.
presents
I Have Been Keeping a Secret My Whole Life
I would like to say something which
I have been
keeping a secret
my whole life:
One
beautiful morning,
Gautam Buddha
had gone for a
walk
with his
caretaker,
disciple,
Ananda.
It was fall time;
the trees were getting almost naked
and all the leaves were on the
path.
And the wind
was fluttering the trees,
and the leaves
were making beautiful sounds.
Walking on those leaves,
Buddha was
immensely
happy…
the music
of the dry leaves.
He took a few leaves in his hand.
Ananda asked him,
"I have been
always
thinking to ask one thing,
but
privacy is so difficult.
You are always surrounded by people.
Today you are alone in this forest,
and I cannot resist the temptation. I want to ask you:
Have you said everything to us,
or have you kept some secrets?"
Buddha said,
“Do you see the leaves in my hand?
And do you see the leaves all over the forest?”
Ananda said, “Yes, I do see,
but I don’t understand that that is the answer.”
Buddha said,
“You will understand.
I have said only this much,
and I have kept secret
all these leaves
that are in the whole forest.”
My situation is just different.
I have said the whole forest;
only one thing I have kept secret,
just one leaf.
Buddha declared before his death
that he would be coming again after twenty-five centuries,
and that his name would be Maitreya.
Maitreya means the friend.
Buddhas don’t come back;
no enlightened person ever comes back,
so it is just a way of saying…
What he was saying is of tremendous importance.
It has nothing to do with his coming back;
he cannot come back.
What he meant was
that the ancient relationship
between the master and the disciple
would become irrelevant
in twenty-five centuries.
It was his clarity of perception
he was not predicting anything
just his clarity
to see that as things are changing,
as they have changed in the past
and as they go on changing,
it would take at least twenty-five centuries
for the master and disciple relationship
to become out of date.
Then the enlightened
master will be only
the friend.
I had always wanted
not to be a master to anybody.
But people
want a master,
they want to be disciples;
hence, I played the role.
It is time
that I should say to you that now many of you are ready
to accept me
as the friend.
Those who are in tune with me
continuously, without any break,
are the only real friends.
There are people who are sometimes in tune with me
and sometimes not in tune with me.
You are asking
why it happens.
The reason is
perhaps you may be surprised to know
sometimes they are in tune with me because I am in tune with them,
because whatever I am saying
is in accordance with them.
They feel,
“This is perfectly right.”
They are not in tune with me.
On the contrary,
because I am fulfilling
some of their ideas,
some of their expectations.
they feel they are in tune with me
That is illusion.
Once you are really in tune with me, you cannot fall out of it.
But if somebody falls out of it,
that simply means
that I have said something, I have done something,
which is not
in accordance with you.
You remain the judge.
You have not dropped judgment.
Your ego is still there.
I used to go for a walk every day
with one of my
professors.
One day when we were coming back,
another professor
met us on the way.
He was going
for a walk; we were returning.
He knew me
but he did not know
my professor.
My professor was very new,
he had just joined the department two, three days before.
So he asked me,
"Do you come here every day?"
I said, "Yes, I come
every day.
And for three days
my professor has also been coming with me."
My professor
looked annoyed.
I asked him, "What is the matter?
You look angry."
He said, "Certainly.
You come with me,
and you said that I come with you."
I said, "That's really right.
How can a professor
come with a student?
It is always the student who comes with the professor.
So forgive me.
But this simply shows that you are an idiot;
and from tomorrow you are not going to come with me."
People are strange.
I had been there for two years.
He had been there only for three days,
but he wanted to
hear
that I was coming with him.
Just the ego
wants fulfillment everywhere.
So it happens that when you feel
that I am saying something
which fulfills your expectations,
you are with me,
your heart is beating with me,
you are in tune with me.
No.
Please
forgive me
for being straightforward –
only I am with you.
Soon something happens –
I say something, I do something –
and your heart is no longer beating with me.
So remember one thing:
when you are with me,
then it is
a continuum, without any gap.
What I say, what I do, does not matter,
because you
are not a judge.
You love me the way I am.
I don't judge you.
I love you the way you are.
And if it changes,
then remember
it is a judgment,
and rather than going with me, you are
trying to drag me with you.
And that is not very loving.
I can come with you,
but you are in darkness and you will lead me in darkness.
I have no trouble in coming with you.
You cannot destroy my light;
I can destroy your darkness.
I cannot lose anything by coming with you.
You will have to lose many things
by coming with me.
And
when you love someone, you are ready to lose
anything,
everything,
even yourself.
The moment you are ready to lose yourself,
the friendship
is complete.
And then there is great beauty.
It is exactly twenty-five centuries
after Buddha's death
and you have to
rise up
so that
what
I want [my] movement to become,
it becomes –
the dream is realized.
Don't let me down.
Okay?
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