-Congratulations.
You won an Emmy since I saw you last for your special on Netflix
"Kid Gorgeous at Radio City."
-Yeah, thank you. [ Cheers and applause ]
-Not bad. Come on. -That's great.
-How exciting is that?
-It was so exciting.
-That's a big deal.
-It was such a -- It was so genuinely exciting.
-It was a great special. So funny.
-Thank you. I'm glad you liked it.
-And, you know, they're looking for a host of the Oscars.
And there's a -- there's a -- there's a list.
I saw your name on the list.
[ Applause ]
Yeah, and I go -- -Who made the list?
-No, it's very legit.
-My mom and -- [ Laughter ]
-Very legit online -- whatever you call those things.
-An online list? -An online list.
And it's on an online list.
-Oh, my gosh. That's crazy.
-No, yeah. Would you ever consider hosting the --
-I mean, yeah, but, like, you know.
You got to think about the ratings.
[ Laughter ]
I'd be genuinely concerned, like -- I'd walk out there.
And you cut to, like, Angelina Jolie.
She's like checking the playbill to be like, "Who is this guy?"
[ Laughter ]
-I'm not sure they have a playbill.
-They don't have a playbill? -No, not at the Oscars.
-Oh, they should have a playbill.
They can have little ads for other shows and things.
[ Laughter ]
-I want to quickly mention.
You're doing this event with Jerry Seinfeld tonight.
-Yes. -What is it again?
-It's a benefit, also with Mr. Steve Higgins, for the
David Lynch Transcendental Meditation Foundation,
where they teach -- yeah.
-Yeah, yeah, sure. [ Applause ]
-They do a lot of great work doing, you know, free lessons,
teaching meditation at schools and all around the world.
-How long have you known --
Are you friends with Jerry Seinfeld or no?
-Oh, I got to meet him for the first time
at that "SNL" 40th anniversary thing.
-Oh, yeah. -Because I came in.
And I wrote a bit that he got to do
where he took questions from the audience.
-They asked you to write a bit? -They asked me to write a bit.
And I said, "Who is doing the bit?"
And they said, "Seinfeld." I've never met him before.
And so I e-mailed him, and I said, you know,
"Here's my first draft. Please be gentle.
You're a very big deal to me."
And he wrote back, "I'm sure it's fine.
This is gonna be really fun...for you."
[ Laughter ]
And we had a great time doing that "SNL" 40th Q&A.
And I got to do
his "Comedians In Cars Drinking Coffee" show.
So, yeah, I love Jerry Seinfeld very much.
I looked up to him forever.
-He's one of the nicest guys you'll ever want to meet.
And gosh, is he funny.
-It's very cool to get to actually
hang around with him sometimes.
-He's brilliant, yeah. -Yeah.
-I mean, have you done other things that haven't been filmed?
-Yes, I actually --
I wanted to see Bob Dylan at the Beacon.
-Oh. -And I got some tickets.
And I just -- I was gonna go with Pete Davidson.
And we had an extra ticket.
And I asked Jerry Seinfeld, "Do you want to see Bob Dylan?"
Just threw it out there.
And he was like, "Yeah, what time?"
And it was great.
So me, Jerry, and Pete Davidson went.
-No way. -Yeah.
-I'm sorry. Does Pete Davidson have any idea who Bob Dylan is?
-Yes, he does. [ Laughter ]
-Okay.
-However, he said, "I do not know one of these songs."
-Yeah.
-And during "Like A Rolling Stone," I turned to him
and I said, "This is a very famous song."
And he said, "Okay." [ Laughter ]
-But then you also took Pete Davidson --
-Oh, yes.
I've been going on a series of concerts with Pete Davidson.
-I want to do this next time.
-I love him very much. And he's a wonderful friend.
-Pete, he's a nice guy.
-He's just great to go out with.
And so I go see Steely Dan, hold for applause, every year.
[ Laughter ]
And so they're at the Beacon Theatre in New York.
