All right.
I have some good news and I have some bad news.
The good news is I don't need these.
[APPLAUSE]
The bad news is I hurt my neck.
[SYMPATHY 'AWW'S]
I know.
So the people over here, I know you're there.
I can sense you.
I sense the energy.
And the people over here, I'll be close to you soon.
And I'll see you soon.
And you want to know how I did it?
Yes!
So do I. I have no idea.
I woke up--
Here's the thing.
I spent the morning watching tennis,
and then the afternoon some bird watching.
And then at night, we did the hula-hooping on our necks.
No, I really have no idea.
I woke up totally fine.
Fit as a fiddle, as they say.
And I walked down the hall--
and it's a long hall.
And I went to turn my head and then
my neck disagreed with that situation.
It just seized up, and then I felt like there
was a rod going down my back.
And I thought, well, if I just ignore it,
it would go away like a toothache or global warming.
[LAUGHTER]
But it did not, Oh, look at all you over there.
[LAUGHTER]
So I went to the chiropractor, and I love him, I do.
But he told me everything that I'm doing wrong.
He said my feet don't point in the right direction.
One leg is longer than the other.
My shoulders are humped, my hips are uneven.
Basically, he said nothing about me is straight.
I know.
[APPLAUSE]
I don't need to pay you $175 to hear that.
Most of us are doing things that are bad for our bodies.
We're always looking down at our phones, so we sit too much.
And I know I asked all of you to sit,
but this is not about you right now.
We don't realize though how fragile our bodies are.
Our health is just like one little thing goes wrong.
Our body is like a string of Christmas lights.
And like one light goes out, the whole string goes out,
and it gets into a tiny, crazy knot in the back of your head
that you can't untangle.
And you're in so much pain that you just want to get lit.
You know what I mean?
Actually, I feel better now.
I mean, you should've seen me this morning.
It's loosening up as the day goes on.
Kind of like the Today Show.