Rolls you know what I mean what I mean, and then my name is right here, cool beans, and then there's is also a matching Lunchbox and pencil case
how
Freaking cute so cute these are really good material and everything. I'm really happy with how they turned out
I was supposed to tell you guys about these like two months ago
But I felt like I was telling you about too many things that you should buy
and I just felt guilty but it's been a while and
These are there was also another design that matches my old t-shirt design. It's like my face, and theres some bread
Miscellaneous things that also comes in the pencil case and lunchbox as well
Will be a link in the description box to go check that out, but in the meantime
Let's talk about school. I
Did not know that I was transgender when I was in high School I
Outwardly looked
What you might expect a young trans girl or gender questioning person to look like?
But I did not have the language to understand or explain my feelings
So that made a lot harder for me, so if you're a young trans person
and you actually understand what you're feeling if that helps that helps significantly obviously that does not help as much as
Everything being perfect, but it is a step in the right direction
I remember a really big issue for me was bathrooms and the biggest problem
I think the reason what it did not get easier for me was because I didn't understand that I was trans, so I never
Communicated to the staff what the solution would be I just knew I felt incredibly unsafe and out of place in men
And the boys changing rooms and bathrooms. I actually did not once step foot in them for my entire four-year
High school career, I never went in the boys bathroom for four fricking straight years. I lived fairly close to the school
So what I did and what might be an option for you
If this is something safe for you
And this is what would work for you possibly would be walking home to go to the bathroom and then coming back
Sometimes I did not come back because I was having a bad day, and I don't know I got good grades
So my parents let me skip sometimes
I don't know they didn't seem to be too bothered by it as long as I was not failing my classes
And I was a good student I just was confused in every single other way. I had no idea what was going on
What is my hair doing? This is supposed to be a glamorous channel
I'm supposed to be giving you life style and beauty I never actually claimed that so I can't actually
Feel guilty for having messy hair, okay?
Never did I clean I was a beauty channel
That's what it's supposed to do right. Yeah
So if that's an option for you that might be something that works if you can
Communicate to somebody on the staff you don't have to necessarily tell everybody
But maybe I don't know a counselor or a principal that use some kind of teacher that you trust they might be able to
Give you access to another washroom
Not necessarily like you know if you're a trans girl like me it may not be the girls washroom
If you're not ready to come out yet
Or you know if you just don't feel safe in the guys wash them you might be able to ask a staff member for access
To the staff washroom or for another washroom that has a different purpose like an accessible washroom
Which was what I end up using in 12th grade because I told them like I need to go through the washroom somewhere
And I'm not going to the boys, and then we're like okay use the accessible one, and that was a
That was a sort of solution the problem here is it doesn't really make me feel integrated into the school
It doesn't make me feel included as a human being but again
I didn't have the language I needed to understand this so that's the reason I was okay with this other option
And it served my purposes it was fine
You know looking back with the stuff that I knew with the teachers that I knew with the people that work there that
Cared about me
I know
That if I did have the language to understand this that they would have they would have given me access to the girls washroom
They would not have thrown a fit because they they were great. If you're just going into a new school
Maybe you're not sure if the staff is going to be accepting or accommodating, but you may be surprised
I'm not promising you will be but you may be surprised, so
Fingers crossed for you, maybe there will be a staff member that rocks your socks off
I really hope so. Another thing that really plagued me was a friend circle. So when I was in ninth grade
I had not come out of the closet as gay yet because thats what i thought i was and I still was hanging out with all of my
Male friends from Eighth grade into Ninth grade into high school pretty quickly in ninth Grade
I started feminizing myself, and I started know wearing wearing women's clothing and wearing makeup and everything everybody was like okay?
We know you're a home of sectional
I just tell us right so I did and then everything was fine until the start of second semester and then pretty much everybody was
like...