Steely Dan, all right, Steely Dan.
Look it up. Steely Dan.
-I know who Steely Dan is. Yeah, sure.
-Yeah, yeah, don't be so sure about it.
-People at home are -- -Yeah, so I go every year.
My roommate, my old roommate -- 'cause I'm married now.
[ Laughter ]
-You call your wife your old roommate?
-Yes. -Oh, my gosh.
[ Laughter ]
That's the worst nickname for your wife ever.
"My old roommate."
-That's worse than Mike Pence calling his wife "mother," yeah.
[ Laughter ]
Oh, old roommate.
-Oh, old roommate. There you are again.
-But my former roommate from college, Kevin and I,
we go to see Steely Dan every year.
We loved Steely Dan since we were in college.
And when I met my now wife,
I played her some of my favorite music, which was Steely Dan.
And she said, "What is this? I hate this."
[ Laughter ]
And I said, "Well, then listen to this song."
And she said, "Oh, that's interesting.
I hate this song very much too." [ Laughter ]
So, over the years, you know, Sirius satellite radio,
channel 32, The Bridge, Steely Dan comes on.
My wife always changes it.
-Yeah. -Hates Steely Dan.
I get tickets to Steely Dan.
Kevin and I are gonna go.
We've gone 12 years in a row.
I call Pete Davidson.
I say, "You want to see Steely Dan?"
He goes, "Yes." End of call.
[ Laughter ]
Then my wife has been working really hard.
She's in graduate school.
She's been, like, working at home day and night.
And she said, "Are you going out tonight?
Because I just want to get out of the house and do something."
And I said, "I have good news and bad news."
[ Laughter ]
"Yes, I can take you somewhere. But it is to Steely Dan."
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
-And she thought a moment. And she said, "Okay."
So me and my best friend, Kevin, and a woman
who has hated Steely Dan for a decade go to the Beacon Theatre.
And we run into Pete Davidson there.
Meet him in front and Pete Davidson says,
"Who is Steely Dan?" [ Laughter ]
And I said, "It's a band."
And he said, "It's not a comedian?"
[ Laughter ]
-Oh, my gosh.
He thought Steely Dan was a prop comic?
-Well, yeah, sounds like it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Steely Dan. -Steven Steely Dan. Yeah.
So I said, "Pete, you don't know anything about them?"
And he said, "No."
And I said, "do you know anything about pop jazz fusion?"
[ Laughter ]
And he said, "No."
And I said, "Pete, there is no way I can prepare you
for what's about to happen." -Yeah.
-And my wife took Pete by the shoulders and said,
"Pete, it's gonna be awful."
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
-And we walked in.
The entire audience is not young.
[ Laughter ]
There's a lot of VIPs, though, various irate people.
And they're sitting.
And you don't stand up at a Steely Dan show.
-No. -No.
So people, like, you know, they have their purse in their lap.
And they just kind of dance in their chair like this.
And this has been the protocol for decades at the Beacon.
-Yeah. You do not stand there.
-No. One woman stood up during the song "Josie."
We hold for applause. [ Laughter ]
Everyone went, "Sit down! Sit down!"
So she sits down. -Yeah.
-And then Pete Davidson says, "I can't take this."
And he turns to the row behind him.
He goes, "If I stand, will you stand?"
And they go, "We'll stand."
And then Pete goes, "All right."
So he stands, so the row behind us stands,
so the row behind them stands.
Then he goes, "Come on!"
And then by the time they were playing "My Old School,"
the entire Beacon is on its feet.
And Anna's dancing, my wife, a woman --
so two guys who love Steely Dan,
a guy that didn't know what Steely Dan was,
and a woman who hates Steely Dan got the Beacon on their feet.
It was a Christmas miracle.
-That's what I'm talking about. Everybody, get up!
Stand up! Come on! Get up for Steely Dan!
-For Steely Dan. -For Steely Dan!
-For Steely Dan. -John Mulaney, everybody.