Hey everyone!
Welcome back to Lavendaire.
Let's talk about stress.
Today I want to share some tips on how to deal with stress and anxiety.
October was actually one of the busiest months of my year.
I was preparing for the launch of my new Artist of Life Workbook and the Daily Planner.
I was preparing for the launch event, planning all of that, which is happening very soon.
And also recording podcasts for the new podcast season on top of making videos for YouTube.
And it was my birthday, everything that life throws at you all at once.
It was pretty crazy.
So inevitably, I get pretty stressed out even though I'm trying my best to handle everything.
Let me just debunk the myth that stress is an inevitable part of life.
I don't believe that.
I choose not to believe that, because even though stress is very common –
everyone here has probably experienced stress in life – yes, life can be stressful at times.
I believe that if you meditate and whatever, you'll be able to achieve some state of zen
where you're so so present that you are never stressed.
I do believe that it is possible to live life more stress-free and more worry-free.
Don't believe that stress is unavoidable, because it is avoidable.
So today I'm going to share some tips on how to deal with stress
and how to prevent you from being too overwhelmed by stress.
My first tip when you're feeling stressed is to 1) Take a shower or a bath.
There's something about cleansing yourself physically that also cleanses yourself mentally.
It also cleanses your energy, just washing away all those impurities.
It relaxes you instantly.
Also take time to hydrate and drink lots of water after that shower or bath,
and you'll feel so much better already.
My second tip is the biggest one: 2) Be present.
You notice that, when you're stressed, you're usually feeling worried or anxious
about the future because it's uncertain.
You're unsure whether you're gonna pass this test,
or you're not sure whether something's going to be certain,
and that can drive us crazy if we allow it to.
But when you're present, you're focused on whatever's in front of you.
And if you haven't noticed: You can always, always handle the present moment in front of you.
So whatever challenge is happening in your life,
if it's the situation you're in right now-right now, you'll deal with it.
But usually we're stressed because we're trying to deal with the situation that has not happened yet.
It's in the future.
That's what's causing the stress.
Know that your power is here, in the present moment.
You can think of a time when you maybe had a huge test in school coming up
and you were really stressed about it.
You were really stressed out studying or preparing,
or maybe procrastinating made you really stressed out.
But when you're actually there taking the test, you're not stressing out.
You're focused, you're flowing.
You're like, "Okay, let me figure this out. Let me do this…"
You're solving the problem in front of you.
Stress is a trick your mind plays on you before anything is actually happening.
Stress is the anticipation, not the action.
So focus on the action in the present moment and you'll be fine.
My third tip is to 3) brain dump.
Journal it all out.
When you journal out all your thoughts, worries, anxieties, you see what's causing your stress
and you see how irrational some of your fears or worries might be.
This might help you feel more clear afterwards, so that you're not in your head all the time.
Once you see it down on paper, you'll be able to organize your thoughts a little bit.
You might even give yourself advice in your journal session.
Usually I just help myself when I'm journaling it out.
"I'm worried about this. But also: this, this, and this. It's okay because this, this, and this."
So you can really use journaling as a tool to relieve your stress, to tell yourself –
remind yourself – that it's going to be okay.
You can also use this journaling session to help you plan out those next steps
to help you get out of this stressed situation.
You can use it as a productive time to get organized, plan your next baby steps,
see what beliefs or thoughts are holding you back.
Really use it to get clear.
The fourth step if you're a super stressed or super anxious person is to
4) Talk to someone and get help.
Sometimes you need an outsider's perspective to be able to see your situation clearly.
So talking to a trusted friend or therapist can really help you relieve your stress and anxiety
and put you at ease and feel at peace a little more.
An amazing resource to get connected with a licensed therapist online is BetterHelp.
I'm really grateful to have BetterHelp sponsor today's video.
BetterHelp is a platform for affordable, private, online counseling.
Their website and app offers access to licensed, trained and accredited counselors and therapists,
straight from your home, so that anyone who's struggling can get help anytime, anywhere.
How it works is: You fill out a survey and they match you with a counselor who's perfect for you.
You'll be able to see a description of your therapist, his/her specialties,
years of experience, and reviews from other clients too.
You can always switch with the therapist if you don't vibe with the one you got matched with.
So after sharing a little bit about myself and my situation,
BetterHelp matched me with a therapist in a day and we scheduled a live video chat.
So that was actually my first experience with talking to a therapist.