A home of sectional? I can't be seen near him
Clutching the pearls you know what I mean, and I lost most of my friends like I would say
99% of my friends were like "peace!" You know and I had to make new friends
Which was okay because I made some wonderful amazing friends that stuck with me all the way through my high school career
And I still talk to some of them to this day pretty frequently. The bottom line is if somebody is
Going to drop you like a hot potato because of who you are
something that you cannot change about yourself something that is a part of you those are not your friends to begin with and
that might sound harsh
but that is the best way to think of it because that will allow you to move on and get new friends quickly and
You'll be able to establish a new a new sense of place a new sense of belonging and that really does help with making
High school more survivable for people. Now my school was pretty poor I came from a pretty poor town
So we didn't really have clubs really like there were like three clubs
and nobody really did them nobody went to them mostly it was sports teams like football was a big deal where I came from which was
Not going to work for me, but if your school has you know some groups and clubs and things you might be able to find
Belonging and friends in a place like that, maybe you have an interest like chess or I don't know, comic books
Maybe there's a group like that in your school or maybe people in your drama class
You know you can get along really well with them. Maybe somebody that you feel like you work
Well with I don't know. It seems
So daunting when you're a young teenager to approach people and talk to them and make friends
It feels like you're not supposed to do that like it's taboo
But when you become an adult when you get out of high school and you you have a little bit
More perspective and a little bit more understanding of how big the world is it feels different
And I would like to think that me telling you. Hey
It's not a big deal to talk to somebody that you think is cool and sure you know trying to make friends
I like to think that that would translate properly
But when I'm thinking back to how I felt when I was 13 14 years old that would be like you have no idea what
You're talking about because you know, while what Im saying might be true
It's not true in that little universe
Because high school really is its own little universe its its own pocket Galaxy in the world and like
None of the rules of being an adult really apply there as much. It's odd
It's very very odd. So to summarize those two points, I really would say just try to reach out to
staff members you trust or you know people that you think you could be good friends with people that you have a lot in
Common with maybe people that you even feel maybe they haven't communicated this to you or to anybody that maybe you feel like
They might also be queer
or you know gender questioning or something because they very well might be thinking that about you too so there could be some kind of
Unspoken like bond right off the bat because you both understand that you're trying to prevent each other because you need somebody
Because nobody gets it. And that very well could happen, that's a very common situation
for people to feel a connection to somebody because they feel like
They're going through the same thing, and you know it's important to be careful and tactful when you're approaching a situation like that
But you can create and discover some amazing friendships that way
so
that's one matter is you know surviving high school by finding a support system through the staff or through friends that you can create or
Not create really, it's not a character creation
Yeah, I don't want this friend with this hairstyle, and this interest in the skill no
But friends you can meet and you can you can create that relationship
But there's also the matter of understanding that high school is temporary that
This life is temporary not this life as a whole
But the life being a high school student the life of being a student the life of being in this high school
Situation is all very temporary if I could tell myself in
Ninth grade that I would be looking like this feeling like this being this person doing this work when I was 19
I I mean it had when I was searching if I could tell my 13 year old self that they would not believe me it
Would not seem realistic it would seem completely bullshit, so I want you to know as well that whatever you feel like is achievable
So much more is achievable so much more is possible for you
You might feel like you're gonna have to maybe settle for something that doesn't make you quite happy
But you've got to do it because you know you don't want to overshoot or something, but that's what I did
And I haven't done that for four years
No for like two years ago, I guess, I don't know. When I graduated high school, I thought I was a man
I thought I was going to do makeup because I was good at it and
It was something that you know I could do easily it was an easy route for me
But I knew I wanted to be an entertainer. I knew I wanted to help people with serious issues
I knew I wanted to be some kind of an activist, I knew I
Wanted to stand up for people. I wanted to stand up for what was right
I wanted to speak for people that couldn't speak about, you know, their own struggles and
I was like. There's no job for that. That's not I can't do that
I'm just going to be a makeup artist which if you want to be a makeup artist, that's your ultimate dream fucking do it, okay
But I'm telling you that wasn't my ultimate dream
It was just something that I knew I could do and I could pay the bills and life has a way of
Shocking you like it's weird. It's weird. You don't even at least for me when all these changes started happening
You know well after high school
I didn't even think about
that kid
When you know that 13 year old kids that couldn't look people in the eye and was bullied everyday like I didn't I didn't think
About that, and I didn't think about you know the graduating guy that was like
Oh, I have to be serious, and you know strap on my college boots, and shit. I didn't think about that dude
like yesterday, it's so bizarre
It's so hard to explain, but you will be an entirely different person in four years
And it's not that you're becoming somebody else
It's that you are growing and changing and learning and you're finding your own place in the world
And you're creating your own space in the world
And I think that's a very comforting thought
And I wish that I could have told that to myself when I was in high school
So you know I can give you all the advice in the world about making friends and finding support systems
But I think the best thing for you to know is that
High school ends and that it really doesn't fucking matter
It really does not fucking matter. You know of course there are certain career paths in certain passions that might require
You know a very deep understanding of math or something, you know there's all those kinds of things
But the social structure of high school it does not fucking matter
What you wear doesn't fucking matter and this is coming from a person that dressed to the nines every day
I wore heeled a 7-inch platform shoes and did my makeup like a frickin theater actor every day because that was what made me happy
But you know I can remember that being cool and also remember and acknowledge that that really had no consequence
Besides, maybe people remember me a little bit more
I don't know if you're having an easy time in high school
And you know it's going well and very happy for you, and I think that's fantastic
But if you know somebody or if you are a person who's having a tough time
Please just remember
This is not permanent
The temporary situation, and you're going to get out of there and kick the world's ass
You're going to show them who you are. And it's going to be incredible
What's all that being said I'm going to head out if you guys have any practical tips like the things I said about possibly making
Friends or support with staff members if you have things like that that might help a young trans or queer person through high school please
Let us know in the comments
let's start a dialogue about that let's exchange tips and tricks and maybe honestly maybe make some friends down in the comments section
You know that you can text all day or something because that would help me that would have helped me
I didn't have a cell phone till I was like 17 years old so like do that
I don't know. And until next time, just remember you are a unique individual that will spend a lifetime
Growing and changing and who you are right now is just a tiny
Decimal fraction of the masterpiece, you are going to become in just a short number of years. So,
Remember that I love you so much. Bye
Also check out the merch in the description Box. Don't forget. I love you. Peace out.