- [Colin] You're trying some German candy!
- Good!
Gute!
- "Gute Fahrt."
That means safe journey.
- Good fart?
- Gute Fahrt.
(Upbeat German Instrumental Music)
- When I think Germany, I don't think chocolate.
I think sausage, I think like bratwurst or something.
I think of meat, I think beef. - Yeah.
Are we getting any beef?
- I'm always thinking sausage.
- I only really know savory German foods.
- I'm thinking the same. - Like schnitzel
and bratwurst and.
- And, what are those things, like, they look like pretzels?
- Pretzels.
- I've been in Germany,
so I presume I ate candy while I was there.
They probably don't call it candy though.
- I went to Hamburg and saw a stripper called Candy.
(Upbeat German Instrumental Music)
- Erfrischungsstabchen.
Orange-Zitrone-Mix.
- Erfrischungsstabchen.
- Why is there an orange and a lemon on the package?
This is the blackest shit I've ever seen.
This looks like dirt.
- Awe, they're friends.
It's like me and you.
Best pals.
(laughing)
Little me and Clisare.
- [Clisare] Yeah.
- [Colin] Refreshment sticks.
- Oh my God! (laughing)
This is very refreshing!
- I literally can't smell a fucking thing off that.
- No, I can, it's dark chocolate.
- Yeah, but there could be lots of
orange and lemony flavor in there
that just gets rid of the dark chocolate taste.
- Okay, let's go for it.
- Mm!
- Oh my God, it is, it's water.
- Oh! (screaming)
Oh, what the hell?
- Oh my God, oh my God.
Oh my God.
- Bite into it.
Ew, it's gross.
- I feel like we just got attacked.
- It's fucking like, do you know what that means?
The feeling that you have
when you've been betrayed by a chocolate.
- The flavor is good but I was not expecting the juice.
- And there's like a biscuit at the bottom.
- Yeah.
- That is bizarre.
It's magic, German magic.
- I'm genuinely stunned.
I'm stunned is what I am.
- This is... - Stunned!
- It's like a more watery, better version of an After Eight.
- [Colin] Feeling refreshed?
- No, I'm feeling angry.
- Imagine biting into a bit of chocolate
and in the inside it's water.
- It's water!
(laughing)
- Oh, that is nice.
- Throw it in as a whole bite.
That's lovely.
- It's like a fruit explosion in my mouth.
- And it just like trickles down your tongue.
- Oh course now, now you don't do it.
- Because when you bite it, it's like really water-full.
And then when you, like, go like that, it's like gone.
It's magic!
- We don't have snacks like this here, okay?
- No.
- Our snacks don't attack us.
- I do like them though, not gonna lie.
- That gets a 9 out of 10.
Hey!
(Upbeat German Instrumental Music)
- Jellies.
- Oh, I've had these before.
- German is even harder to read when it's in cursive.
- Oh fuck off, they're not German.
Trolli is like American is it not?
I am from Germany and I have never seen Trolli's.
- Yeah. (laughing)
- They sell them in a Lidl.
- Oh, do they? - Yeah.
- Oh cool.
Lidl is German.
- Apfelringe.
Apfelringe?
- Apfelringe.
- Yeah, these are much more my speed.
I love a bit of Trolli, I do.
- Should I rim it? - Oh, smell it.
- Should I? - Rim it.
Do you think I should rim it?
- I'm gonna bite in.
- No, never do that. (laughing)
- Well, they're really nice. - It smells good.
- Yeah, they're nice.
I do like a Trolli. - Mhm.
- It's fine, It's not too soury.
- You don't get these exact ones in Ireland.
These are more flavorsome I think.
- I always have them in the cinema.
You sneak them in.
- God, I'm a big fan of these.
- It's that artificial apple flavoring.
But it's good.
- If you drop this into like some vodka or something
you'd be happier.
- Please, you're giving me too many ideas.
- It hurts your teeth and gives you a headache
but I love them.
- And with seven vitamin, vitaminen.
- I highly contest that there are
seven vitamins in one of them.
