We all struggle with negativity.
But it doesn't take much for a person to fall into toxic behavior that ends up blocking
improvement.
One of the toughest things can be identifying the signs that you have become the toxic person
in your life.
But once you take ownership, you can turn things around.
"I'm addicted to you / Don't you know that you're toxic?"
The blame game
Very rarely is something just one person's fault.
While you might have a unique kind of conflict with someone, it's a red flag if you start
to feel like everyone in your life is out to get you.
Let's say you're surrounded by people who are making your life miserable.
A toxic person will stay in that situation and happily accept the role of victim.
But a healthy-minded individual will make every effort to change things, so they can
find peace and happiness.
So, think about everything that's going wrong in your life.
Write it all down and come up with a plan for making things right.
You'll feel empowered, and, best of all, no more blaming or complaining!
Gossip gal
Let's be real.
Everyone knows it: gossip is a part of life.
"I heard that they secretly date / But nobody likes them so they’re taking a break
My guess is you probably know / But changes boys like she changes her clothes"
But rather than become the hub for all the juicy tidbits circulating throughout the office
or in your friend group, walk away from conversations that could hurt someone else.
You don't wanna be associated with that kind of negativity.
If you need to vent following an argument, it's one thing to have a confidante that you
can trust.
It's another if you find yourself engaging in "trash talk" about someone else.
Get honest with yourself about things you've said to hurt people.
Apologize, if needed, and commit to being more respectful in the future.
All about me
There's nothing wrong with relying on your support system when you're struggling.
But it's a problem if you have a never-ending string of requests, and never return the favor.
Do you find yourself hiding when you know people are asking for help?
Do you make excuses for why you can't lend a hand or offer assistance?
If so, it won't be long before people stop wanting to help you.
"You are constantly talking about yourself!
You are the most self-obsessed person I have ever met!”
"You should see Kendall Jenner's Instagram feed.”
Think of someone in your life who's been having a hard time, and offer a few ways in which
you can help.
Start small...anything is better than nothing!
"Enough about me / Let's talk about you"
Flaky friends
If your birthday rolls around and no one wants to celebrate, you might have to acknowledge
the fact that your friends have jumped ship.
But if you really want to know why, reflect on your recent behavior.
Have you been negative, demanding, or overly dramatic?
More than likely, you've pushed people away without even realizing it.
Be brutally honest with yourself about why your friends have bailed.
Reach out to them, allow them to express any frustration about your behavior, and then
decide whether the friendship is worth saving.
If it is, apologize, and commit to making changes.
Drama queen
You might be hooked on the attention you get when your life is in tatters, but your loved
ones will grow tired of listening to your drama.
If you're not looking for solutions to your problems, you've probably allowed toxicity
to enter into your life.
"It's good, good, good, good, good, and then there’s that thing in my head where it’s
like ‘Time to sabotage.”
Identify any negative patterns that keep your life crazy.
If you're feeling ignored and neglected by loved ones, communicate how you're feeling
and then find new, productive ways to keep in touch.
The grudge
If you're refusing to cut ties with people who hurt you, or if you're determined to hold
a grudge, it's difficult for those around you to be supportive.
Things will never improve as long as you stay in a toxic situation or mindset.
If you aren't willing to take the necessary steps to better your own life, why should
you expect anyone to stick around and listen to you complain?
Accept someone's apology and work hard on forgiveness.
Throw away mementos from a failed relationship.
Find a new hobby where you can make new friends.
Moving on takes effort, but one day you'll look back and be able to see how far you've
come.
Know it all
Wouldn't it be great if we could be both right and happy all the time?
Sure!
Is that possible or realistic?
Absolutely not.
If you find yourself irritated because you made a mistake at work, or you were proven
wrong by your significant other, you might need to ask yourself if these types of arguments
are really worth it.
Learn to be content with allowing others to find their own answers, especially if it means
keeping the peace.
Debbie downer
When you find yourself focusing only on what could go wrong in a situation, you're valuing
negativity over all of the positives that exist around you.
After a while, this type of behavior will attract other toxic, negative people and you
may find yourself struggling to feel good about anything.
Surround yourself with positive people and focus on being less pessimistic.
Create a gratitude journal, and before bed each night, list five things that happened
during your day for which you are thankful!
Chatterbox
Are you regularly hogging the spotlight and cutting people off?
Dominating the conversation is not only inconsiderate and selfish, it sends the message that you
aren't interested in anyone else's life but your own.
"Am I talking too much?
People are always telling me that I do, and it seems to cause no end of aggravation.
Would you rather I didn’t talk?
If you say so, I'll stop.”
Make an effort to keep the conversation balanced so that you — and your friends — walk
away feeling valued, and heard.
Chin up
It's no fun realizing you're responsible for the negativity in your life.
But the good news is that the sooner you take ownership of your role in your unhappiness,
the sooner you can kick toxic behaviors to the curb.
Commit to making healthy changes.
And even when times are tough, you'll be able to find that silver lining.
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