(dramatic music)
♪ And life is just a chain ♪
♪ Of moments spent ♪
♪ A thousand hellos and goodbyes ♪
- [Thanos] So and so.
Are you talking to me?
If I can get my hands on five more
Titan Hero FX toys,
I can destroy half of humanity.
♪ Until the world is you ♪
- [Man] Web shooters engaged.
Deploying wet wings.
- Ah!
- Spider-Man.
I need your toy.
- Who are you?
- I am Thanos.
And I need to collect all six of the Titan Hero toys.
- Well, you're not having this one.
(Thanos laughs evilly)
- You obviously don't know who I am.
I am Thanos.
And if I say I want that Titan Hero toy,
then that's what I'm going to get.
(grunts)
(laughs evilly)
- [Man] Hello, we are not available now.
Please leave your name and phone number after the beep.
We will return your call.
(beep)
(whooshing)
(mysterious Midwestern music)
- Give me the Falcon Titan Hero toy.
- I don't think so, you overgrown blueberry.
- Listen, Falcon,
the end of humanity is almost here.
Just give me the Falcon figure.
- No way!
(whooshes)
(Thanos grunts)
- [Boy] Hey!
Take on someone your own size, Thanos!
- But I'm bigger than you.
- Bigger, hypothetically speaking.
- What does hypothetically mean?
- It means I'm Captain America.
And I'm going to take back those toys.
- No, you're not.
But I'm going to take yours!
(thud)
Ow!
- Ha ha ha!
- That really hurt!
I mean, really, really hurt.
What on earth is that shield made of?
- Vibranium and steel alloy.
It's really good, isn't it?
- Very strong stuff.
Can I have a look?
I love the slick design and the colouring.
- Thank you.
- It's supposed to be iconic.
- Hey, guys, I'm sorry to interrupt,
but you're supposed to be taking the Captain America toy,
and you're supposed to be saving me.
(Thanos yells)
Captain, he's so strong.
- He looks like he had steroids
but put them all in the wrong places.
(phone chimes)
- Hello?
- Hey, Tony, guess who this is.
- I don't know, Loki?
- Guess again.
- This is a short parody movie.
We don't have time for this, just tell me.
- It's Captain America!
- No way.
I thought you weren't talking to me
after the whole Team Iron Man thing.
- I wasn't but it's a serious situation
with a guy called Thanos trying to destroy
half of humanity.
- Oh no, oh no.
I guess that's why Thor is on his way to me
with some special visitors.
- Tony, we need a plan.
- Don't worry, I'll think of something.
(jaunty guitar music)
- Tony, let me introduce you
to the Guardians of the Galaxy.
- The what of the galaxy?
- We're the Guardians of the Galaxy,
and we're here to help you fight Thanos.
- What?
Tell me his name again.
- Thanos.
- What's he doing?
- Drax, what are you doing?
- I'm practising my sneaking ability.
- Wow.
(Thanos roars)
- Apparently this Thanos guy
now has Black Widow's toy.
- So which toy is left?
- My Iron Man toy.
- What of this Iron Man?
- That's me.
But it's okay.
It's in a secret place.
- What kind of secret place?
- Vision has it.
- Well, we'd better go and protect it.
- It's fine, I'll deal with it.
(jazzy music)
- Doctor Strange.
- Tony Stark here from the Avengers.
I need your help to protect Vision.
- Does that mean I'm an Avenger now?
- No.
- Well, then why don't you just send some Avengers
to protect Vision?
- Okay, I'll send an Avenger to accompany you.
- Okay, cool.
Who will it be, Thor, War Machine, Hulk?
- Just wait and see.
- When I'm done,
half humanity will still exist.
Perfectly balanced.
As all things should be.
(heroic music)
- Hello.
- Hi, Tony Stark sent me here to protect you.
- Why didn't he send an Avenger?
- He did apparently.
He should be here any minute.
(whooshes)
- Ha ha, I was with you all along.
- Ant Man, but you're not even in Avengers: Infinity War.
- But this is Gorgeous Movie version.
They can do whatever they want.
- Oh, yeah, I guess that's true.
- Doctor Strange, you need to get off to Wakanda.
- Why Wakanda?
- Because Black Panther needs to get the Iron Man toy
out of me.
- Where is it?
- It's in my bank.
- No, I mean where's Wakanda?
- I have no idea.
- Just use one of your portals.
(epic music)
(whooshing)
- Ha!
(upbeat techno music)
- Tony, an evil super villain
is trying to take over the world,
and you're here playing with virtual reality toys?
- Bruce, I'm not playing with toys.
I'm practising using augmented virtual reality.
- You can't defeat him on your own, Tony.
You're gonna need everyone's help.
- I know, Bruce.
That's why I've got the ultimate weaponry
to defeat him.
This is the Nerf assembly gear,
especially for Hulk.
- Wow, that's so cool, Tony.
Can't wait to take mine.
- Peter, you're an Avenger now.
- What?
To take on that crazy Thanos guy?
Why couldn't I be an Avenger
when you took on that weird Whiplash guy?
Why make me an Avenger now when it gets all dangerous?
- Don't worry, Peter.
I have another upgrade for you.
(epic music)
- Tony, where's mine?
That's not fair.
- [Thanos] When I'm done,
half of humanity will still exist.
Perfectly balanced.
As all things should be.
The end is near.
(suspenseful music)
- Don't worry, Vision, we'll soon have the toy of you.
- Guys, I think Thanos is here.
We must prepare ourselves for battle.
- Oh boy, this is gonna be fun.
- Come on, my friend, we must go to battle.
(whooshing)
(epic music)
(Thanos roaring)
(epic music)
- Doctor Strange, do your magic and make me Hulk.
Ah!
What did you do that for?
(Hulk groans)
- So nice of you all to come here
and witness the end.
(epic music)
(dramatic music)
(groans)
- Sorry!
- What sort of friend is that?
(groans)
- I'm okay, guys.
I'm okay.
(epic music)
(Thanos yells)
(laughs evilly)
(epic music)
(explosion)
(Thanos laughs evilly)
- [Thanos] The toys are all mine!
(solemn music)
The last Titan Hero toy is mine!
Iron Man.
(dramatic music)
(epic music)
- [Iron Man] Thanos, your time is up.
Put your hands up.
We've got you surrounded!
(Hulk growls)
- Seriously?
- Listen, Thanos, the end is near for you.
Let's settle this with a dance-off!
- A dance-off?
You gotta be kidding me.
(bouncy dance music)
(laughter)
- Hang on a minute.
He's got the toys.
- Guys, it doesn't matter!
'Cause these toys are available everywhere!
(cheering)
(happy music)