- Seven vitamins?
Like that's more than I've had
in me life to be honest, I'd say.
I'd say ever in me life, I've never had seven vitamins.
- Can't even name seven vitamins.
- I love, love, love these.
Love sour, love sugar, love this shit.
Hell yeah. - I love food you can finger.
- Yeah they're tasty.
They're not sour at all, yeah.
They're actually nice.
I kind of like them, yeah.
- Good flavor, good bit of sugar.
- I'd prefer them a little bit more sour.
- Not as refreshing as the chocolate flavored water
or whatever the hell that was.
- Okay, I would give these, I'd say alright.
Satisfying.
Wouldn't be my favorite. - We're doing well Germany.
We're doing very well.
(Upbeat German Instrumental Music)
- Oh, these are adorable. - Oh, yes.
- Look at these little cuties.
What are they?
(gasping) There's a koala on them!
- They're not made with koala.
Can you eat koala?
Will we be trying koala one day?
- Oh. (tries reading German)
I'm sorry. - In their backs?
In their back tube?! (laughing)
Oh my God, that's horrible.
- That's so much more cartoon-y
than I expected Germans to be.
- Whoa, I just killed my, I just killed a koala.
Oh, well.
- Koalas are riddled with chlamydia.
- That's right, I have heard that, yeah.
- Most, Yeah.
- Maybe this one's having a wank.
Tell me I'm wrong Germany.
That koala is having a wank.
- Awe, Koalas are adorable.
- I bet they're chocolate on the inside.
(crunching)
- Mmmm.
- Oh my god, they're unreal.
- Isn't there something in them?
- Tiny little bit of white. - Yeah.
- Kinder Bueno, no actually sweeter.
- Buttery or something.
- Mm.
- What is that? Is it butter?
Is it chocolate butter, is that what's happening?
- Here's the thing, we're eating them one by one.
I imagine you grab a couple of these and just fuckin'.
- You could have a few koalas at a time.
- Yeah, I see what you mean.
I would of said more like a fortune cookie.
- It says milk.
Oh, milk flavored, that's probably it.
- I do wish it had more filling.
- I'd swallow it.
You wouldn't be spitting that out, you know what I mean?
- [Colin] Compared to the other two, how are they?
- It's like comparing jellies and biscuits, you know?
Different things, night and day.
- I suppose they are my fave, yeah,
they're probably the nicest things so far.
- But what's up with them and like
putting like liquids in chocolates and stuff?
Like we had water in chocolate
and now we got milk and a biscuit.
- They're very nice.
They're very, there's something very pure about them.
That's why we made jokes about chlamydia and stuff.
- They'd go really well with a cup of tea.
- Mmmm.
- They're a bit small though, you couldn't dunk them in.
- Oh, you can leave them floating
and then put the jelly rings around them
as like little lifesavers.
- You hate milk do you not?
- I hate milk, yeah.
- This is a turn-around. - Absolutely detest it.
- This is a turn-around for the books.
- Yeah, big time.
- I wanna know the backstory for um,
or the back tube of the koalas.
- There it is, there. - There's the back tube.
There's the back tube, on the back of them.
- Yep, that's it.
That's the back tube.
- Suck it straight out.
- But you like these?
- Yeah they're amazing.
Don't question it too much Clisare, alright?
- You're an enigma.
- Just trying to get the video.
- You're an enigma. - One video at a time.
(Upbeat German Instrumental music)
- A drink.
- Ahoj-Brause.
- How do you do German accent?
Ich bin ein German. Ich bin ein.
- Oh yeah.
You you're doing an impression of JFK
doing an impression of a German accent.
Yeah, that'll do it.
- Oh yes I am hungover and I do need electrolytes.
- There's like a picture of a sailor.
- Is ahoj, is that ahoy? - Ahoj.
- Is that ahoy?
- Oh, Brause-Pulver.
- Oh yeah, see you're way better at it.
- Is this a medicine?
- Oh see, Colin listening to me saying
I don't get enough water and now he's forcing me.
