sorry gals i just got caught up on the
phone
i have some good news and some bad news
oh is the bad news that there is no good
news
i never thought i'd see the day john
you've been domesticated beyond
recognition
next step is to fold in the cheese
what does that mean what does fold in
the cheese mean
he folds it in i i understand that but
how how do you fold it do you fold it in
half like a piece of paper and drop it
in the pot or what do you do
david i cannot show you everything okay
well can you show me one
thing you just
here's what you do you just fold it in
okay i don't know how to fold
broken cheese like that and i don't know
how to be any clearer
you take that thing that's in your hand
uh-huh and you if you say fold in
one more time it says fold it in
this is your recipe you fold in the
cheese then
don't you dare you fold it in dave end
oh good now i see bubbles david
what does burning smell like
i feel like we should break these into
categories um
fit fabric
and nationality or we could do this
keep or sell well those are keep
yourself uh keep
just kidding so sell them moira
the water's ice cold how long were you
in here
john you know my ritual five to ten
minutes to let the water warm
there's the initial scrub followed by
the deep conditioner which must set for
20 minutes
and finally the double rinse cycle
hey sorry to bother you i'm afraid mr
rose has just stepped out he's gone to
get coasters
yeah he said that you might be available
to help
did he it's just that we have um a bunch
of guests checking in
and i could really use some help now now
well then i am here for you stevie uh
let's see
uh something in a supervisory capacity
perhaps
then you can work the front desk oh
receptionist work is not my strong suit
that's more alexis's baliwick
the other option is changing the sheets
and mattress covers
then i shall keep watch over this front
desk how much trouble are we in who said
we're in trouble
i've dated enough wall street losers to
know that making things liquid is not a
good thing
no no we're fine we're fine honey no no
i just had to use
my unemployment check this month to pay
for all the raw milk that we
ordered hi sorry i'm late it's been a
busy morning
ah how are you
i'm fine thank you it's nice to see you
hmm talking to me i'm not used to that
uh level of kindness yes we haven't seen
each other in weeks so i was just saying
it's nice to see you i'm gonna ignore
that passive aggression and instead
lean into the fact that we're both
working professionals now and mama oprah
would be very proud of us
dad can you bring me some juice be right
there honey
yes we'll be right there i knew this day
would come john
isolated impoverished cut off from all
medical services
i only prayed it wouldn't be elect says
it's just a cold moira oh it's always
just a cold john until it's full-blown
typhoid i don't have typhoid well of
course you don't what are the chances of
that
do you remember valentina this is as far
as i go
alexis one of us has to stay safe for
david
i'm already in the room see we're still
alive moira i think we're gonna be okay
of course you are that's the spirit i'm
just going to close this
door until you're done sorry
i'm sorry i have to go to this jazzagas
rehearsal lexus so i'll need your word
you'll remain stable
we're a long way from any hospitals
you can't be playing fast or loose with
those symptoms
oh honey honey i need to ask you a
serious question
has it gotten worse are you just not
wearing any makeup you're freaking out
is not helping anything
well i'm sorry dear but you're the first
one to get sick here and i
i i can't i don't i appreciate your
concern i'm just only
cold and i just need to get better
you're right
do i have a fever though i don't know
can you see
i think you have to do without the
tissue
you're right okay put your hand up on
the forehead
mom
it's warm how warm i don't know alexis
i'm not a nurse
alexis you continue to amaze me i can't
wait to do this with you oh we're gonna
need to get shots
yes let's celebrate uh no no i meant
like uh vaccinations
um david do you know where the car keys
are yeah i have them
oh well then why isn't your name on the
sign out sheet because you're the only
one using that sign-out sheet
david i need the car keys your father's
driving me to thornbridge
i'm driving into thornbridge to the
municipalities conference yes
i thought roland offered to drive you oh
he did but no thanks
i can't take four hours in a truck with
roland and leonard skynyrd
okay alexis and i need the car we're
running some errands for the store today
um since when uh since i need your help
for a pickup and mom clearly already has
a lift and i'm pretty sure parents are
supposed to put their children before
themselves
oh really no if airplane safety videos
have taught me anything david
it's that a mother puts her own mask on
first ah see and that's precisely why we
have the sign out sheet for this kind of
dispute okay fine
oh alexis you're almost 40 if you want
some food prepare yourself some food
there is no food nobody can cook this is
basically child abuse
david can cook i can't cook alexis why
don't you cook you can cook
yeah i can't cook why don't you cook
well i i could i i could john john this
is embarrassing
fine i'll cook dinner tonight
there once was a radiant young actress
who dreamed of having two sons
the second of which would be named alex
i don't like this story
now it seems the vivacious daytime emmy
nominee was
surprised by how taken she was with this
unanticipated daughter mostly because
she didn't cry as much as the unmannerly
son
but also because she was adventurous
carefree so beautiful
just like her mother
alexis you're on my arm
dad what did you do to my paper i didn't
do anything i didn't do anything with
your paper
your laptop was open i did
a little editing nothing major i have
been accused of plagiarism
what yeah jocelyn thought i cheated
because someone used words like
duplexity and back towards untoward
whatever wait one pizza what is this
lame is
yes it's a dignified family symposium
david not some
all one can consume smorgasbord
what are you planning on doing with a
pile of wood
oh um a family of moths
seem to have mistaken my cashmere
sweaters for an atlantic city
all-you-can-eat buffet
and i plan on putting a stop to that so
i'm building a cedar chest for my nets
you're planning on building a cedar
chest that's correct
you are you're gonna build it it's a box
so you're just nailing some planks of
wood together anyway if you've seen the
state of my sweaters
you know that i have very little choice
in the matter so he photographed you
today then mm-hmm you know just uh a few
dozen
snaps about town picturettes really
why would you have allowed this to
happen i don't know he just started
shooting
and shouting and i did what he told me
to do and i leaned in to the moment
how did that work out for you i leaned
in i don't know david
why don't you try it sometime
this is ridiculous this is how you learn
everyone is looking at me now no one is
looking at you
john remind me to reprimand that latch
has been
awfully moody today oh john
hold me good is coming it has to
david full disclosure you have been
awfully clingy of late
okay what a unanimously disastrous day
this is turning out to be
what
how are we still dropped in this gothic
horror show
hello you are are we all ready to spin
the wheel of life today
even vanna white didn't laugh at that
one i like the outfit you chose
heading to the cafe
it's always nice to dress for dinner
[Music]
women aren't funny your wife must have a
sense of humor
she's seen you naked oh
drop my cucumber do i call you or do i
just commit a crime
probably committing a crime would get me
to you quicker this is me
my most inviting thank you and good
night
[Applause]