(Swishy Swishy Fist Fist)
(spooky music)
(thunder and lightning)
(zombie groaning)
Eat lead!
Hm.
Aah!
(scared whimpering)
(awkward silence)
Um… Line? Kate: Cuuut!
(bell ringing)
Ugh. For the last time, Charles. It’s BRAINS. Brians?
Wh- NO! Dammit, Charles! I’ll NEVER win the Spooktacular Film Fest
working with such AMATEURS! Look, boy. Before I died I was a classically
trained actor. I even did Shakespeare! Haha, yeah he did!
Ben, was resurrecting the dead REALLY easier than… I dunno… Hiring LIVING actors?
Hey, they’re free, they’re already in costume, and they can’t die!
Random Guy: No Zombie Shakespeare, don’t juggle those chainsaws!
Zombie Shakespeare: SILENCE, YOU HUGGING FLAPDRAGON- OH SHIT!
(chainsawing / screaming / gory splattering)
They died.
Lucy: Well, looks like you’re fresh outta talking corpses!
I’m gonna go home… And cry… A lot… You huggin’ traitor! Who needs actors anyway?
Um… You? Oh yeah! Kate… Resurrect us a NEW cast.
Um… We’ve already resurrected everyone in this graveyard…
What?! Even Grandpa Joey? I… Don’t think Grandpa Joey’s dead yet…
(Sigh) Any minute now… Ugh! I need more dead people!
No no no- AAAAH! Charles: Hey! Look what I found!
(Gasp) More dead people! (Gargle)
So pure… So beautiful… Do it! Yes, child!
(thunder and lightning)
(demonic chanting)
(zombies groaning and laughing evil-y)
Um... I don't want to be a bother but... Could THIS be a problem?
(dramatic music sting)
Ben: ... WHAT? Charles: Oh, sorry. It says pris-
CRIME ZOMBIES! Charles: HELP MEH!
Hey! You guys seen my DICK?
(dramatic music sting)
I can't find my diiick!
(glass smashes in the distance)
(explosions / alarms / general chaos)
Look! Armed robbery!
Arm robbery!
And ROB ARMOURY! Hello! I'm Rob Armoury!
What do you do? Oh, I stab people... AND NOW I'M GONNA STAB
YOOOU! OH NO!!!
(Gasp) My stabbing arms! NOO- -ooooo...
Kate! There's only one thing that can stop this!
I reverse the spell?
... No.
(thunder and lightning)
Cop zombies!
(police siren)
This is a good idea.
Cop Zombies: Oi oi oi oi oi oi...
(skin tearing)
Oh, nothin' to see here! Just a human. Doobeedoobedoo...
You'll never take me alive!
(scissors snipping)
Noooo!
You know, Benjamin... Crime is not the result of an inherent evil
within all men. Rather, it is the outcome of poverty, desperation, and a lack of opportunities
to improve one's situation. (Sigh) There's only one thing to do...
Does it involve more zombies? Yes.
Zombie teachers!
Zombie employers!
Zombie politicians!
Hahaha... AHAHAHAHA-
(peaceful music)
I'm sorry I stabbed you! I'm sorry I stabbed YOU!
Aw, group hug! (stabbing) Ow!
(peaceful music)
So pure... So beautiful...
Do it.
(Doorbell)
GAAAAH!!! ZOMBIES!!!
(gunfire / explosions / angry music)
Yes... YES... YEEEEEE-
(distant chaos)
Hello? Yes, I'd like a therapist please.
Yes, ALL OF THEM.
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