Welcome back.
The holiday is meant to be a time of
celebration spent with loved ones.
But we know that for some,
it can invoke feelings of grief
and depression and stress.
So here to discuss some healthy
ways to deal with all of those
feelings is Doctor Brad Schwall,
the President and CEO of the Center for
Integrative Counseling and Psychology.
Doctor Schwall,
thanks for being with us again here today.
Thank you for having me.
So let's talk about
navigating the holidays here.
One of the things I'd like to hit
on 1st is I I think that this
time of year tends to bring up
for a lot of people memories of
someone who has been lost since,
you know, maybe since last year,
maybe for much longer than that.
That alone can be a hard thing
to get through because so many of
our memories around the holidays
are so crystallized and and we
feel that so palpably when we
all get together again.
Most definitely.
And it's a balance of acknowledging
the feeling, acknowledging the loss,
because we can't deny that.
So if we have a friend or
family member who's had a loss,
don't be afraid to talk about that loss.
And at the same time, we we want to adjust,
we want to create new memories,
new traditions, we want to keep busy.
We for sure want to take care
of ourselves physically.
So our diet and eating well
and not drinking too much.
So by taking care of ourselves physically,
we're also prepared for dealing with
those emotions that will come up.
So, so not pushing down the feeling,
but but if you're newly dealing with a loss,
it's OK to to keep busy and
do perhaps some new things to
keep your mind on the present
and maybe talk about that person,
maybe make a toast to that person.
You know that they're sort
of there in spirit too.
So let's talk about because you
mentioned diet and you mentioned
food and you mentioned busy.
A lot of people, it seems like,
you know, they put so much work
and so much stress into making
everything just perfect just right.
And most times it's never going
to be just perfect, is it?
I you may not hear me say this often
because I talk about being kind and caring,
but put yourself first.
So be your best self.
That will help you to have
realistic expectations,
that will help you to be non anxious
and that way you can enjoy the moment.
So don't expect too much of yourself.
Have realistic expectations
about what is going to happen.
But then most importantly enjoy the moment.
And if there is some stress or conflict,
be grounded.
Remember to to breathe even,
but most importantly,
do find that gratitude and do
focus on that appreciation
for who you have around you.
After the past couple of
years of pandemic Dr Schwall,
this may be the first time that some
family members are seeing each other
again in in a setting where so many of
them are gathered in a couple of years.
And so that can probably maybe
bring about some social anxieties.
There especially for people
who might still be, you know,
concerned about the contagiousness
of of the virus and other
viruses that are out right now.
And in addition to that,
you have these layers of, you know,
we're more polarized than we were.
Maybe when you saw some of these
relatives last and some of them
are not going to be able to help,
but bringing up the last election,
maybe even the next election,
how do you tell people to sort
of walk through this minefield,
especially if they may already have
some social anxieties going back in
and getting back to quote UN quote?
Normal,
but then dealing with those
things on top of it.
Well, we certainly can set some
boundaries around conversation.
And if we do enjoy having conversation
even when there are differing opinions,
we define ourselves.
It's OK to to share our opinion,
but we're respectful of others and
and we know when to stop because
we're we're never going to be able to
convince somebody to believe our way.
But if we are OK with having a conversation
talking about what we believe in terms of,
I believe this, I believe.
This is important and
in respecting the other,
those conversations can go well.
Again, have those boundaries.
Decide for yourself how you want to
enter into being with family.
Observe.
Sometimes we get triggered and drawn in if we
if we get exasperated by what somebody said.
But if we can observe and
stay calm and grounded,
that can help us to be
present in a respectful.
And also a peaceful way.
Good advice there. Don't get drawn in.
Maybe pretend that you're just
watching a movie there in front
of you and take a deep breath
while they're going on and on.
Doctor Brad Schwall,
President and CEO of the Center for
Integrative Counseling and Psychology.
Thanks for walking us through it,
and happy Thanksgiving.
You too. Thank you.