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[Laughter]
having dabbled in more than a few
Community College art courses over the
years I've developed a keen eye for
katika ng fine ACT observe rapid pass a
beryllium today we will discuss some of
the most poignant works of fare not we
here at The Annoying Orange have
received the first work I'd like to
discuss is their masterful oil-on-canvas
entitled orange cut here the addison's
expertly captured orange at his most
vulnerable it's provocative it's
inspiring and I give it four and a half
grapefruits my only critique is that the
composition suffers from not enough
grapefruit were there a picture of me
down in the corner doing something
awesome like lifting weights or jumping
a motorcycle the piece could have been
elevated to unthinkable Heights next we
have orange yet there is but one word
for work of this caliber and that word
is Wow I mean talk about photo realism
even with my trained eye I was barely
able to distinguish this painstakingly
detailed watercolor from say a digital
photographs oranges head on a human body
a hunting image that begs the question
what is human existence truly I give
this work four and a half grapefruits
I would've expected the artist to put my
head on this man's body you know because
I'm the one who's always surrounded by
hot women but I applaud the artists
imagination here many works of I provide
questions but tree of annoyance is among
those precious to that truly provides
answers a piece for all of us who have
wondered what would a bunch of annoying
oranges in a tree look like what are
some of the expressions orange often
mates
what would orange look like with a
mustache here we have is as those
formidable questions and for that I give
this work four and a half grapefruits
one small critique from a compositional
standpoint I feel the vacant area down
center could have been filled with a
picture of me doing something really
cool like riding a jet ski over a
waterfall but that's next time
with an outstretched hand that begs
mankind to reconsider its very
trajectory orange bieber has made a
believer out of me
expertly skewering popular art cultures
with tactful ferocity the vibrant tones
juxtaposed against the flat background
was so inspired i was brought to tears
it should be noted that Justin Bieber's
most recent album also brought me to
tears furthermore I should mention that
this morning I saw a dog poop on the
sidewalk and it brought me to tears I
have a dog his appointment next week to
get my tear ducts checked out or they
have grapefruits for this metalworker
bite though I do wish that his sleeve
showed a little bit more of his bicep
but I've been told that bieber has a
tattoo of me on his left shoulder true
story
what is beauty a simple question to Bank
get an extraordinarily difficult
question to answer and yet this
remarkable work bravely tackles the
question head on without apology indeed
the woman's eyes follow you much like
the Mona Lisa's observe additionally if
you listen carefully enough
the paintings poignant ly exaggerated
lips can be heard whispering the very
meaning of life listen and there you
have it a work about unlike anything
we've ever seen before and unlike
anything we'll ever see again I give it
4.5 grapefruits my only criticism is
that a woman that beautiful should
probably be hanging out with me
grapefruit and so the painting does
suffer just a smidge from this distinct
lack of grapefruit life is fleeting
indeed and few works capture the quiet
desperation of our inevitable mortality
as mortalities like orange whose mouse
stanza gaben stunned silence I have no
words the model used in this painting a
French gerbil named Pierre had to sit
still for over 16 hours while this work
was created truly a monumental feat I
mean it's hard enough keeping a gerbil
still for 16 seconds years willpower has
paid off however as his profound
murderous cuteness is now forever
immortalized in this timeless work
mortalities earns four and a half
grapefruits if I were to offer one
suggestion to the artist it would be to
maybe use some of the other characters
from the show next time I feel like
orange gets to be in like all the fan ad
meanwhile there are other characters on
The Annoying
so who might I don't know be sitting at
home watching King of Queens reruns most
nights and would be super pumped a model
for a painting even if it means getting
eaten by a gerbil for 16 hours hunting
disturbing annoying these descriptors
among others come to mind whenever I
lose myself in the masterful
oil-on-canvas
sleep creep just as classical elements
creep into the piece so too does the
searing image of oranges pronounced
Hulett creep into my mind at night when
I'm at my most vulnerable perhaps in a
way orange haunts all of our dreams and
perhaps in a much more literal way this
painting cause me to poop my pants and
Dera the first time I laid eyes upon it
sleep creep strikes its intended card
with triumphant resonance so I have
assigned it four and a half grapefruits
and we could take of this painting is
that it does not include more great date
the aptly named hay says many things not
least of all that it is a copyrighted
property of one Reilly jr. what truly
grabs me here is the terse monosyllabic
message Hey
simply astounding work the lone strike
against this pieces that it was not more
blatantly a picture of me obviously the
yellowish background is our own eyes -
my yellowish skin but I don't feel a
piece could have ascended to an entirely
different plane and it not tiptoed
around the fact that I grapefruit and
actually the focal point of this piece
this mesmerizing piece entitled orange
boss blurs the line between virtual and
reality question flood my mind as I gaze
upon this formidable work is life merely
a game the battles we face are they true
barriers or are they mere annoyances and
perhaps most importantly the fans The
Annoying Orange realize there are other
characters on the show really cool
characters with fragile egos who might
like to be represented in fair not from
time to time
at four and a half grapefruits because
I'm trying to come off as unaffected
here but if we're being honest the fact
that I was omitted from the supercool
piece of art cuts to the core of me more
than a knife ever could another piece of
fan art featuring orange how unexpected
yeah his face entitled armed orange is I
don't know I looked at how awesome
orange would be if he had arms in
addition to being the most loved
character on the show I mean we get it
orange is cool fans love orange orange
orange orange why don't we all just give
orange a big round of applause oh wait
he could do that himself cuz apparently
he has arms now sorry about that
personal feelings aside this piece is
very well done and earns four and a half
grapefruits also I'd be remiss if I
didn't mention how spectacular oranges
pecs look in this charming finally we
have this question named piece entitled
the gang's all here and we see orange
with all his friends supporting
exaggerated smiles presumably because
the entire gang is there certainly no
fit friend of theirs could possibly have
been included in this composition say in
the vacant area in the middle of the
canvas nay the gang's all here and there
is literally nothing and no one missing
from it and for that I give it four and
a half thank you areas in the middle of
the canvas because grapefruit apparently
doesn't exist in the fade-out universe
okay that was weird
I'm good now I'm calm sadly I'm more
concerned that there might be a portal
in here or maybe the laws of physics
have changed or okay anyway if you like
to see your artwork on a future episode
of grapefruit art critics and good
submissions to real grapefruit at
gmail.com til next time
I'm great
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