And I was running a bit behind today
so I thought if you guys wouldn't mind,
I'd just like to write out my weekly
Thank You Notes right now. Is that cool?
[ Cheers and applause ]
You guys are the best.
James, can I get some Thank You Note writing music, please?
♪♪
Gosh. -Wow.
-Such a good mood.
It just cheers you up.
-Sizzles.
[ Laughter ]
[ Duck noise ]
[ Laughter ]
-Sorry.
[ Laughter ]
[ Duck noises ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Duck noises ]
[ Laughter ]
Thank you.
[ Laughter ]
Oh, my gosh.
-Double barrel. -He gave me the --
yeah, yeah yeah.
Thank you, knuckles, or as I like to call you,
finger knees.
[ Laughter ]
-Really? -Yeah.
Yep. -That's what you call them?
-I like to call them that.
Thank you, cornucopias, for being the perfect baskets
for people who like things to fall out of their baskets.
[ Laughter and applause ]
♪♪
Thank you, co-worker eating yogurt,
for making lunchtime in the office sound like
I'm sitting next to a clogged aquarium filter.
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Squeaking noises ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Duck noises ]
[ Squeaking noises ]
[ Blows raspberry ]
[ Screeching ]
[ Gunshot ]
[ Screeches ]
[ Blows raspberry ]
[ Laughter ]
-Finger knuckles. -What's that?
-You call them finger knuckles.
-Yeah. I like to call them that.
-Yeah.
♪♪
-Thank you, substitute teachers,
for being the fun aunts of teachers.
[ Light laughter ]
[ Scattered applause ]
[ Laughter ]
How you doing, man?
Do you have any plans for the weekend?
[ Laughter ]
-Kind of hang out. You know what I mean?
Live it up.
[ Laughter ]
-Go out for a drive or something.
-Yeah. Sure, I might go out for a drive.
You know, I never know. Something fun.
-You never know. You could take the wife out, and the kids.
-Yeah, take the wife out. The kids.
Maybe go out to dinner. Something like that.
I got a week. Go to work upstairs.
Have Sunday off. You know, it will be good.
It will be good. Super good.
-That's cool, man. Okay.
I'll talk to you about it later.
You doing anything this weekend, Tariq?
-Yeah, man, I think I'm gonna put on that --
-That sounds great, man.
[ Laughter ]
Fantastic.
-What are you doing?
What are you doing for the weekend?
-That's that? -You got plans?
-I was going to work on the show.
Research who's on next week. Can't wait.
Figure it out.
Probably watch this show over again.
-Really? -It's that good.
It's a hot crowd. -Hot crowd.
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Light laughter ]
-Thank you, wind, for not being called "Earth breath."
[ Laughter ]
Thank you, jar of jam in my fridge,
I have no idea how old you are, so I'm not going to use you,
but God as my witness, I will never throw you out.
[ Laughter and applause ]
We're in this together, dude.
I would never -- don't throw that away.
Thank you, butternut squash,
for looking like a pumpkin put on a pair of Spanx.
[ Laughter ]
Thank you, tracing your hand to draw a turkey,
for telling the world I have no idea how to draw
and I have no idea what a turkey looks like.
There you go, everybody. Those are my Thank You Notes.