- Hey, what's up.
It's me, Jessica J.
And I was just wondering if you've ever sat
and thought to yourself,
"Hey Jessica, why do women leave good men?"
Well, if so, I'm glad you asked
because it does sound counterintuitive
and it probably does make you think
that women only want bad boys and douche bags
'cause they believe in all these good, great guys.
So to make sure you never miss out on another opportunity
to find out why we women do all these things
that seem quite counter to what we say we want.
Or another one of my videos, don't forget to hit
the subscribe button with the notification valve.
Okay, so this is coming off the heels of a friend
of mine talking to me about how his girlfriends
of about seven years, left him, for some scam bag
she was working with, who just made her feel alive.
And I'll tell you right now, I knows so many women
who are not fucking their husbands right now.
Women who have cheated on their husbands
for some sketchy ass motherfuckers.
And women are so much more inclined
to partake in emotional affairs versus just like one
and done type shit.
So why is that?
Why is it that we, women can really want a good man
and then leave a good man for a scumbag of a man?
First, let's talk about what a good man is.
Good.
A lot of guys think that taking care of themselves,
being goal oriented, go-getters, ambitious,
make a lot of money, give your woman what she wants,
give her a happy home, give her some sperm
for them eggs.
Y'all are just like, "Okay let me achieve this thing."
Now unfortunately in that task driven mindset,
in that goal oriented mindset, we tend to obtain this thing
this prize, this gift and then put it on the shelf.
And then go obtain something else.
A lot of guys stop dating their woman
when she becomes their woman.
But I'm telling you right now that's only the beginning.
Too many men look at their women like they've achieved
something and now they can put all their time,
energy and effort into achieving something else.
That's why they have the term trophy wives.
You've won, this thing, that people can see you won.
Make sure a trophy, feels loved and appreciated
and sexy and wanted.
We still have emotions.
We are human beings.
I'll tell you right now my ex, we used to break up
and make up all the time.
And he was the most passionate about having me,
when he was pursuing me back.
But once he got me back, sure enough, it'd only be a month
or two later where I'm starting to feel ignored, neglected
because he was so much of a go-getter
that every time he got me, okay, one and done,
onto the next thing.
One of my favorite movies is, "True Lies"
with Jamie Lee Curtis and Arnold Schwarzenegger.
And Arnold Schwarzenegger is like fine ass,
badass CIA agent, who, you know, takes care
of his family, financially.
He's there for dinner every night.
But he is so emotionally absent.
He has so many lies, so many things
that he keeps to himself.
He's not opening up.
He's not being vulnerable.
He's not sitting with his wife and looking to her eyes
and asking her, how her day was and what he could do better.
Granted, she tries, you know, she's baking him
a birthday cake.
She's you know, trying to make his favorite meals.
She's trying.
But when he finds out his wife is cheating on him
with a used car salesman.
I really hope I'm not giving anything away.
His partner says, "What do you expect?
"She's a flesh and blood woman.
"And you're just not there."
Too many good guys think that just by being there
that should be enough.
It's not enough.
I'm telling you right now, it's not fucking enough.
If you sign on to have a woman as your partner
that doesn't mean, now you can just go off
while she takes care of all this other shit
for you back at home.
It's kinda like say you were like a detective,
a lone detective.
And you're like investigating all these murders by yourself,
your so like,
(throat growling)
you're so stressed out, you got all this paperwork,
you got all this like blood and semen and shit.
And then you're like, "Hey chief, I really need a partner."
So your chief says, "Okay, fine.
"Let's get you a fucking partner.
"I got you the best fucking partner.
"This partner's gonna help.
"And together y'all are gonna solve this crime of life."
That doesn't mean now that you have a partner
you just go off and do your own thing
while your partner takes care of all the shit
you don't wanna take care of.
No, it means you work together.
It means you help each other.
You're on each other's team.
You support one another.
You're there for each other and compliment each other.
Too many of these good guys also think that not fighting
or not arguing means things are great.
That literally just means there's no fucking emotion at all.
At least when fighting and arguing is happening,
it means one or both of you cares enough.
You might even be with a woman who picks fights
on the fucking regular.
Probably because you are so emotionally
and mentally checked out from that relationship.
And I'm telling you right now, you might sit there
and think, "I give her everything.
"I'm there for her.
"She wants for nothing."
And she's still not happy.
Chances are, you're not emotionally there in the way
she needs you to be.
And for all my girlfriends who have gotten divorced
this is basically the reason why they left their husbands.
These really good guys who are hard workers
and could not understand why she was unhappy
when he got her a house and all these nice things
and worked so hard, but was never around.
If we're not feeling anything from you we become susceptible
to feeling something for another guy who's over here
paying attention to us, unfortunately.
Now I'm not saying your woman is gonna leave you
for another man.
But even watching a simple Netflix show
and seeing how men are.
That's enough for me, a woman to be like,
"Oh my God he's not emotionally attentive."
And women these days, they have, you know,
this perception of having way more options than we used to.
And we technically do.
Back in the day, in my grandparents' day,
in my parents' day, you didn't just have all these options.
You had the people you saw in fucking front of you, if that.
Now with the internet, women could,
"Oh my God, look at this guy on this show.
"He's so good to her, I could have that too."
Or even, "Oh my God, look at this couple on Instagram
"he's so happy when she comes home,
"he rubs her feet and shit.
"I could have that too."
I'm telling you right now, it's not enough just to be
a provider, because women can pretty much provide
for themselves these days.
So, be there, be emotional, be vulnerable, be attentive,
be a partner to your partner.
It is as simple as creating these connections,
making each other laugh, flirting with this chick.
Even if you've been with her for 20 years,
you probably haven't flirted with her for 10 of those.
I go over exactly how to do this,
how to keep your woman happy and keep yourself happy.
You deserve to be made, laugh.
You deserve to be attended to, emotionally.
You deserve to be flirted with as well.
And I'm telling you, we women, we will always follow
your lead.
I don't care how progress we are as a society,
for some reason, in heterosexual relationships
or even in you know, anybody trying to seduce a woman
or wanting to be with a woman, we women, will always follow
your lead.
I don't know why, it's just the name of the game.
So lead her there.
If you don't wanna lose her, if you're tired
of losing these women, you're just tired of having
the same sob story about, "Who poor me,
"all these women leave me, but I'm a good guy."
Really hold yourself accountable to whether or not
you're utilizing the override effect.
Check that over right here, which talks about how to create
that emotional connection, that emotional intensity,
to keep her wanting you to keep her chasing you
and having only eyes for you and no one else.
So check it out now, while you still can
you don't have to lose out on any more women
or, you know, maybe you realize you deserve different women.
That could be the case too.
Either way, check out that video.
Thanks for watching this one,
and I'll see you guys next time.
(upbeat music)