10 Eye Contact Mistakes To ALWAYS Avoid [0:00:00]
Antonio: Ten eye contact mistakes that most people make and how to fix it.
Guys, are you ready?
Let’s get into it.
[Music] Eye contact mistake number one is not knowing the rules of the culture that
you find yourself in.
And understand, there is no global set of rules for eye contact, it depends on the country
and the culture that you find yourself in.
There are different rules over there and you need to try to pick up on this very quickly.
Why?
Because if you’re an Indian student in the United States and if you never look at the
professor, understand that this can be viewed as weak and you’re not paying attention.
So, you need to be aware you need to do some study you need to do some planning to whatever
country in that culture you’re going to and be aware of that.
Mistake number two.
Not enough eye contact.
Mistake number three.
Too much eye contact.
Mistake number four.
Not maintaining eye contact long enough.
Okay.
So, the rule here is 50/70.
When you’re speaking, 50% of the time, you want to be maintaining eye contact.
When you’re listening to someone, 70% of the time, you want to be maintaining eye contact,
and when you’re engaging with someone and you’re looking at them, about three second
to maybe at the most five seconds.
And understand that these are base rules that apply to North America specifically the United
States.
Over in Europe, it’s going to be pretty similar, over in South America, probably similar
as well.
But, Africa, Asia, understand that that very different rules over there especially when
it comes to engaging with superiors to engaging with people that you don’t know very well.
Eye contact mistake number five.
Reading too much in the eye contact.
So, understand that eye contact is just one of many ways that we actually communicate.
There’s also obviously what we say, our body language many other parts that go into
this type of communication, but don’t jump to conclusions when you see somebody staring
at you.
There’s a number of different things that you’ve got pick up on when it comes to body
language, but understand that eye contact is just a start it’s just a part of the
whole communication game.
Eye contact mistake number six.
Looking away too quickly.
So, you’re walking down the hall, there’s someone you recognize from work you don’t
know their name, they’re coming towards you, you make eye contact and you immediately
divert your eyes.
Or it’s that attractive woman that you wanted to speak with and you diver your eyes really
quick, they’re in the hall.
Come on.
Guys, you can improve this because that signal is sending right there that you are not confident.
Have the confidence to be able to greet another human being.
If you’re in a big city, yes, you don’t have to do this, that’s – that would just
be odd and you would never get anywhere.
But, understand that you can have the confidence when you’re just walking down and you’re
in a small town, look at someone in the eye and greet them.
It is good manners, there’s nothing wrong with that.
Eye contact mistake number seven is not making immediate eye contact when you go and you
start talking with someone.
So, this doesn’t happen often when it’s a one-on-one and it’s a lot easier to fix
it there, but this often happens when you’re in a group of people.
Maybe you haven’t been introduced, the other people they don’t know that you don’t
know these other people.
So, you want to get introduced, you’re not really in the conversation fully, you’re
kind of on the outskirts of it, but make sure to make eye contact.
Now, these next two eye contact mistakes I talked about earlier, but that’s speaking
with your eyes and listening with your eyes.
Now, I talked about the 50/70 rule.
So, when you’re speaking 50% of the time, you’re making eye contact.
When you’re listening 70% of the time you’re making eye contact, but what happens when
you’re in a group?
All of a sudden you’ve got two people you’re speaking with, five people you’re speaking
with, twenty five, five hundred people you’re speaking with.
Obviously, you can’t speak and look at them 50% of the time, way too many eyes and the
percentages don’t add up.
Same thing when you’re listening.
Maybe you’ve got one person, you’ve got two people, four to five people in this conversation,
how do you break it up?
So, what you’re going to do here is you’re going to move around.
So, if you’re speaking to a group of twenty five people, you want to identify and break
the room up into sections and to move around and don’t be afraid to look at individuals.
And, they can feel it, they can actually – they notice when you look at them and they’re
going to be much more attentive.
Now, this eye contact mistake, guys, you don’t want to make and that’s not looking at somebody
in the eyes whenever you’re trying to make eye contact.
So, a lot of people especially when you get up close, okay, which eye do I look at, do
I look at both?
Just simply choose an eye if you’re getting that nervous and the trick I play is I’m
trying to figure out what is their eye color.
So, it’s Amy, I’m talking with Amy here and she’s got blue eyes.
Matt here, he’s got brown eyes.
And I kind of remember that helps me also better remember their name.
Now, when you’re speaking with Amy, do not get fixated on her chest.
Yes, you’re a man and she actually is wearing something that is drawing attention to that
part of her body, but guys, focus in on the eyes.
You know it’s something I know it’s very difficult at times, but focus in on the eyes.
[0:04:56] You need to practice, you need to get better because if you can master eye contact,
you can master body language, you can master your speaking skills, all of a sudden you’ve
got some ama – you’ve got amazing skill-sets to better let the world know what you stand
for.
You can start to convey the message send the message control the image and you can start
to become the man you know yourself to be.
All right, guys, so bonus mistake and this one is big is that you cannot sit back and
just passively absorb this information and expect change to happen.
No, you’ve got to practice, you’ve got to do the work, you’ve got to take action
to get better you can become the man you know yourself to be.
That’s what my channel is about is helping you use style, these business skills for you
to be able to get better small bit by small bit every single day and that’s what I want
to see, guys, is you become the man you know yourself to be.
I appreciate you, guys.
I appreciate everything we build here at Real Men Real Style.
Let me know in the comments what you thought of this video, what I miss.
I want to hear what country are you from.
What, you know, culture norm is over there when it comes to eye contact?
What are the percentages?
What do you see?
How do you speak to your professor?
How as a teacher do you actually talk and make eye contact with your students?
How do you make eye contact with your peers?
Let me hear from you, guys, and what are the cultural norms putting in the comments down
below.
And if you like this video, give it a thumbs up, share it with someone that would find
it useful.
Guys, take care.
I will see you in the next video.
[Music] Steve: When I first came down here, I didn’t
really have a reason why, I just knew like I needed to go and check it out for myself
and see what it was about, so I did.
And it – what I took out of it was I built a lot of friendships, new relationships, and
going back home I took the messages that I got here and it kind of just transformed my
life a little bit.
Derek: I love the presentations, but what I think the best part is actually the networking,
you get to meet your favorite celebrity stars, sit down talk to them learn the game from
the professionals.
[Music] Antonio: A lot of people say I don’t blink
much whenever they watch the videos, but I think they edit out my blinking.
And I blink I think quite a bit, not as much as a lot of people, but I think I blink on
average number of times.
Maybe I’ll create a video on how to blink like a man.
What do you guys think?
Let me know on the comments.
Take care, guys.
See you on the next video.
[0:07:39] End of Audio