That's why we were meant be in the shoot.
- That's what is happening.
- Alright. - Cheers.
Here we go, cheers.
- It tastes exactly like Baraka.
- It's a Vitamin C tablet.
- Oh, it is a hundred percent.
Like that's not fucking sweet.
- Yeah no, that's medicine. - Like, honestly, fuck off.
- That's a flavored water.
It's not even effervescent, if I'm being honest.
- Got like really cool chocolate and jellies
and biscuits and all this sort of stuff.
And then there's this like weird sachet that like
looks as if it's gonna help me, like go to the toilet.
- Yeah.
- It reminds me of like doing an exam.
- Yeah.
- I would have one of these before.
- 100%
- And what's with the sailor?
They should've just stuck to their own.
If they wanna go with koalas,
they should've just had this as Koala piss or something.
- Why is there a sailor on that?
Sorry, sorry, let me give you this.
Oo, koala piss!
- Maybe they're giving us laxatives?
Maybe that's the gag!
Maybe that's the point of this.
- Irish people try laxatives.
- And then get really sick, oh my God.
- It tastes like medicine.
I mean, I like it, don't get me wrong.
- Yeah, it's great.
- [Colin] How does this compare to other,
kind of, eh--
- Other waters?
How does this compare to like other bland waters?
- The crystals at the bottom are good.
Kinda like sugary.
Or is it sugar that you put into it?
- It's takes something you give to an old person
in an old person home.
Do you know?
And then you'd say, oh, it's Fanta.
- [Colin] Does it make you say "oh yeah?"
- I mean, it's--
- It makes me, it barely makes me say blah.
(Sings A Jingle) (Fart Noise)
(Upbeat German Instrumental Music)
- Love the packaging.
- Oh, it's in a cone.
- Oh, it's like an icing thing.
- It's a good weapon.
If you ever wanted to.
- Moritz classic.
- Morits, ah, come on.
- Classic Moritz.
- What happened to the bottom of mine.
You went for the nips.
I was going for the eyes.
- Ice cups.
So is there gonna be something in these?
- Is there ice in them?
It's shaped like an icing bag.
- This is how I get the thumbnail every time Clisare.
- Whoo-oo-hoo-hoo.
- Noted. - It's that easy.
- Noted.
- That's not nice.
- Gritty.
- Mm.
- Tastes like cooking chocolate.
- Yeah, they're a bit too soft for me.
- Yeah. - I don't love it.
- It's like that really cheap
off-brand chocolate that I got as a kid.
- That's half chocolate, half cement.
- It does taste like cooking chocolate actually.
- Yeah, it's just like, it's cooking chocolate.
- I presumed there was something really exciting
gonna happen when I bit into them.
And it's actually quite average.
- God their chocolate's shite, isn't it?
- Really shit.
- Is this good German chocolate?
'Cause if it is, fuck sake, Germany.
- I'd only have two of them.
- Ah.
Well, I feel like, it kind of feels like
you're eating a bit of poo or something like.
Like it's got that texture.
- I did a shite this morning
and I think I'd rather have a bite of that.
This wasn't great.
- It would've been cool to have a little
icing surprise in the middle of them?
- It would have.
- If there was no other snacks I'd eat it, no problem.
- It looks very like, look.
- It's very inoffensive.
- Why don't they have the bottoms covered over?
- Yeah what's the point of just covering the top of it?
- What's the point of that? To let the ass breathe?
Like, what the hell? (laughing)
- There was a range.
I don't think I've had such a broad range of things
- That is so true.
- Under a category, in a video in fairness.
- It was pretty good.
Definitely, yeah.
There wasn't. - Full of surprises.
- None of them were like bad.
None of them were gross.
- I think the first one got a 9 out of 10.
but the rest of them get a "da".
- Jesus, that's bad.
- What's, is that what, what's "yes."
- [Colin] Ja? - Ja?
- Ja.
- Yah?
- [Colin] J-a, ja! - Or yes.
(laughing) - Oh, I thought it was "da".
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