand
percent like it's just changed every
area of my life every time I have a
session it still feels like my first
time it still feels brand new I still
get those butterflies
you