And even in the first session, it was just refreshing to be able to share my problems
and anxieties honestly with someone who doesn't know who I am.
And I even cried a lot in the first session which I totally did not expect.
But it's just been very healing and a different experience to try out.
So if you're interested definitely check out BetterHelp because it's so easy and accessible to use.
You can learn more at the description down below.
Tip 5) Detach yourself from the outcome and trust the process.
Understand that, in life, there are things that you can control and things that you cannot control.
And it's worthless, it's a waste of time to focus and worry about things that are outside of your control.
So just focus on everything that you can control.
Basically, do your best and release your control of the outcome.
Consider having this new perspective: I don't mind what happens.
When you don't mind what happens, you are living more carefree, you have zero expectations.
Whatever happens, happens.
I actually have a previous video where I talked about that quote,
where I first heard about it, which I'll link down below.
The idea is that life will take you in these different directions.
You will have challenges and hard times, but everything given to you,
everything put in front of you in life is there to help you grow, to help you learn, to help you get stronger.
So just trust that whatever's in front of you is whatever you have to grow through,
whatever you have to face.
And an easy life is not real.
There's no easy life.
There's no perfect life.
Bad things are gonna happen.
Challenges are gonna happen.
So as long as you have the mindset of:
"I'm just gonna do my best and not care about the outcome. I'm here to learn,"
you'll be okay.
Tip 6) Meditate
I honestly would've put this earlier on in the steps but I feel like I say it so much
that I wonder if you guys are sick of it.
But meditation should be in every single video because it is one of the cornerstone habits,
one of the main tips of being more stress-free, carefree, happy in life.
It just has so many benefits.
If you could just meditate five minutes a day, you'll already feel the benefits of a more calm mind,
and a more centered soul, if you know what I mean.
Meditation is learning to realign with your soul and softening the noise around you,
and remembering that your soul within, it's always still, it's always strong.
Your soul is invincible.
So meditation is a reminder to come back to that and realize that everything around is just temporary.
It's not going to stay like that forever.
Anyway, if it's difficult for you to meditate,
you can definitely try guided meditations like Calm or Headspace.
Or you could try spa music.
I really like Spotify spa music in the background sometimes, just because it's so relaxing.
There's also a quote that I heard once that really stuck with me, something like:
"Fifteen minutes of meditation a day is essential.
If you are busy, then an hour is necessary."
I actually think that's a quote that keeps coming up in my meditation app Zenfriend.
But anyway, it's super true that you should meditate every day,
but if you are busier or if you are more stressed, then you should meditate longer.
I know it's counter – When you're busy, you're like, "I don't have time for meditation."
But when you're busy is when you need meditation the most.
The last tip for when you're feeling stressed is to 7) Take care of yourself.
Take care of your body, your health, your well-being.
Don't forget that self care always comes first,
because you have to be okay in order to function in everyday life.
So make sure you're eating healthy, drinking a lot of water, getting enough sleep.
It really is the basics.
And I know that when we're busy or stressed, we tend to sacrifice things like that.
We tend to cut sleep, we tend to eat unhealthy because it's more convenient.
But when you're busy, that's actually the time that you need those things more.
The busier you are, the more you own it to yourself to take care of yourself.
Lastly, I want to leave you guys with a quote that I really like.
It's by Dale Carnegie:
"Inaction breeds doubt and fear.
Action breeds confidence and courage.
If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it.
Go out and get busy."
That just means that, when you're feeling stressed, anxious, worried,
which are all versions of fear, it means that it's all happening in your head.
And the best thing that you can do to get out of that state is to simply take action.
Similar to my point of being present, focus on what you can do right now
in the present moment, and do your best.
That's the best that you can do.
And when you start to take action, you will feel like – the fear dissolves
because you're so focused on what you're doing.
So when you just sit home and you're just thinking, of course you're gonna feel stressed and scared, all of this.
But when you're taking action, you feel more confident and you have more courage
and bravery to keep going and to just get things done.
So I send you guys all of that positive energy, all of that just-do-it energy.
And I hope that whatever stress you're going through right now,
that you just take a step back from your life,
appreciate it for what it is, be grateful for everything that you have, and just relax.
Appreciate the beauty, and after you do that, focus on what's in front of you and get to work.
Alright, love you all so so much.
Make sure you check out BetterHelp down below.
And I will see you guys in the next one.
Bye!